Ramshackle Day Parade

Closing Time

2009-08-04T08:31:00.004-05:00

I've decided to pack up the blogger account and head out to another site. If anyone still reads this, we'll see you there. Take some time to revisit the very underrated 90's classic by Semisonic first.

The new title is appropriately: It Is What It Is

Cleveland Rocks

2009-05-05T07:01:00.001-05:00

This about sums it up!

Another Random One

2009-05-02T16:03:00.002-05:00

OK, so I've been really damn busy. Sorry. A few things that are on my brain from recent events:

1. Ms. America - She had an opinion, she voiced it. Grow the fuck up. I disagree with her opinion too, but it's hers and I like people who voice their own thoughts. Not that Ms America is something to be taken very seriously, but why is Perez a judge anyway?

2. Swine Flu or N1H1R2D2 or what ever it's called - Stop whining! The regular flu kills a lot of damn people on its own. The media needs you to be scared of something so that way you'll watch the news. I'm curious, how many would really know there is a recession if the news didn't tell you? I bet not very many. Until we are living in shanty towns again, stop acting like it's the great depression. It's not even close. People are still bitching if their HD signal isn't all that HD. I know, because I am one. The same thing is happening with this flu. Wash your damn hands and don't worry about it.

3. Twitter - I think the idea is kind of lame, but I really don't care about it. It's not much different than blogging I guess. John Mayer's is pretty funny though.

4. Penguins lost to the Capitals. Heartache.

Peace, Love and Happiness!

You Growns Up

2009-03-26T07:00:00.002-05:00

"I have pinpointed the moment that a person passes from adolescence into adulthood—The moment when you stop thinking that any Dave Matthews Band lyric is insightful or deep.

If you never thought any Dave Matthews Band lyric was insightful or deep, you are an old soul."

-Mike

I guess it's over. My youth was a good time and I enjoyed it very much. I face my age everyday when I'm around my much younger classmates, but this, this just hurts!

They're Gonna Give Daddy the Rainman Suite!

2009-03-04T10:12:00.002-05:00

This past weekend I went to Atlantic City for the first time.

Pause. I just noticed that I'm working my way up the casino prestige ladder. I first went to a casino in Biloxi, Mississippi, then it was off to Atlantic City, next stop should be Vegas followed by Monte Carlo. Resume.

I'm not a big gambler, I never really cared because I always knew that the odds were greater that I would lose more money than gain. (See what I just did there?) If I did gamble, it was small time and only with money that I could handle loosing. So when The Lady expressed that we go, I was a little skeptical, but I said yes. All in all we only lost about $20, so it was a good day. The kicker came at the Blackjack table.

I have never played Blackjack outside of my friend's kitchen table. I know the basic rules, but I haven't a clue about the strategy. However, I always had a James Bond fantasy to sit at a table and play some cards, so we did. After finding the lowest minimum table we could find ($10) we sat down and placed our bet. The first couple hands were OK; mostly because the dealer did the math for me. Then the dealer instructed me on how to "properly" signal to hit or stay. Well I didn't hear him and the guy across the table decided to yell it. Fucker. Fine. I learned. Then the guy starts bitching about when I'm hitting or staying. Shut the hell up. It's my money. I played my $60 and left.

I'm not really mad at the guy or the dealer or anyone. It was simply more embarrassing than anything. I've decided that it won't happen again either. I found a few websites that I can practice and learn the strategies. Who knew that the game with the least amount of cards could be so complicated? Oh well, I'll be ready for Monte Carlo in about six months, give or take a few.

Have A Seat

2009-02-22T18:12:00.005-05:00

Last semester I usually sat in the front corner of my classrooms. Why? I don't know. This semester I decided to sit in the back for the same unknown reason. I've discovered that much like bathroom walls, the backs of desk chairs have some wonderful messages on them. In one of my boring classes where the professor rambles on about who-knows-what I noticed the following messages:

- I Love Potato Pancakes! Followed by, Me Too! And then, Who doesn't? Well, I don't. I've never had a potato pancake. Growing up, Mom never made one for me. Is this a Mid-West thing or an Ohio thing, like that Hang On Sloopy song? If you don't know, I'm sure you've heard the song, the chorus goes "Haaaang on Sloopy/Sloopy hang on" to which a bunch of Ohio people start yelling "O! H! I! O!" congratulations, you can spell. When I asked the meaning of the song, I was greated with blank stares. I hate Cleveland.

- The obligatory Chris + Kelley with a heart around their names. What a perfect set of suburban names. I wonder if they're still together driving mini vans with apple juice stains in the back seat from the kids. I'm sure that Chris wanted to consummate their relationship in his or her dorm room, but being the good Catholic Ohio girl, she made him wait a few months, weeks, maybe even days!

- My personal favorite: Are you on ur period? Maybe this was the result of Chris telling Kelley that he'd pull out but didn't quite make it in time and now they're a little worried. Would it be wrong if I said, for his sake I hope that she is on her period? Maybe the professor was especially bitchy that day and it had nothing to do with Chris and Kelley. I've never really met and angry woman on her period, mostly they're just more emotional, if that's even possible.

2005

2009-02-11T07:43:00.005-05:00

If you have twenty minutes or so to kill, I suggest you enjoy the following video. I first saw this in '05 when I was in TAD (temporarily stationed) in Mississippi. That was probably the second best time I ever had in the military.

In other news I've been giving you videos to watch because I'm in college and I write a lot and I'm a little writing fatigued. Look at the bright side, you can have something to entertain you while you should be working. Because, that is the true reason that man created the interwebs!

John Mayer Has A TV Show

1995

2009-01-28T10:05:00.001-05:00

This was my theme song when I heard it. Plus, it was from the era that rappers were good for shooting each other. Even Mom could listen to this one.

Skee-Lo - I Wish | Music Videos | SPIKE.com

While We're Discussing Money

2009-01-17T15:04:00.003-05:00

There are two colleges near me. One is a public school the other is a private school. I go to the private school. The tuition for me is (rounded) $28,000. The tutition for the public school (state resident) is $5,100. Both of those are with the fees included and minus room and board. Looking at the state school I could start as a freshman and end with a JD (law degree) and still pay $10,000 less than what I pay the private school for one year.

WTF?

This may have been the dumbest decision of my life. With the loans I took out, along with the grants and scholarships I was given, I am still short $2,000.

I want to be a history professor someday. I don't think even a degree from Harvard would make me stand out in that field. I imagine that having a doctorate is the key for this career path. With that in mind, I'm transferring. If you can think of a reason that I shouldn't transfer, e-mail me pronto. If you're a rich woman looking to have your sexual desires fulfilled in return for providing me money, e-mail me faster than the others.

Why I Have To Skip Concerts And Games

2009-01-17T10:24:00.004-05:00

This morning I wanted to purchased tickets to see Billy Joel and Elton John. This is a legendary show that has happened a few times in the past and I never got to go. The only thing I could afford was upper deck behind the stage. So, if they have any kind of tall backdrop, I'm screwed.

The other thing that bothers me about this is that we have to go to Ticketmaster or any other kind of outlet. By the time I was able to get to the site, the decent tickets were gone, not that I could afford them anyway. They have something called Ticket Exchange that allows you to buy and sell tickets that folks already bought. Now here is where the prices skyrocket; this is, essentially, legal scalping of tickets.

The sports world is no better. Tickets to the playoff game between the Steelers and the Ravens started at $239.00. The Penguins start at least $80.00.

You can't forget the service charges either.

Maybe someday I'll have the disposable income to afford these things. While I'm a student my sporting events and concerts may be on hold and that pisses me off.

Edumacation (Update)

2009-01-13T09:04:00.004-05:00

The second semester started yesterday. Whatever.

My God class seems kind of interesting. We're not just going to talk about Christianity so I'm kind of looking forward to that. I have faith issues, but I'm still interested in religions and why they do what they do and why they do it. We have to attend a religious service of a group that we are not. For example I can't go to a Catholic church but instead I should go to Synagogue. The catch is that we have to do it in groups. I hate group work. People will drag you down. Who knows maybe this time will be better than the last.

I'm the same age as my English professor. She has a slight Valley Girl voice, which I've noticed a lot of people are getting. It's that whiny sounding voice with a lot of "Likes" thrown in; drives me nuts. But, no one else sees the irony of an English professor talking like this. Should be an easy grade though. No tests, just a few reports to write.

I have speech, history and philosophy today, or as I like to call them Talkin', McHistory (it's an Irish history course) and Deep Thoughts. A lot of people are terrified by the speech class. That should provide some laughs. I'll give you an update tomorrow.

Update:

Speech class went OK. People weren't as scared as I would have hoped. No laughs there. Rate My Professor gave her a hot rating. Not so much. She's not bad to look at, but I wouldn't give her the hot rating just yet. Maybe Cleveland is like being on a ship. As the time wears on the bad looking girls get hotter because of the lack of hot ones. Yeah, yeah, I have a girlfriend, but everyone looks, so kiss my ass.

Speaking of looking, ladies, do something with your damn eyebrows. Even I have the barber trim and separate mine and I'm so hairy I may as well be the missing link.

Deep Thoughts, well the prof there is a bumbler. I lost track of what he was saying so many times that I didn't know what was going on. Hopefully the book will bail me out. I could drop the course and pick up another, but I got a sweet schedule (every Friday off) and I don't really want to screw that up. I'll check it out though because I don't feel like teaching myself philosophy, if that's even possible.

The Irish history course made me feel like a moron so far. We started talking about neolithic, prolific, prilosec ages or something, I don't know that shit. We'll see what happens as the weeks progress. I think the good doctor is trying to do too much history in too short a time. Let's be honest, nobody really cares about history BC. Well some do, but they like to dig in fields with spoons looking for pottery from those eras. Screw that.

They Will Come and They Will Go

2009-01-03T18:59:00.004-05:00

Happy New Year. It seems '08 was rough on a lot of people, I didn't really see it as bad. I would have done a lot of things differently, but overall it was pretty decent. Hope this year is a good one. If it's not, do your damnest to make it that way.

I just got back from the 'burgh where I watched my Penguins get dropped by the Bruins. I hate taking road trips to see my team lose. That part sucks. The rest of the trip was good. It was my Lady's first trip to the old Mellon Arena. That place is a dump, but it's ours and we love it. In talking with the Lady I opined that the new sports arenas don't have character anymore. Pittsburgh, Boston, Chicago, Buffalo, and many more all had unique arenas, but new ones were, or are being, built and now they're basically interchangeable and indistinguishable from each other. However, they are a lot more comfortable to watch a game in.

I bought Q and I tickets for a hockey game involving our local minor league team for his birthday. This is nice, because the tickets where $26 bucks each. The Penguins tickets were almost $90 each. Eek! Of course they'll charge these prices and we'll pay it and bitch about it.

The worst for me was while searching for the birthday hockey tickets, I saw that Fleetwood Mac is on tour. I would love to see them. I have re-discovered them and I just simply adore them. The catch is that the tickets are $149 a piece. WTF? How much to these things need to be? Who sets these prices? Again, people will pay it and the shows will be sold out. If I had a bigger pay check, I'd be there too. Even with my small check I was concidering going, but the Lady said she would throw shit at me or something if I did. It's still tempting though!!!! I guess we'll just have to enjoy this instead. My favorite song, "Dreams."

They Say It's Your Birthday

2008-12-08T17:47:00.008-05:00

Adam on day one:

Adam on day 10, 266 (28 years):

Real Men

2008-11-12T21:14:00.004-05:00

Warning! Serious, Sentimental Post Ahead! Warning!

When I was a little Adam I remember my mom playing an album with a strange drawing on it of a man sitting at a piano. That album was Joe Jackson's "Night and Day." She would play this regularly when it was just her and I at home but I never grew sick of it. When I inherited her vinyl collection this was the first one that got a spin on the new turntable.

The jewel of this album is the song "Real Men." When I heard it as a child I obviously could not comprehend it's meaning, but I knew it was a powerful song that was full of emotion. Now that I've had a chance to revisit it, I can tell you that it is all that and more. I fell that I should share it with you all and maybe you can enjoy it too. The video is corny, but remember, it was the early 80s and no one really knew what they were doing yet as far as music videos went. As a matter of fact, why don't you minimize the screen and just listen to it the first time around, then you can go back and poke fun at the video. Here are the lyrics in case you want to read along. Enjoy!

Wexford's Target

2008-11-11T09:38:00.007-05:00

Two of my favorite things have now combined forces. Wexford, PA's own Christina Aguilera and Minneapolis' own Target. I hope they use this power for good. Too bad I have to buy this from iTunes and not Target. Sorry, but who needs CD's anymore? Christina, you are as hot as ever though...Even if the freeze frame of the youtube video isn't that flattering. Oh Nooooooo!

Fun With The Interwebs

2008-11-07T10:32:00.002-05:00

Create your own Muppet I don't think I've had this much fun since the Simpson's character and the South Park character creators. The only downside is that it won't let me save the image so you all could see. I'm sure there is some computer nerd way to do this, but I don't care that much.

The Internet inventor approves this message.

The Breakup

2008-11-05T18:07:00.003-05:00

Today I quit my second job in under three months.

When I started back to school I had in mind that I would need some sort of part time job to give me some play money. I wasn't really sure what to do though. I came across an add in the school paper for Box Store. I went in for the interview and it seemed like a job I could handle. The first day I started I found out I was wrong.

I despise being micro managed. The owner of Box Store was there all the time. He didn't trust his employees. He talked down to them. All signs of bad leadership. I was in charge of a few folks in my military days and I was never condescending to them like this guy was.

Today I was working, minding my own business when Boss tried to correct me. Afterwords I was caught rolling my eyes. He says "What was that look for?" I responded "What? Look?" So we kind of just brushed that one off.

A few hours later he asks me "Do you remember yesterday when we were discussing writing down what you were doing?" (They had the Scrap Paper system. If I was helping you do something I was supposed to keep notes on a small piece of paper so that way if my coworker took over for me, he knew what I was doing.) I looked at him and said "Yeah sure I remember that."
"Well yesterday when a lady came in and needed help you didn't write down what you did. You had to come from across the store and tell me. Did you not think it was important to do that?"
"Wait! When?" I asked.
"Yesterday."
"When?!"
"Yesterday."
"OK so you're trying to correct me for something minor that I did over 24 hours ago? I'm sorry Boss, but that doesn't fly. I'm not blowing you off, but if that's what you think that's fine too."

I went back out to do some more work and mind my own business again. About 20 minutes later I was summoned back to the office again. "You know, Adam. This just isn't going to work out" he said. "We're just going to have to part ways."
"Yeah we are" I replied. "I was going to make this my last shift anyway."
"So why did you have such an attitude with us?"
"You really want to know? (I didn't wait for an answer) Well, first, your employees don't respect you. You talk down to them, you micromanage them, you talk to everyone like they're stupid. The problem is that they don't know enough to call you out on it. They're young boys who have been in school all their lives and they only know people talking down to them. I was in charge of a lot of kids younger than them and I would never treat them like you treat these boys. They're smart. Trust them."

"Secondly, you nickle and dime your customers. A gentleman came in here the other day and spent almost $200 dollars, yet you made sure to make sure he was charged for those four copies he made at 17 cents a piece. You're all about customer service but you don't hook your repeat customers up here and there."

I'm sure more was said, but I was in a "blind rage." All I remember is Jack (co-worker) looking at me with a "Right on, man! F'n A!" look.

Guess it's back to the drawing board.

It's Not Gay if You Say "Good Game!"

2008-10-27T19:13:00.003-05:00

When I was in Maryland and even in Virginia I used to drive by a "scenic overlook" sign outside of Frederick on I-270. I used to always think that I should stop and check it out. I forgot about it for the most part after I stopped driving by it. Before I moved to Ohio I figured I should stop and check it out since I didn't know when I'd be by again.

I pulled in to see some scenery and a few historical markers with a small mix of picnic tables. I noticed a few cars around so I parked and headed over towards the markers. Apparently it was the site of some Civil War skirmish which, being a history nerd, peaked my interest. As I was reading a middle aged man came over towards me and mumbled some sort of greeting. I returned the favor and finished reading. As I looked up he was still there. He mentioned something about the scenery and I agreed that it wasn't too bad.

He then looked at me and said "Well looks like it's just us two."
"Yeah, that it is." I said as I looked around and backed up slowly.
He then said something about being safe or careful or something weird. Immediately the alarms started sounding and I decided that it was time to run the fuck away. Fast. I don't know, but I think that I was propositioned. I always thought those rest stop stories were a myth, but apparently this guy was the myth buster.

Comment Interest

2008-10-03T20:45:00.003-05:00

I decided to wipe the comments from now on. Nothing personal. It's just that I have an e-mail address (some of you have both) and the only thing I've gotten in the Ramshackle In Box is a few from Mike, a guy from Botswana telling me I've inherited millions and a girl who promises to make my penis bigger. I really appreciate her offer and as soon as the guy sends me my money I'm on the first plane to Cali!

I Aint Got Time To Bleed

2008-10-01T16:51:00.007-05:00

I've been told that a new post is needed. I'm game, the problem is that I'm busy. I don't mean like, "Go away kid. We'll play catch later." busy, I mean my damn head hurts busy. I mean I hate looking at my fucking laptop anymore busy. I haven't gone on a date in months busy.

I've never been good at time management, so I'm learning by trial and error and it's been mostly error. I've got a six pager due next week on some topic that I really don't give a shit about and a four pager due this week on a topic that isn't as interesting as I thought it would be. I've kind of dug myself into a hole on the homework. We get some nightly assignments on top of papers and tests. It's a royal pain in my Royal Irish Ass!

I am hereby placing requests for any and all tips on time management in relation to college life. First I'll lay out what I do have:
Day planner with big spaces for each day.
Syllabi for each class laying out the assignments and general class time.
A six year old who does require his daddy time.

The social life seems to have been put on the back burner so if there is room for that too, let me know.

Last time I was this busy was when that bus full of Swedish women broke down in front of my house. They all insisted on staying in my room with me because they were afraid of being left alone. They also forgot their night clothes so they had to sleep naked. I was only being a humanitarian at that point.

Oh yeah, I'm trying out for the Jeopardy! college tournament tonight too. Wish me luck. I'll let you know how that goes as soon as I get my results.

And your King and Queen are...

2008-09-11T08:09:00.010-05:00

I've decided to bring my old composition book out of retirement and take notes during the day. This way when I can get on my computer and bring you a post I can remember what it was that caught me as funny that day. There is no shortage of entertainment these days either.

The biggest thing on my mind right now is the Homecoming Dilemma. I recently learned that my school has a Homecoming dance. Yes, it is just like the high school version complete with a court and a planning committee. This of course brought out jokes of Dad driving my date and me, "be careful when pinning on the corsage", is someone having a party afterwards, are you two going to do it, etc. If you can think of all the drama and cliches associated with Homecoming you can guess the jokes I made.

Over the past few days I've gotten to know some of my classmates and I have heard conversation of the dance. I was asked if I was going. I stared blankly and said, "I don't know." "Well, you should go." they said "It'll be a good time." Honestly, part of me really wants to go. It's a chance to get dolled up and out of the house.

Now, here's the moral dilemma: Most of the girls I've met and interact with cannot buy their own beer yet. They're legal, but just barely (see what I did there?). I really don't want to go there. But, at the same time, that's who I see daily. Wonder if they have older sisters?

I have met two who are in my own age group, however. One works at the school (good looking, laughs at my jokes). The other one cuts my hair (also good looking, very sarcastic sense of humor). I have had pretty decent and flirty conversations with both and they are both intelligent and I wouldn't mind being seen in public with them.

So there we have it. Homecoming, looks, age, and the fear of Chris Hansen. What do you all think?

Week 1 Done

2008-09-05T10:38:00.004-05:00

Coming to you live from the library I am officially a college student, not because I'm taking classes, but because I'm blowing off work on those classes to do something completely unrelated. All kidding aside, I am very happy to be here. It's been a long road to get to this campus. I plan to get all I can out of these folks because, dammit I'm paying them enough!

So far my classes have been worthwhile. A lot of reading! I've not read for retention in 1o years, I've only read for pleasure. That really isn't that big of a deal though, I'm quickly getting the hang of it. The age difference isn't too bad either, but you can tell that it's there. One of the kids in my history class is in the ROTC who is already committed to the Army and he sounds just like I did before I went to boot camp. The headstrong, naive, bullet proof feeling of them fascinates me. I know I'm not old by any means, but it's interesting to listen to their take on the world around them and what they think and want their lives should be like.

The school's radio station put out a call for DJ's and I've decided that I am going to go for it. I think it would be a riot to have my own show. I just hope everyone else will appreciate it. I'm thinking that it would be fun to have someone else with me in the studio because I tend to be a lot more humorous when I can play off the energy of someone else. We'll see how it goes...

They Took The Pool?

2008-08-19T08:28:00.003-05:00

Not to fear, new posts are coming soon and I have a feeling that I will have plenty of material with the coming school year. The biggest one being that I'm 10 years older than most of my classmates. Amazing how fast that decade has gone. I still feel like I just graduated this past May.

I'm surrounded by boxes and I still need to fill some more, so I'll see you in Ohio.

Meeting With The Bobs

2008-08-05T07:10:00.002-05:00

I gave my notice (finally). Much to my surprise, there were no shouting matches or long winded statements of how I was making the worst decision of my life. As I've said before, I don't know why I was expecting that. Oh well. I simply went in to the manager's office, handed him my letter and said, "This is my notice. I've had several pieces fall in to place and it's an opportunity that I just can't pass up." He complimented me on my decision saying that I was bettering myself and no one could look down on me for that. We had a nice conversation for about 45 minutes; I don't think I've talked to him that long since my interview.

One mountain climbed, the Himalayas to go.

Welcome back! I quit.

2008-07-30T07:06:00.005-05:00

This is the big week when I tell my company that I will no longer be working for them. There are two things that make this weird for me, 1) the last job I quit was in high school. I just walked in and said, "I'm joining the military, so I'm going to enjoy my last month of freedom. See ya!" and 2) the last job I held I couldn't quit without going to jail or something else unpleasant. Because of that little problem I found myself not really knowing how to go about this; I consulted the internets. I found a jubilee of resignation letter templates that will do so apparently quitting is not as hard as I would have imagined.

Like usual I found the best advice came from our friend, Mike. I've decided to go the route he did and treat my quitting like a break up with less yelling and hopefully they don't throw my stuff on the front lawn because I still have to pay the sugar daddies over in the apartment complex office. However, just like breaking up, I'm finding that there is really no good time.

My boss was on vacation last week and on his way home he ran into some problems which prevented him from coming to work on Monday, one day gone. Then he got home to find someone had pulled a hit and run on his car so he spent Tuesday with that mess, two days gone. Today he's sick or something, three days gone. I hate to dump this on him too so soon after such a bad week, but I'm running out of time to give them proper notice.

Either way, I'll probably wait until Friday because, "We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week." (+10 if you know the movie)

Tuck and Shave

2008-07-22T09:28:00.008-05:00

Of all the postings here it dawned on me that I've never told any humorous military stories, so to fix that I'll share my favorite of all time.

As anyone who has been through boot camp will tell you that we did a lot of stupid things daily that made no sense. One such practice was tucking our shirts into everything. If you're wearing uniform pants, tuck your shirt in. If you're wearing exercise (PT) shorts, tuck your shirt in. If you're wearing a sweat suit, tuck your sweatshirt in. The point: We always had to have our damn shirts tucked in.

The military also has written directives on how to do almost everything. One such directive is the "Marine Corps Grooming Standard" that dictates our hair cut, our weight, our glasses, and how wear our clothes. There is a line that specifically states "The face will be clean-shaven, except that a mustache may be worn." It's that first part that got me in trouble. We didn't learn verbatim the shaving part, but we did shave everyday so maybe they figured we'd keep up the practice or maybe I was just sick that day.

I have the curse of having a 5 O'clock shadow by noon, because of this, shaving everyday for me is not only a pain in the ass figuratively it's a pain on my face literally. I countered this by not shaving all weekend or on days off so I could give myself a break. This was all well and good if I would have had my own place to live outside the gates, but when you live on base there are countless number of people who are waiting to not only point out your problem but also tell you loudly, it makes for some drama. One such incident occurred when I went shopping with the wife.

It was a typical Saturday morning, I was sitting on the sofa in my boxers drinking coffee watching TV when the wife then says, "I want to go to the mall." So I head to the mall without shaving. It didn't cross my mind until who should come walking the other way but the Sergeant Major who is a career grunt who is going through culture shock by serving in his first Intelligence Battalion in over 20 years. We didn't get along. He worked harder and I worked smarter. The two worlds could not be further opposite.

Upon seeing him I quickly did what any man would do in that situation, I hid in the nearest store in hopes that he wouldn't see me or my "Elvis Beard"(I know Elvis never wore a beard, but to many a Sergeant Major he did and, he was also used to illustrate all contradictions to the grooming standard.). After he passed I went back to my wife who was standing in the center of the mall with a very confused and annoyed look on her face. I thought I was safe; but come Monday it was apparent that I thought wrong.

As I passed his office I hear "Lance Corporal!" I tried the dumb approach and entered his office with a smile (Mistake 1) and said, "Good morning Sergeant Major! What can I do for you?" (Mistake 2) He told me that entrance was disrespectful and he'd address that shortly but first, "Didn't they teach you in boot camp to shave every day? Didn't you're highly motivated, truly dedicated Drill Instructors tell you that a Marine is to be clean shaven daily?" To which my prep school smugness kicked in and I responded with a very dry, "Yes Sergeant Major my DI's did have me shave everyday, but then again, they also had us tuck our t-shirts into our underwear so I just figured it was another cruel joke." As I watched his eyes bulge, his face turn red, his teeth began to grind, and I notice the vein on his forehead begin to swell I knew I was in for a real treat. He proceeded to verbally assault everything about me except my mother.

I expected this reaction, so the yelling didn't really bother me. What I took away from the whole thing, however, was this: The Sergeant Major was not a witty man. If he was he would have told me to pull my pants down to make sure my T-shirt was tucked into my underwear and then yelled at me for that too.

Make 'em an Offer He Can't Refuse

2008-07-08T09:12:00.004-05:00

The contract that I work on is up for renewal this year. Because of this many companies, including mine, are submitting bids to the government. A few weeks back Bossman brought in "commitment letters" for us to sign. At first we were a little worried about signing them but after reading them our fears were subsided. The letter simply stated that we would not give our resume to a competing bidder. I could go to another company if I so wished, but I couldn't have that company submit my resume as part of their package for my current job. Clear as mud? Good, let's move on!

I had no problem saying that I wouldn't give my resume to someone else because I honestly had no intention of doing that. Mostly because I know I'll be gone by the end of August anyway, but even if I wasn't I'm fairly content in my current position. I signed the letter and returned it to Bossman with a fake smile.

We had a meeting a few days later where Bosslady (who is higher up the chain) addressed the issue of the commitment letters. Her stance was, "If you're not committed to Company than Company is not committed to you and your resume will not be submitted as part of our package." I don't know what she meant, but I took it as a notice to look for another job if you don't sign these things.

Now we come to yesterday. I arrive to work and before I even sit down I'm told that the commitment letter has to be signed again because there was a rewording. Fine. Bossman brings new letters and they say the same thing except for this little paragraph at the bottom that states, "Upon reward I will be available for immediate start and will remain with the contract for a minimum of six months..." I looked at Bossman and said, "I can't promise you six months. It's nothing personal, but there is no way I can guarantee that." The others looked at me with shock. Eyebrows raised. Mouths dropped open. Car tires screeched in the background. If there was music it would have played "Dun Dun Daaaaaa". I basically gave my notice three weeks earlier than I wanted to.

Now, you're probably thinking, "You're leaving anyway, no big deal that you didn't sign!" And your are correct, however, even if I wasn't leaving I'd have a hard time with these letters. I get emails daily about positions that are opening from other companies as well as my own. If I had signed this and got an offer paying me more money closer to home I would be unable to pursue that job. As a financially strapped single parent my eyes where always open to better opportunities. Since I've decided on going back to school my interest has weened, but prior to that I gave every opening a thorough look. I would be unable to do that if I signed.

Over all I'm not worried about it because my path is set already. I feel bad for those that signed it and will get screwed over by it. I feel even worse for those that drank the Kool-Aide and signed it blindly. After two contracts with the military I am wary of any employment contracts. I'm also new to the civilian world so I'm not sure if this is something I can expect, but it doesn't seem to be common practice. Only time will tell. As for now, I wonder if the next six weeks will bring about any blow back from above.

What's That Smell?

2008-07-02T08:01:00.003-05:00

After I picked up Quentin I was at a light preparing for the Beltway Battle. I had my windows down to enjoy the low humidity when a strange yet familiar smell entered the truck. I looked to my immediate right at the young woman yammering on her cell phone thinking maybe it was her, but she had the windows up. I looked behind me to see Quentin and an empty lane. I then look a lane over to see a gentleman take a drag off a hand rolled cigarette, hold in the smoke, and then release some more of that sweet scent I had just noticed.

I've seen people smoke weed before, but never so brazenly. This guy was in traffic, during rush hour, puffing away without a care in the world. The best part of this whole exchange was that two blocks behind us were about three cops arresting arresting a couple of guys. Maybe he bought the weed from them.

George Carlin

2008-06-23T13:00:00.005-05:00

Another week begins and another death of a prominent figure greets us there. George Carlin was absolutely one of my favorite comedians ever. His ability to put together a routine on the most mundane of life experiences is something that I always enjoyed, looked forward too, and I will miss greatly.

Quentin will forever know him as the narrator for his Thomas & Friends movies and the voice of Fillmore in Cars.

He is most famous for the Seven Dirty Words but my favorite is the difference between football and baseball.

I cannot walk into an airport without thinking of this:
Part One

Part 2

My Thoughts On Tim Russert

2008-06-16T07:56:00.009-05:00

You all know what happened so there is no need to reiterate the details. There were also a copious amount of tribute shows this weekend telling you what a great man he was so I'm not going to repeat that either. I'll just say that I didn't watch Meet the Press every week although I should have. I always enjoyed how brilliant he was in hiding his own agenda. He was "tough but fair" to folks from both sides of the aisle. When he took over the show he called the show's creator and asked what his vision was when they started and he told Tim to, "learn as much as you can about the guest's views and opinions; then take the opposite side." In doing this he was quite possibly the best interviewer I have ever watched.

If you've never had the pleasure of seeing any of his interviews I would urge all of you to go to Youtube and watch some of the videos. Don't pay the comment section too much attention. Those guys are assholes of the highest degree.

If you would like to read more, you can start with the Wikipedia entry. There are several links and references on that page to other sites. He was an interesting man who worked in politics, journalism, and even showed up to Woodstock "wearing a Bills jersey and carrying a case of beer."

Russert questioning Stephen Colbert as to why it's pronounced Bert and not Ber.

Oh Happy Day!

2008-06-09T07:41:00.003-05:00

Today started off as a normal day; Quentin moving at his own speed, me fumbling around trying to figure out what to do next, and the TV telling me how hot it's going to be and how much traffic to expect. In preparation for today's heat I donned my white polo shirt and packed shorts to change into for the Battle of the Beltway drive home.

We got out the door at a pretty good time and I dropped Quentin off at daycare, that's when it happened. For the second week in a row, I dribbled coffee on my white shirt. This is something that I live in constant fear of every morning. Last week it didn't happen until I was turning into the work parking lot, no going home to change there. Today I was relatively close to home so a dilemma faced me: go change shirts or try to tough it out at work. I chose the former. I darted home while loudly cursing every traffic light that decided it would turn red as I approached it. I finally got in the house, took off the shirt, ran it under water, changed into another darker polo, and made it to work only 15 minutes late.

I left my cell phone in the truck so I went back outside to get it when I looked down and noticed a fresh brown spot on my shirt. I have a great week ahead of me.

It's In The Papers!

2008-06-06T22:21:00.004-05:00

I am now officially a published photographer. There was a photo contest in a local newspaper and I was chosen as the winner. You can see the online version here. It also comes with my first negative review! What a day!

I figured that I'd get some sort of bashing at some point in my photography life, but this guy just pissed me off. As you all should know by now, I can't let things go, so I responded by politely telling him to go fornicate with himself. Actually it didn't really piss me off too much, I chuckled when I read it, but either way, I can't let it go without defending myself. I just hope in doing so I didn't look like some snooty artist wanna-be.

Overheard in the Hall

2008-06-05T07:47:00.003-05:00

Two co-workers walked by my door and I heard the lady ask the man: "Have you ever been in a heterosexual relationship?" I didn't get to hear the answer, but who cares? It provided me with a small post. The best part is the guy she said that to is someone who's sexuality we've been wondering about lately.

I know I need to post more, but nothing is catching my attention as particularly entertaining plus I'm fighting off the annual summer cold. I hate being sick and I hate being sick in the summer even more.

Men's Room Follies

2008-05-29T12:52:00.004-05:00

Just when I thought I didn't have any material left for the month a douche bag co-worker swooped in and saved the day.

I was in the mens room alone. I finished, zipped, flushed, and heard the door. As I stepped over to wash I hear, "You don't always have to use the short one, man." I replied, "I'm short. I do. Shut up." He replied with an awkward chuckle. For those of you that don't know, I'm 5'5" and I'm perfectly happy with my height (mostly because I know it's something that I can't change). Secondly, I use the one proportional to my height and therefore avoid unwanted mess. And, finally, the shut up was a preemptive strike against the obligatory dick joke that would surly follow as well as letting him know that I didn't wish to discuss this.

The biggest thing that bothers me about this is not my toilet selection, but the fact that I hate being spoken to while I'm in the men's room. There are two things you don't do, when the boss asks if there are any questions at the end of a meeting you don't ask and you never talk in the men's room.

To top it all off this is the same co-worker that came in yesterday and started asking me about building web sites, like I care at 3:30. He wanted to know how to build a MySpace or Facebook type thing. I told him that it wouldn't work because that market has already passed, no one is going to leave the Space, the Book, or that other one for some start up page. After many attempts to show him I didn't care ("How do you build websites?" "I don't know, I don't care. I go home and sit in front of the TV.") he still rambled on about how much money he thinks would be in it. I stopped listening and went back to looking at the Space. He got the point and left shortly after.

Two days in a row this guy screwed up my otherwise pleasant work week.

When we have a meeting again I'm waiting for this assbag to ask the boss if we can all meet in the mens room for further discussion.

May I Take Your Order?

2008-05-22T07:44:00.007-05:00

I'm so sick of the fast food industry! I still love me some fast food, but I'm sick of the combo meals and the gallons of soda that come with them. When the combo meals were first introduced it was a wonderful idea. I could get the items I usually ordered together in a fairly priced package by saying a number, grabbing my order, and going on my way. It had normal size fries and normal sized drinks and if I wanted more I could request a Super Size! Soon after the sodas started taking over and they have been growing ever since.

Taco Bell started first, you order the five soft taco combo and the employee would hand you forty ounces of Pepsi. (What am I going to do with this? It's not like I can put it in the fridge for later. This damn thing barely fits in the cup holder.) The other chains followed suit and next thing I know my lunch time ended up like a night at the movies. "Would you like a popcorn the size of Rhode Island for only a quarter more?" "Sure, why not?" Smalls became mediums, mediums became larges, and larges became toddlers. No longer could I have passengers in the truck because the soda was strapped in the safety seat next to me.

From now on I guess I'm stuck ordering small combo meals. The problem with small combo meals is that the drink is what a medium used to be, but the small fries are still small if not smaller.

It's a cruel world.

Fun With the Camera Phone.

2008-05-19T13:53:00.004-05:00

I have one coworker who has so much crap that one person can barely fit into the cubicle which is about 7' x 7'. I am a little messy when it comes to desks but no where near this. My idea of a mess is some random papers in a pile or maybe yesterdays unwashed coffee mug. What's even better is that this co-worker drives a little Prius and that is also loaded up with so much crap that only the driver seat is available. I climbed on the desk of the cube next door to give you the full view:

I also work with a lot of bad fashion. It's hard to pick the worst, but I definitely found the brightest:

To be fair, my son has a bright green polo just like this, but I make sure he wears it with darker pants to dim it down. This guy's color combo is like sun on snow when he's under the florescent lights of the office.

I guess Obama isn't the only elitist this year.

Public Service Announcement

2008-05-16T07:41:00.003-05:00

I want you to go read this posting from Skippy and then come back. I'll be right here waiting for you like Richard Marx. GO! NOW!

I want to echo everything Skippy says. If I have any readers out there who are going through stuff and you don't have anyone to open up to, by all means, open up here. I've seen way too much of this stuff get pushed aside by military members not wanting to appear soft or weak or what ever. It's like Ramshackle Sr. said to me, "A real man isn't afraid to ask for help when he needs it."

I knew a lot of folks when I was on active duty that didn't have family around them like I do, so it can be tough and you may think you're alone, but there are a lot of people out there who want to help; all you have to do is ask.

Debate Your Side

2008-05-15T07:41:00.004-05:00

While I was in the military I had tunnel vision of my beliefs. I was surrounded by a very conservative group and that greatly affected how I viewed the world. We were also restricted from truly speaking our minds, if you agreed with the leadership you could speak up but if you disagreed you had to walk a very fine line in voicing your opinion. Since I'm now free to decide and say what I want I'm taking second looks my beliefs are and how I truly stand. I've also purposely involved myself in political discussions and debates via on-line message boards, I would encourage everyone to do this because you can say you feel strongly about an issue all day long, but when you are forced to defend it you find out if it's real or not. A word of caution: the on-line community is harsh and if you are easily offended, this may not be your best outlet.

In the last election people heavily criticized John Kerry for being a "flip-flopper" and I'm guilty of it too, but the more I thought about it the more I came to see that as a good thing. You have to be careful to not just go with what's popular, but if you take time to do research and find as many facts as you can and then change your opinion on something, I have no problem with that. I was a big supporter of the current administration and I am not ashamed to say that I voted for it twice because that was who I believed represented me at the time. Now that I've done some research and read countless reports and just watched what they've done along the way I am no longer a supporter. With this coming election, John McCain doesn't represent what I believe in, Obama does. End of story. If the next election rolls around and the Republican is the one that I like, well then that's who I'll support.

The point again, folks, is think on your own, do research, listen to all sides, gather facts, and don't blindly follow party lines. The left can be just as dangerous as the right.

Sergeant Hannah Montana's Playboy

2008-05-08T07:34:00.010-05:00

There are a few things on my radar today and they are actually similar in nature so bear with me for a bit and you'll see my point.

First up is this little Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus picture drama. When I look at these photos, and this one, I don't think that they are that bad (then I immediately search the room for Chris Hansen) but, this leads to a few other questions. The first is: did she do anything different than what any other teen does on their MySpace and Facebook pages? That question leads me to this question: have we whored up our teen culture that much that we don't find these alarming anymore? When my generation was sixteen we were horny just like every generation before us, but the difference is that we didn't have the Internet to share our teases. In this light, I don't think they're different in what they're doing, but rather how they do it. We had to wait until no adults were around to see green bras and if we took pictures we had to then wait to get them developed, but then we ran the risk of our parents finding them.

The thing that bothers me most about these photos is the reaction of certain conservative groups who called for her to apologize and wanted her taken off the air. This is nothing more than a few trying to impose their morals on the many; I didn't find them a problem, most people that I talked to didn't care either, and I certainly didn't stop my son from watching her show. This is a problem not limited to teen pop stars however, it has spread all the way to the federal government and we now have something called the Military Honor and Decency Act, this act would, basically, ban the selling of Playboy magazine on the military installations.

What really drew me into this debate were these two blog postings by Skippy, who is against it (1 and 2) and this one from a conservative Army wife named Amy Proctor, who was very much in favor. As a former military member I despise this law, mostly because it seeks to take away some of the few freedoms our troops have and it is, again, trying to impose a select group's morals on the masses.

I don't care if it's Christianity or Miley Cyrus' green underwear, because either way, I am free to decide what offends me and what doesn't and I don't need the government, the media, or the aforementioned groups telling me what to think. If the selling of Playboy in the military stores offends you, well maybe I'm suffering from lung cancer and the selling of cigarettes offends me. Why are you not calling for those to be barred from sale also? At least Playboy doesn't cause cancer; however it may cause blindness!

Whether you are for or against this bill, write to your Representative and let them know. They may not read it, but at least you will have spoken up and not kept your thoughts hidden. If you are for it though, I hope you don't write.

Until next time: Cheers, Beers, and Playboy Bunny Ears!

Endorse This!

2008-04-30T07:09:00.004-05:00

Because I act like an old man I've been falling asleep with the TV on and the sleep timer set. I've learned that even falling asleep with the TV on takes some thought, while the History Channel would put some to sleep in record time, it will actually keep me up, so I put it on the news channels to see what they are telling me to believe today.

Last night I listened to the rantings of Keith Olbermann and others on his show. They were talking about John Edwards not publicly endorsing either Hilldo or Barry-O and my first thought is, "Who flippin' cares?" Are there people out there who are so absent from their own minds that they have to see who is endorsing who before they decide? We have heard countless stories of who celebrities are supporting. I have also read the websites of several bands and who they are supporting. That's nice but, please people...

Think for yourselves!

The best part about not thinking for yourself is that if Governor X endorses Candidate Y there is something in it for X. So Joe Schmoe chillin' on his couch waiting for someone else to tell him how to vote is helping X move up in the world. I've always heard you should watch out for "old number one" but in doing this you are not! Do some reasearch and figure out who best represents what you believe and would do what's best for the country. No candidate is going to get rid of your debt, make you like your job, or fix most of the woes in your life but, if the past eight years have shown anything, they can put the wheels in motion to affect a lot in this country. Who ever you pick, don't do it on a whim!

If you are reading this, you are on a wonderful thing called the internet. Use it to do some research about those running for office from the presidency all the way down to your city council. You will learn about them, why they are there, what they stand for, and maybe where they will want to go. If nothing else you will have bettered yourself and can hold an intelligent conversation on the topic.

Up For Review

2008-04-22T07:42:00.011-05:00

Since I'm giving serious thought to pursuing journalism some day I figured I'd take this opportunity for a concert review. All constructive criticism is welcome.

Last night I took Dad to see the Moody Blues, his favorite band of all time, and, I must say, that I was pleasantly surprised. They played a two hour set that included material spanning their long and illustrious career that sounded well in the acoustics at the Lyric Opera House in Baltimore. The setting was fantastic and they sounded like I imagine they would have in their heyday.

The one thing that could not be overlooked was the crowd; the baby boomer's have all grown up. They moved a little slower, had less hair, and sat more than they stood; this was especially humorous when the band played Are You Sitting Comfortably. It took a few songs before they got the blood flowing but when they did you could feel the energy rise both on stage and off. The aging process was not lost on the Moodys either, with Graeme Edge making a comment that he wrote a song almost 40 years ago when, "my hair was brown and my teeth were white."

The musicianship of the original trio and four supporting musicians was right on par with the dusty vinyl sitting on my shelves. This was proven beyond all doubt on Isn't Life Strange with elaborate guitar solos, a pair of drummers, keyboardists, and a flutist all playing with precision and flawless transitions. The obligatory Nights In White Satin sounded fresh and was played with the raw emotion in which it was originally written. It was, surprisingly, not reserved for the finale, that was instead given to Question and Ride My Seesaw.

Overall the volume was set at a comfortable level, they weren't so loud your ears rang and they weren't so quiet that you couldn't tell what was going on.The sound quality was not with out flaws, however. John Lodge's microphone was a tad low, and when performing some of the lead vocals it became even more obvious. Justin Hayward's guitar had a tendency to overshadow the other instruments at various points too. As the night wound down the sound engineer made the necessary adjustments and toned it down a bit so that it blended with the rest of the band nicely.

Having never been to one of their shows before, I cannot compare it with a performance of the past, but in my own concert experiences this one is high on the list. I can say with all certainty that I would go back and catch their show anytime. The setting, the sound, the people, and the band made a combination that all shows should strive to achieve.

I. Can't. Remember. Dammit!

2008-04-17T11:25:00.005-05:00

Every morning, I have brilliant blog ideas that I plan on sharing with you all when I get to work. However by the time I make it around the beltway, I have completely forgotten what I wanted to write about. This has now happened two days in a row. Maybe I should carry a notebook and write down key words to jog my memory.

Six months! Come on, Harold, it's a hockey season!

2008-04-07T07:45:00.006-05:00

I've been here six months now and things are OK. I've had some ups and downs, but overall I pretty much get paid to do brainless work. Here are some observations of the past six months:

I got a pretty good raise for my evaluations which is hilarious because I do the least amount of work of the three in my office. If someone comes in and needs something fixed, I go try to fix it. If it's something that I cannot fix, I pass it off to someone who has a lot of certifications to mess with. After eight years of "management" it's nice not to deal with it. In A Few Good Men, Lieutenant Weinberg has a line that he repeats a few times, "I have no real responsibility here, what so ever." I couldn't agree more!

So far there is only one person who really appreciates the sarcasm of yours truly. I guess it's better than none. Most around here smile and chuckle awkwardly when I make a crack about something.

I drink a lot of water and coffee which means I pee a lot. Just about every time I'm in there, I notice two things, blatant disregard for Men's Room Etiquette and the same pair of shoes showing from under the stall. That's a lot of poopin' for one day!

United States of Hypocrisy

2008-03-18T08:05:00.004-05:00

Let me start by saying I don't really care about Elliot Spitzer, he was New York's Governor, not Maryland and he wasn't responsible for paying bills in the House of Adam.

What irritates me about this whole situation is the contradictory fashion in which the elected officials operate. There are an abundance of anti-gay Congressional members who are caught up in homosexual scandals. Now we have a guy who campaigned to bust up prostitution who sure enough got brought down for buying a hooker.

There is another thing that really irks me about this. Why isn't prostitution legal? Just think of how many more tax payers we'll get to help pay for Iraq! If people want to buy them selves some sex, they're going to do it anyway so why not reap the rewards? Just think about it like this: You go to your nearest downtown corner, spot the hooker you want, ask her to lift her skirt, and if she has the U.S. Seal of Approval across her girl parts (think: tops of booze bottles) then you're all set to have some good, clean, legal sex! After you take her back to the corner she heads off to the physician to get checked out and have her seal replaced for the next "John". Disease free romps and a new group of tax payers; everyone wins. We could tell the troops that many women in America are down on they're knees for you tonight, and some of them are in prayer.

Of course, I'm willing to bet that the senators and representatives from Nevada would throw a fit because no one would have to go to Reno anymore.

Speaking of which, if I ever go to congress, my argument for the legalization would be both the tax base and the fact that over half the room uses them anyway; the rest are thinking about it.

Hightlight Reel

2008-03-07T08:36:00.005-05:00

I don't really have anything good to write about. Not too much has been going on. So, let's go to the film!

- I joined a bowling league. This sounds rather strange, but I've bowled since I was a little kid and I rather enjoy doing it. Once a week, on Wednesday to be precise, I am forced to get out of my house and I also get a few hours off from parenting. I'm not great, but I'm not bad so it's a good time overall. The biggest problem is that people like to try and give you advice on your game. They mean no harm and they do it out of their love for the game, but it tends to just simply confuse you and you end up looking goofy.

- Most of you know that I have heavily contemplated walking away from the IT field and going back to school for something else. I really see this happening sometime in the near future. This is another area where people may mean well, but really they just rain on your parade. I have in my head a few career options and a lot of people feel the need to tell me how horrible my choices are. To that I say, "Thanks, but are you me?" I know what I'm doing and if it doesn't work out then I will move on and try again. There is no law that says we have to do one thing and do it for the rest of our lives. If my career choice is so bad, I'll find out. I know there's money in the IT field and I love having money, but the bottom line is that I hate it and I don't want to do it. Go read In It But Not Of It this guy went o law school and didn't become a lawyer. The best part is all the lawyers I know like there careers, but agree with what he did.

- I am convinced that Quentin is deaf. That boy doesn't listen! Oh he's hearing me, but he ain't listening to me. "Did you pick up your room?" "Oh, no Dad. I forgot." I told him 30 times to pick up his room one night. I think Bill Cosby was right when he said, "Children have brain damage."

- We have some soft people in my office. They are the epitome of what I like to call Telephone Tough Guys. They will talk a good game when no one is looking, but when one of the bosses are around, they fold like a lawn chair. Now I don't pick fights, but I stand up for my self and I don't accept people talking down to me. I tell people what I think but I do it in a way that is not disrespectful. That is the one thing that I learned from my time as a Military Police Officer, all the people I issued tickets to outranked me by a lot and it was my job to tell them they were wrong but I had to do it in a way that they could not honestly tell someone that I disrespected them. It's a fine line to walk but when you walk it people tend to respect you more.

- I've become pretty valued and respected here in the office and I've done it all only working the required eight hours a day. I actually don't understand how people don't get work done in this amount of time. I get it done, done right, and have time to chill on GMail. My child may be brain damaged, but he gets as much of my time as I can give him.

Perhaps the strangest thing to happen:
- I got a phone call from a lady identifying herself as Mrs. Coworker. I have met her once, but, OK, I'll play along. She starts asking me about e-mails that I supposedly sent Mr Coworker that were, "sexually suggestive". Now before you go questioning my manhood, they came from Ms Coworker's account. (So you have this straight: single female coworker, married male coworker, and married male coworker's wife.) The gerbil in my head jumped on his wheel, the lights started to get brighter, and I was able to piece together her hysterics. This guy and the single coworker were talking dirty via e-mail. The wife found out and confronted him, he then said it was me who got into the single lady's e-mail account and was playing a practical joke on him. (Error 404: Humor Not Found. If I'm going to play a practical joke, I'm going to put glue on your keyboard, not waste my time of hacking someones e-mail account to send you naughty messages. That's lame!) He picked the wrong dude for his cover, I don't support that crap. So I told the wife that I wasn't involved and she should talk to her husband again. I expected some sort of confrontation on Monday morning only to be greeted by the sound of silence. He never mentioned it and I never did either. Maybe he realized that he picked a bad cover and that'll be it.

Modern Or Classic

2008-02-23T13:59:00.005-05:00

As some of you know I acquired my parent's record collection recently. I am now the proud owner of records that span from the late 60's to the late 80's; that's when we got our first CD player. I remember these albums growing up and they are very special to me. When I listen to them now they take me back to my childhood when Dad and (mostly) Mom would play them and it feels like I'm a little kid in the front room of the house again. I'm also introducing Quentin to a whole new generation of music as my family had done for me, so now my hope is that this music will hold a place for him as well.

Now on to more important issues! Talking to Dad the other night, I was sharing my joy at playing the records and how my TV watching has dropped since I stared spinning them; I still break for hockey though. I also told him that I wanted to buy more of them because there is just a different feeling when you play a record versus other forms of media. He sounded a little puzzled and said, "Why not just buy them on CD or via iTunes?" A valid question if you ask me, so I stated like any other vinyl snob that it sounded better on vinyl; Dad said he wasn't so sure about that. So I set out to test this theory and this morning I did! I donned my Sony headphones and found all of the CD's that I also have on record and lined them up. My control group was Billy Joel, The Clash, and The Beatles. A varied group and also varied ages for extra reliability in the results.

I started by playing one song on record and then again on CD but I only noticed minor differences. I then decided that I would cue them at the same time and switch back and forth to see if I notice the difference. This method worked the best and I can finally say that I have settled which is better. The answer is: they're the same. There are differences so minor that they should hardly even be talked about. The biggest thing is the volume; CD's tend to be a little bit louder. Other than that the most common thing was that CD's tend to have a little more of a "treble" sound while the records lean toward a more "bass" sound; this is the "warm" sound that vinyl affectionados point to.

In my opinion, however, I still prefer the record for listening and the CD for reliability. Why? Well the record doesn't bring on a feeling of ear fatigue. When music is recorded now, it is cranked up so high that our ears notice even if we don't initially; this is the biggest complaint of MP3's also. Records have a softer smoother sound, even with their hisses and pops. Records don't seem as distant as CD's, they seem to be closest to the real thing as you can get.

I'm no scientist of sound, but that is my very uneducated observation.

Why Is It

2008-02-14T09:31:00.004-05:00

That I can roll around bed all night, never getting comfortable, never getting quality sleep, until the alarm is five minutes away from going off. Then, and only then, do I find comfort and peace...just in time to get up!

Frame of Mind

2008-02-11T12:57:00.000-05:00

For random readers todays entry will make no sense. To the regulars, you'll figure it out pretty quick I'm sure. Also I'm going to throw out the warning that today's entry is pretty emotional and I will proceed to wash the sand out of my pants and get back to bitching about work as soon as I'm done typing. I have decided not to allow comments on this posting. These are my thoughts and comments will just accelerate arguments I wish to alleviate.

When someone meddles in others lives they may get a little upset, especially when it's uninvited. To then turn around and be shocked that you received some backlash is a very juvenile frame of thought. Maybe you should stand on your porch and look in your own front door before you look in someone else's window. Not once, unless I was asked, did I tell anyone how to live their life. I understand they may have been trying to stand up for someone, but they should also be open to both sides of the argument. I'm not free of blame, but I will not accept all of it either. This argument was not new, it just became a big deal when everyone else felt they had to be part of it.

Why do people feel as if they know your thoughts? Why are they so quick to pass judgment on you when all you were trying to do was be honest? I don't look at myself as a hurtful person and I find no joy in hurting people. I have tried to pretend to be an asshole in the past, but when I found people not liking me, I found it hurt more than I could stand. I want to be liked by everyone and if they don't I don't want the reason to be that I am a mean person. If someone wants my opinion, I will give them the truth and I will not just say what they want to hear. Everyone can rest assured that I don't pass judgment, I let people lead their lives and make their mistakes. I never blame people for their mistakes until they make them repeatedly. You have to learn something from them.

I made a mistake and from it I learned that there is no good day to break some bad news and even when it is unintentional, that same bad news can hurt someone. I am sorry that I hurt someone. But I will say it again, and for the last time, my intention was not to hurt, my intention was to be honest. I wish that they could stop for a second and look at it from my prospective. Should I have continue to hide how I truly feel or should I be honest so we can deal with the hurt and maybe salvage any possible friendship?If you feel that no friendship can be had, than please, feel free to move along with your lives and not make me feel bad and I will do the same for you. I have enough respect to grant you that much. I would hope they would have the same respect for me.

I like to think of myself as a good person and I like to think of myself as a good role model for my son. I have not and will not have screwing with peoples emotions as part of my enjoyment routine. I wish nothing but happiness for everyone, even those that have done me wrong. Life is too short to hold grudges, I am guilty of holding a couple though; it happens to the best of us. I want to be accepted and liked by all, but I will not compromise my integrity to gain that acceptance either.

One final note; this was not directed at anyone in particular, but instead it was directed at several of them. These are my final thoughts on what happened. I will only discuss what will happen in the future. If you would like to discuss the future, you know where to find me. I've never tried to hide.

A-Praise Adam!

2008-02-04T15:13:00.000-05:00

I just received an e-mail from Boss-Number-One telling me that I have to fill out an Employee Self Appraisal. All I can say is, "What the hell is this shit?" How can you honestly ask the employee to rate the job s/he's done? If corporate reads these things do they really take them seriously? I think even a nun would make her self look like Employee of the Year on these things.

It comes complete with prefabricated questions to answer:

1. Briefly describe duties and responsibilities during the performance period. Include proposal and marketing efforts.

2. Describe significant accomplishments, achievements, and disappointments.

3. Describe views on development needs and goals for the upcoming performance period. Include work, education and training objectives.

It's like my theory on steroids in baseball. If everyone is juicing, you have essentially made everyone equal again, so there is no point. So with all of us bull shitting our way through these appraisals I'd like to think that maybe they can see what kind of people they have on their payroll, but I doubt it. I think when you make a certain salary you lose all touch with reality and common sense. You then start speaking in buzz words and find thing that you think are motivators, but really they just make you look stupid.

Work To My Advantage

2008-02-03T11:25:00.000-05:00

If you are on my Gmail IM list you noticed that my status was "Loves Bad Reviews" you also know the reason, but for the other people, who aren't my mom, who read this allow me to tell you about my wonderful work place for a moment!

Last Friday the IT shop received our weekly reviews from the students and teachers. Normally we get a cheap shot or two because we couldn't recover data for someone who never bothered to save it in the first place or I didn't navigate away from the aforementioned Gmail IM to be at their desk as soon as they hung up the phone, it's never too big of a deal. This class however has the perception is that we don't do much and we have been verbally abused the last couple weeks.

Some of the reasons for this are that we are a small shop and we have to prioritize our tasks. The other guys do it based on severity of the problem and your position on the food chain. I prioritize based on how nice you are to me and if your a woman, that breaks down again as to how hot you are. We also have the ability to fix problems through something called Remote Desktop. This program allows me to log into any computer on our network with out leaving my cube! Lazy IT nerds created this program for other lazy IT nerds because they don't want to have to leave World of Warcraft for too long. I have no problem saying that I'm lazy and I also hate being lazy but I want to not be lazy on my own terms (playing golf, hockey, guitar, etc.).

So incredibly long story just a tad longer, the director bitched to the lead contractor, who bitched to the assistant lead contractor, who bitched to the IT manager, who bitched to us. See how unnecessarily long that chain is? The end result is that we have to make more of an effort to go out and help the masses face to face. I don't have too much problem with that, it just means more "BRB" on Gmail. The real kicker though is this: we have to turn in daily reports on what we did that day. This is absurd because we already have a web based trouble ticket system that a drunk monkey could figure out how to use (it uses small words). This system has all the required information that would be in this daily report that I now have to type. Information like, time, date, problem, etc. So now I'm duplicating what is already recorded. Did I lose you yet?

When I discussed this with CJ, via Gmail IM of course, I decided to make things up.

-IMing with friends would be Remote Office Communications Assistance
-Going to take a leak would be Server File Transfer
-Getting lunch is now Installing Virus Protection
-If I have a lunch that makes me constipated and I spend some time on the can it will be known as Mail Server Back Up. If it's a Mexican or Chinese food day it's, of course, a Complete Data Dump and System Recovery (hopefully I'll recover anyway).

Pizza, Beer, and the Web

2008-01-31T16:04:00.000-05:00

As I sit here trying to kill the last 15 minuets of work (It should be half an hour, but in my world 15 minutes is just as good, as long as it benefits me by coming in late or leaving early.) I have been subjected to the conversation of two nerds. They are discussing web development and the software that is involved with it and I couldn't care less. I wouldn't want to do this crap on my own free time. It's like the time I served pizza at the Pimlico race track, I looked at pizza all day and by the end of my shift I smelled like a giant slice of pepperoni special. Because of that I couldn't go near a pizza for the next two weeks. The strange part is that I also served beer, but I happily drank that when I got home, so maybe there is something to these guys doing web design while sitting in their parents basements talking to their on-line girlfriends.

Moody Blues

2008-01-31T08:51:00.000-05:00

I'm in a bit of a mood today and I don't know why. It's a weird mood, I'm angry with out being mad; I'm tired, but don't want to sleep, I hate people, but I want to be social. I have been in a rut lately though. I'm just so stressed about being grown up and a single parent that I just want to run and hide.

A big problem is that I am used to be being a single parent but, more challenges have presented themselves since Quentin started school. He now has a lot more to do when he gets home, we have homework, projects, reading, and other school stuff. (It really is amazing what these kids are doing at such a young age. I remember kindergarten as another play land with occasional writing.) We also have to somehow get dinner and shower time in there too. Lately I find myself wanting to just want to plop my ass down on the couch and watch television or read my Rolling Stone.

Before he started school, he came home and played while I cooked. We would eat and then play followed by shower and a reading a little bit of some book before bed. I had an easier time balancing time and effort. I also wasn't constantly worn out and that is something is really bothering me. I don't know if my work inactivity or what, but I'm so fatigued when I get home. I had a job a few years ago that was very stationary and I remember the same problems. I had a job after that one and before this one that kept me moving all day and that carried over to the home front. I'm going to go out on a scientific limb here and guess that my desk job and my active job caused these two attitudes at home.

So, fair readers, I'm going to guess it's time for me to start figuring out a new career path. I hate being lazy and that is all that is going to come out of this.

Life According To MySpace

2008-01-20T12:03:00.000-05:00

You cannot add yourself as a friend.

Parting Shots To The Marine Corps Part 2

2008-01-14T21:38:00.000-05:00

It's been four months since I said goodbye to the Marine Corps and all is still well.

I just saw the commercial that lists all the names that Marines are called while showing images of Marines doing what Marines do and I absolutely adore that add. It is by far the best one that they have come up with. It's real. There isn't any slaying of dragons, no climbing up rock walls freehand, or playing chess ala Harry Potter. The tone is somber but also proud. If I could be in charge of advertising, it's exactly the add I would push to the masses. I can honestly say that I feel proud to have been one of them when ever I see it. I'm not a big on text messaging but I sent my good friend Rick a Happy Birthday message on November 10th (the Marine Corps' birthday) and the reply I got summed it all up for me, "You too. Once, always."

As for my daily life: I have taken a job here in Baltimore and have tossed around the idea of the reserves, but ultimately, I decided against it. I loved what I did and the time that I spent, but I'm done. I was proud of my time and I can walk away with my head high about the experience. I accomplished everything that I set out to do and then some more. The one thing that I am most proud of was that on my Fitness Report the highest mark I received was for taking care of subordinates. Nothing brought me more joy than helping junior Marines. It was a way to carry on what my seniors taught to me when I was a junior.

I worked for a Sergeant for the first two years of my enlistment who embodied everything that I wanted to be and I will never forget him, even if I never see him again. If I have one person who remembers me that same way, than my eight years were well spent. To know that I touched someones life is something that no words of mine can convey how much it means to me.

Here is the add that I really like plus one more that really says something. The best part of the second one, is right after "For Courage" there is a girl jumping over an obstacle and she has been jumping that same obstacle since I enlisted. I've seen her in that some pose for eight plus years now. If she was active duty she's probably a Master Sergeant by now. Of course these adds don't show me sitting at my computer going blind from staring at the monitor for 12 hours, but I digress...

F This!

2008-01-14T20:41:00.000-05:00

While sitting around watching the Penguins beat the Rangers I decided to do a Google search for "Fuck This" the number one result was "Fuck This Website". There you can buy stickers and submit creative photos using the stickers. I must say that these picture made me laugh and I need a good laugh here and there. I encourage you to have yourself a good laugh and click "thisway" or "thatway" under the "F" and enjoy!

I Wasn't Hired For My Disposition

2008-01-10T22:04:00.000-05:00

For the last couple of days we've had major problems with our computer hardware at the workplace and during which I realized a few things about my job and me:

1. I spent the month of September sitting on my ass watching game shows, sports, and movie channels and I really miss that month.

2. When it came to the workplace the biggest thing is that I am not a "people person". I'm a very social person, but in the corporate setting I'd rather be left alone and I'll touch on that in a moment.

3. The best part of the last few days was that my e-mail was out and that makes me very happy because I hate e-mail. So it was a perfect Adam day because there was no Microsoft Office Assistant asking me if I want to read the stupid corporate e-mail that came through.

(Note: I hate e-mail because of the military. I used to get the same e-mail at least three times. It would start with the Commanding Officer who would send it to everyone that word is key. Then my lieutenant would send it around to his department, then my Master Sergeant would send it to his Sergeants and I was then expected to re-forward it to my peons. I of course would tell everyone that they wasted computer resources and that precious government dollar by clogging our mail servers with 55 copies of the same piece of mail. I even tried to put on my evaluation that I "Saved the government uncountable amounts of money by cutting e-mail traffic by 75%" they where not amused.)

The part of the day that finally made me stress at work was the damn phone. It didn't stop ringing. I actually wanted to go outside and have a cigarette because the phone calls where pissing me off so much; I don't even carry smokes to work anymore. South Park once told me that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who ask questions. That statement has never really hit home before today. I'll give you a sample of a few of my phone interactions. The first ones were polite and I explained that we have some problems but we are working to resolve it and I will spread the word when all is well. The phone calls after that got a little worse because my mouth works faster than my mind sometimes.

Them: Do the printers work?
Me: Not yet, I'm working on it though.
Them: How about e-mail?
Me: Did you try it?
Them: Yeah it didn't work.
Me: Guess it's still out.

Them: When are the printers going to work? What's wrong with them?
Me: I don't know what's wrong yet and if I knew that I would tell you so you wouldn't call anymore.
Them: Well what am I supposed to do? I have a class to teach!
Me: I don't know I can't make these decisions for you.
Them: :slamming phone:
Me: Your welcome

Them: Does anything work.
Me: Not yet
Them: Why not?
Me: I have to keep stopping because the phone continues to ring
Them: That's real helpful (sarcastic tone) :phone slam part two:
I was told that I should try to be more polite.

House Cleaning

2008-01-10T08:37:00.000-05:00

First up is the name change.The Dreaming Tree invoked some sort of artistic thing and this has really moved away from that. I tried the poet thing and that didn't work out too well and lately I've just had a whole lot of rants and observations of the world and parenthood. Besides, I think I've found my artistic niche with photography.

Now the meaning of the name. Ramshackle is defined as appearing ready to collapse and carelessly or loosely constructed. My days have all been pretty Ramshackle and the hits just keep on coming, so there is your Parade part. That is about how I feel with my parental responsibilities and the entry to the real world along with trying to figure out what I want to do while I'm a part of it; plus, In It But Not Of It was already taken.

So with that in mind, if you have my site linked from your page would you do me the favor of updating the name? K Thanx!

Hit the Links

2008-01-08T10:35:00.000-05:00

Instead of my writings I want to share three sites with you (just click on the word "Number"):

Number 1 is my new photo site. I've put the big boy camera to work and posted the photos for all to see. I've put the link under the "Suggested Viewing" section of this page too. There will probably be more updates to that site than this one, so check often!

Number 2 is an essay from Ben Stein about the elections and change. I've had these same thoughts since the "political circus" started touring last year, but I wasn't too sure how to articulate them so I'll let Ben do it for me.

Number 3 is a tough one. This was written by an Army officer who was also a blogger. He's quite the nerd and quotes Babylon 5 a lot, but it works. There is a little preamble that explains a lot so I won't beat it up here. I'll just say that you should read every word, read it slowly, and reflect on what he wrote. It's powerful stuff. It wouldn't hurt to read it a few times either.

Observations

2007-12-31T14:16:00.000-05:00

Today is an extremely slow day and I've decided to list somethings I've noticed today.

- Nothing says, "I don't give a shit about you" as in calling you by the wrong name. Not forgetting someones name; I do that all the time, but to actually make up names. The deputy director of the office just called me Todd. Now he has also in the past called me Allen and Aaron; at least those are close to my real name of Adam. Instead of trying to correct the man, I've decided to see how many names he'll come up with. I've advised my coworkers of this and they agreed to not correct him. The only thing that will top this would be to see the embarrassment on his face when the director, who knows my name, corrects him. Maybe I should see if she'd be willing to get in on the action. I could make a chart of names and have people pick, like the Super Bowl pools that ask you to pick the score.

- Going back and re-reading a lot of this blog (I still hate that word) has made me realize what an accurate portrait of my life this is. It covers whatever emotion I'm feeling. My emotions vary and so do the posts.

- I bought new shoes Saturday and I'm wearing them for the first time today, when I walk around the office I find my self watching my new shoes and looking at myself in the full length mirror in the bathroom. They have more of a square toe and I'm hoping that doesn't make me one of the tools I usually make fun of.

- I'm pretty much alone in the office today and I've discovered how good my computer speakers actually are. I've finally been able to crank up the tunes a little bit. So far I've enjoyed John Mayer's Continuum, The Decemberists' Castaways and Cutouts and The Crane Wife, The Essential Billy Joel (Disc One and Two), and right now Ani DiFranco's Knuckle Down. This has truly been a wonderful day for music. My coworker, who isn't here, is the type that if it isn't early Metallica or Slayer, it sucks. So, to be able to crank a little Ani and not hear groans is a treat!

- I need to buy brown socks. For the first time in my life I own brown shoes and I was made aware of the fashion faux pas of wearing black socks with brown shoes. Of course this was after we had sat down in a restaurant and there was no going home to change shoes. I'm not wearing the brown ones today, I learned my lesson and I'm waiting until brown socks arrive before i try that again!

Bundle O' Anger

2007-12-31T08:55:00.001-05:00

I found out that my ex wife recently had her baby. I found this out via MySpace and I think I'm beginning to hate that site more and more; first Lady Red's disappointment in aging and now my ex's procreation. There are two things that bother me about this whole situation. One is that I nor Little Man have heard from Ex in about a year. I've gotten random e-mails offering various excuses as to why our phone hasn't rang, but it doesn't make it any better. Now I want to throw this out there for future reference, please don't call me or e-mail me and tell me what a horrible person Ex is. It will not make me feel better and it will not change my parenting situation. It will do no good what so ever, and, to quote Pulp Fiction, "...I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger..." I probably won't bother with the vengeance and anger, but I will be a wee bit upset.

The second thing that bothers me is the overwhelming support offered to Ex by her so called friends. When she posted the message saying the the baby has come into the world there were many messages of congratulations, as is to be expected, but who these messages were from is what has the sand in my panties exceptionally course this time. These are the same people that when Ex left the marriage used to tell me what a horrible person she was and that she should proceed to the nearest bridge and jump. Why were they saying these things to me? Did they want to get me spun up so I would start running my mouth and then they could go back to Ex and tell her what I said? If this is the case they get the biggest Fuck You I have ever issued in my 27 years of existence. That is one of the shadiest things I could ever think of doing to someone. If they wanted to continue to be friends with Ex, that's fine, just don't put us in a room together and don't put one side against the other. They called themselves friends to me and would start bad mouthing her and I usually put a stop to it pretty quickly and moved on with my day, I'm wondering if they were doing the same thing to her.

Being that I have this page linked and some of these so called friends may happen to stop by I'm going to address them for the remainder of this entry. For the rest of you, just sit back and enjoy this like you would an episode of Maury or Jerry.

Dear False Friends,

For the years after my divorce you took me into your homes and I took you into mine. We drank together, laughed together, took trips together, and let our children play together. I went to you in times of need and you came to me in times of need. Why then would you turn on me and stop talking to me? Is it because I didn't give you the reactions that you wanted? Is it because I saw through your bullshit and fake smiles? At first you had me fooled but I caught on and in doing this did I scare you? If so, good. See what you all failed to realize is that Ex and I had a good relationship for a few years and while you were thinking that you where getting over on me, I was in fact, were getting over on you. I have dirt on each and every one of you. Things that you told her because you didn't want to tell me because you thought she was the better friend, she told me.

You all were so quick to criticize my marriage and my ex-wife but before you laugh and snicker at me maybe you should look in your own front door. The man who you cheated on your husband with, yeah the one that your not supposed to talk to anymore but do anyway. Good luck with that. Hope your husband isn't as blind as I was. And you, the one who still sends pictures and messages to that other woman, I know all about those. I also can't forget the one who was bed hopping like she was getting paid, you and your man are not immune either. Also there is the subliminal one. Based on your looks I wish I would have done what I wanted to, but looking at the way you played me and your little family, I'm glad I didn't.

The point here kids, is that you don't want to fuck with me, I don't run to Illinois and hide at my parents house. I play by different rules and I'll hurt your feelings. When I moved here you all said how much you liked having me around and how you hate to see me go. I'll admit that I bought it, but until recently I didn't see what you all were doing.

In light of all of this, there is one thing that I should mention. I am a forgiver and I am not a grudge holder. I can honestly say there is only one person in this world who I will never forgive and you all are not him. So, my number hasn't changed , my e-mail works, and Interstate 95 runs both ways, but I will not make the first move; the rest is up to you. I hope you have a long look at yourselves and realize what you did to me and my son and realize that I will not let it happen twice.

Absolute Liberation

2007-12-29T11:17:00.001-05:00

Do you have some stress at the moment? There is relief! All you have to do is play this song and dance freely with arms waving and legs kicking in whatever room you are in. You will feel no stress, sadness, or any of the pressures and pain of the world for three minutes and 43 seconds. How do I know this? Because I just did it. I used the song provided, but please, feel free to use your own. This one always works for me though because it just begs to be danced to. The true trick here is to not think about how funny you may look, because no one is watching. Just feel the music and move how your body wants to. Now you have one of my secrets to keeping a relatively stress free existence.

The Twelfth Month

2007-12-28T09:41:00.000-05:00

I realized that it's been a hot minute since I've given you all any useful information regarding my life. I don't really have a good reason for this I'm not so sorry to say, I just didn't feel like writing. It's the month of December, so that means my birthday has come and gone, Christmas has just passed, and New Years Eve is next week. I suppose I can take each of those days and give you the scoop and maybe something interesting would have come out of that.

My birthday was a pretty low key event. A group met at an Irish bar in Fells Point for dinner. It was very tasty and a pleasant atmosphere to be in. We left there and headed to another bar in the area that had every sort of beer imaginable. I didn't know what to get so I looked at the bartender and said, "Give me something Canadian." This was met with a very disgusted huff and a face that said, "Please step out of the bar and let a truck run over your ass." Now I figured that I left this pretty wide open, something Canadian, it could be a Molson, Labatt's, or even a Moosehead Lager. Either way, I got my over priced Labatt and headed back to the group. We started playing pool and that brought out all of the Paul Newman wannabes in the bar so that didn't last long. When I went back to the bar I flirted with a little blond girl just to make sure that I still have some game, she seemed to soak it up but her boyfriend/husband didn't seem to find it nearly as amusing; fuck him! I made it to bed around 5:00 AM and woke up around 10:00 AM I think, whatever it was it was too early.

Christmas was uneventful. I spent it at Dad's like usual. I got a digital SLR so as soon as I learn how to use it maybe I'll start a photo blog. I left Quentin with the parents so I can go out and enjoy myself a little bit. When I used to be childless I would basically go on a bender, but now all I want to do is sleep. It sure does suck feeling like I'm older than I actually am.

No one can make up their mind on what we're doing for New Years Eve. Last couple have been spent on my couch so I'm ready to go out. There are those $100 open bar things, but the real question is, would I drink a $100 bar tab? Absolutely not! If I end up at a local corner bar, that's fine with me. I just want to be around people; I'm a social person and I want to be social, damn it! Maybe I'll see Blondie and I can piss off her boyfriend again.

Don't Call Me Ishmael

2007-11-21T08:20:00.000-05:00

Let me preface this by apologizing to the ex-girls who read this. This is no way a shot at you, just the opinion of yours truly. You are all beautiful women, and I can say this with confidence because, I like to think that other than a few "low" points, I have above average standards on those I consider to be "easy on the eyes".

In this world of MySpace and Facebook and a bunch of other social sites we are able to find some old friends and maybe form some new connections with friends of friends and so on. It can be great but there is a darker side to all this reconnecting. Allow me to give you, Gentle Reader, an example of this dark side.

A few nights ago I was killing some time cruising the Space and I came across the profile of a certain girl that I was involved with in my high school years who, in my somewhat humble opinion, was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Even though the face had aged I knew it was her right off the bat, but something was amiss! This was not the girl that used to make all my high school friends envious, she had changed, a lot and, I dare say, it was for the worse.

Is this superficial of me? You bet! Am I somewhat wrong for thinking like this? Absolutely! But I think we all need a White Whale. I've never compared a woman to a whale and meant it to be a good thing, but I digress. What I mean by White Whale is I looked at this girl as perfect and I imagined that she continued to be the perfect woman 10 years later. I come to find out that she wasn't and for some reason I can't stop thinking about it.

Is it because somethings are better left to mystery? Is it because we remember things to be better than they actually where? When I was living in Norfolk, I enjoyed it, but I also thought about leaving and not looking back. When I didn't get to leave on my own terms and was forced to Baltimore I decided that the streets of Norfolk were paved in gold. The streets of Baltimore, the same city that at one point in my life I said that I wouldn't mind living in, were paved in mercury and you would be poisoned as soon as you touched them.

When the Girl and I split it was the days before every house and desk had a computer with internet access, including my own. It was also before everyone had a cell phone attached to their pocket. I was carrying around a pager in those days and I thought I was on the cutting edge of telecommunications technology. Anyway, her parents decided to move somewhere and because of the aforementioned reasons we just lost contact, that's what you did then. You didn't call long distance on your parents dime so there was no phone calls. We were learning how to use AOL and honestly, what teenager takes time to write a letter. Sure we kept it up for a little bit, but that faded fast. So ever since, in the back of my mind I had an image of this girl who grew into this beautiful woman and just knowing that she was out there kept some sort of mysterious aura about her. I then come across a picture of a girl that I may say hello to in a bar, but I wouldn't necessarily try to pick up. I used the phrase White Whale, and to amplify that point this is like Captain Ahab finding out that Moby Dick washed up on Myrtle Beach last Wednesday. There is nothing in the sea that fascinates him anymore. The positive side to all this: at least this whale didn't kill me like Ahab's did.

The Freaks Come Out At Night!

2007-11-20T22:59:00.000-05:00

What the hell is wrong with This Picture? Have we become such a cowardly nation that we now deem this show dangerous? My generation came up with it and I think we're doing alright. We are living in such a culture of fear that it completely baffles me. Don't go into the city, because black people will rape and pillage you! Don't leave your door unlocked because crack addicts will break in and steal you! Don't let your kids play out side because the pedophiles and molest them. Don't let gay people get married because they will ruin it for the 40% of the straight couples that actually work out.

How is it we got to this point? Is this something that every generation has gone through? Is it our parental instinct to protect our children and in doing that we have just escalated to the point that we are currently? I, unfortunately, don't have these answers, but if I did I would fix the world!

By the way, as I'm typing this, goddamn teenagers are outside. Why aren't they at home? Don't they know it's dangerous out there at night?

2007-11-19T12:17:00.000-05:00

A surreal moment is hearing your ex-girlfriend say she is going back to prison...more on this later, maybe.

I've Got This Idea

2007-11-16T23:55:00.000-05:00

I'm here in the living room watching a little late night television and I just saw a very corny commercial with some sort of four piece band that was playing and singing one of the worst jingles I've ever heard. My first reaction to this was that I couldn't believe how horrible this song was. I then got to thinking that I can not imagine the executives of this company sitting in a board room with the big polished wood table with probably 12 or so chairs around it. The glass pitcher and crystal glasses of water that no one ever seems to drink from were stationed in the middle of this table on a faux silver platter. There are doilies under the cups that are there to act like coasters so that no one leaves rings on the polished table should they decide to drink from the unknown source water.

At one end of the room are a few young men in suits who have a laptop hooked up to a projector that is shining onto a screen. They are young and enthusiastic and are doing their best to close this deal and get some steak with a side of beer before they head back to Chicago. The eager young men start to perform this very tacky and off key rendition of the proposed song with a sense that this is going to fail. This song has been written once on their way to Manhattan. They didn't bother to revise it because they stayed up late trying to soak up the New York scene. They may have even gone to a Rangers game and drank a little too much and got up a little too early. Nevertheless here they are, Chicago's favorite sons, ready to land this big deal and get back to the Windy City in time for their girlfriend's dinner party.

They start the song, which they know is horrible, and a strange thing happens. The executives don't throw them to their pink slips in Chicago, instead they nod their heads, tap their feet, snap their fingers, and the CEO stands up and yells, "That's it! We've found it, the song of XYZ Company!" I hope that doesn't happen, but I have a feeling that I'm closer to the truth than I want to be.

Now there is one more quick thought that follows the previous James Michener type thought is that the most annoying thing is also the most memorable, may that is the true reason these things are the way they are. I've been typing this little story for about half an hour now and the song is still stuck in my head.

Now could you imagine being the band who is so down on their luck that this commercial and this song are a good option? We'll revisit this thought later, Gentle Reader; I've taken enough of your time. Good night!

Big City of Dreams

2007-11-15T10:09:00.000-05:00

I checked another thing off my life list this past weekend! I finally made it to New York City. As a native New Yorker I have been taking crap almost all my life for never actually going to the City. It's not that I was avoiding the place, I just never had a reason to go and I always wanted to go so when the opportunity came up I jumped on it. As Gentle Readers know, I love the city life and they don't get any bigger than that so the thought of actually having a New York apartment is even more appealing now that I've seen the place first hand. I keep thinking about Life's Little Instruction Book that said, "Live in New York once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in San Francisco once, but leave before it makes you soft." I read that once when I was in my later teen years and have held on to that statement ever since.

I didn't get to see everything that I wanted, but I saw the three things that I needed to, Strawberry Fields in Central Park, the Dakota building (where John Lennon was shot), and the Trade Center site. The first two I wanted to see for my birthday reasons. The Trade Center was something else though. I took no pictures, I said no words, I just stood and watched. It was strange to think about what happened on that day, I remember watching it unfold on a television set in my North Carolina barracks room and to stand there a few years later almost gives you a sense of the world that was and the world that is. I'm sure that the only thing that compares to it is for someone from my grandparents generation to see Pearl Harbor. I've been to the Pentagon since then and it kicks up emotion, but it was also rebuilt the way it was and people are back in those offices working again so it almost has a different feeling. I'm sure that when the Trade Center site is rebuilt it will have a different feel as well but as a whole, to think about the events of those sites and how they changed life for us as a country is amazing. We each have individual things that change our own life, but those things changed us as a group and that is a powerful thing. Thinking about the Joe Schmoes that were just going to work like normal and the police officers and fire fighters that were running in while the others were running out gets one a little choked up when you're standing on that sight.

A few months before I got out of the Marines a few NYPD recruiters came to a job fair on base and I thought about doing it for a few minutes. A police officer is something that was on my "I Wouldn't Mind Doing That" list. The "IWMDT" is is a list of careers that I've made that statement about and given some sort of thought about doing at some point in my life. The only problem with that list is that most of the stuff on it doesn't pay very well and that is a hot topic in my life as a single parent. Also time management is a pretty high priority too and the police department wouldn't offer much of that. Either way, it's still on the list and being in the city highlighted those things again. I doubt it will ever happen, but someone took out a neon yellow highlighter and took it to some things on that list. Now that I'm out of the military and have all this new found freedom to go which ever route I choose I find myself constantly wondering what I want to be when I grow up and it's just as scary and appealing as it was when I was 17.

The System Is Down

2007-11-03T20:05:00.000-05:00

I hate computers! Not only do I have to mess with these pieces of crap all week at work, but then I get to come home and mess with mine. I've got some sort of spy ware that causes inhumane amounts of pop ups; I just had to close one out as I tried to type this sentence. What makes it worse is that it is one of those spy ware programs that all four of my "security" stuff can not find or delete. In order to get this thing gone I've got to get so far down in the computer files that I very well could fry this thing for good. Wish me luck! Oh yeah, I've also got a laptop that took threw itself out of commission a couple of weeks ago. What the hell! All the machines have gone mad. Maybe it's the Matrix coming into reality...if it isn't already!

Strange Document Feelings

2007-10-18T13:42:00.000-05:00

I went to the old office yesterday to pick up my DD 214; that is the official document that lets the world know that I was in the military and that I am now done. I still don't have a strange feeling like I thought I would when I got out. Is it strange that I don't feel strange?

Pondering

2007-10-15T13:33:00.000-05:00

I started the new job and it's a lot slower than what I was used to for the past eight years. It's hard because not only am I adapting to a new job, I'm adapting to a new way of life. I keep having to remind myself I'm not active duty anymore and there are different rules now. I was talking to a friend who got out a few years ago and found out it took almost a year before she was completely adjusted to the outside world. I know it sounds like I just got out of prison, but if you think about it you can become institutionalized just the same. You live this very structured life and you think that you're not really structured, but the second you step out of that world you realize how much you were. You then move on to a job where you have more room to breath. I understand the structure is there for a reason and that it is needed in that environment, but it is a strange thing to shed. The best advice I was given was don't shed it completely, but rather know when you use it to your advantage. The other day, for example, the project manager tasked one of my co-workers to do something and he blew it off. Now the marine in me was saying "How could you blow off a simple task like that, you're such a turd." The co-worker was very unapologetic and the boss noticed that. My discipline would have handled that task with no problem and all would have been right with the world and I would look good in the eyes of those who evaluate me.

In retrospect I know it was a good thing for me to get out. I have a child that needs at least one parent in it's life since it's not going to have the other any time soon and the best way that I can provide that for him is being in a steady place and being able to be there for him when I need to be. The worst thing I can do at this point is to ever question that decision that I made more than two years ago. I did my time to the country and I did it honorably. I finished what I started and I am proud of that fact and no one can take that away from me.

EDIT: I called my child "it" and there is no good reason for this. I have no idea how that happened, but it won't happen again!

Hockeytown USA

2007-10-04T16:41:00.000-05:00

For the first time in 10 years the Detroit Red Wings did not sell out a game, and this wasn't just any game, this was the home opener. My second favorite sport is struggling and I hate to see it. That's part of the problem, I can't see it. There is one network that carries games nationally other than that I have to pay about $100.00 to watch it. I understand geographic markets and I don't expect to see the Pittsburgh Penguins every night, but with the best player since Wayne Gretzky they should be selling that team to the masses.

With the last three Stanley Cup winners coming from Tampa, FL, North Carolina, and Anaheim, CA there is proof that good hockey is all over North America. The problem is that for some reason the NHL can't sell itself. I don't know who their publicists are, but they need to fire them and get some new ones. Hockey must be great, because it keeps surviving what the NHL keeps doing to it

Grumpy, Sleepy, Dopey

2007-09-27T19:54:00.000-05:00

I'm tired. I'm grumpy! I started my new job and I'm battling my hair now that it's growing out. I'll have more to say this weekend. Right now, I've got nothing.

Maury Baby Daddy

2007-09-17T08:09:00.001-05:00

I'm watching Maury and I got to say, it's setting black and white people back more than Jerry Springer ever did. I don't know if these folks are actors or not, but if they are I don't know how many takes it took to do it with a straight face. I can't help but ask, are there that many women who are this young and have no idea who the father of their children are? I'm sure Maury will do paternity tests all the way to the bank until every momma has a baby daddy.

In case you've never saw an episode, here are the Cliffs Notes:

Maury: Here we have Woman who needs to know who the father of 9 month old Baby
Woman: I'm 100% positive that he's the father of this child!
Man: Woman, you aint nothin' but a ho who (Bleeep) everyone in sight. I know that aint my kid! He doesn't even look like me! I don't want anything to do with you or your damn kid!
Maury: When it comes to 9 month old Baby, Man, you are...

Now here is where it gets interesting, either he is or he isn't. First here's what happens if he IS the father.
Maury: ...you are the father!
Woman: What mother(Bleep) I told you! I told you!
Man: Oh, well, I want to take care of my child. I knew that was my child. I love you Woman!

And if he's NOT the father:
Maury: ...you are not the father!
Man: Yeah bitch I told you. You aint nothing but a dirty ho. (He gets in the girls face and sometimes his mother or maybe his new girlfriend is there doing the same) I hate you bitch! Nasty ho!
Woman: (Doesn't say anything and runs backstage crying and hides in a closet)
Maury: We'll find the father, we'll help you!

5 / 27,506 / 3,728

2007-09-13T07:59:00.000-05:00

5 Years
27, 506 Injured
3,728 Dead

This is a subject that I've been thinking about writing for a while now and with my recent separation now is as good a time as any. Those three numbers sum up our current operation in Iraq and the numbers will keep rising.

The thing that finally pushed me to write this is a show that I just watched on HBO called Alive Day. The term is something that we used to describe the day that you could have died, but didn't. I was a little skeptical about watching this show because I had a fear that it would be degrading to the service members and it would have a message attached to it; it didn't do either. The producer of the show, James Gandolfini, of Sopranos fame, did the best thing he could do. He shut up, took the focus off of him, and let the Marines and Soldiers speak for themselves. We didn't even see him except for a shot of every interviewee getting their picture taken with him. In doing this he gave the best publicity that any show could ask for, we tuned in to watch something with James Gandolfini and stayed to hear these amazing stories. The injured told their story of what happened and then moved on to their attempts to move on with life. They spoke of the confusion that comes along with their recovery and trying to figure out what to do with their lives.

In this hour long show I saw in those people the faces I've seen for the past eight years. I saw the face of friends that have gone and others that have yet to go. I saw the face of one of our students who didn't come home. I saw the face of a friend, with whom I spent many nights in Pensacola smoking cigarettes, talking about women, and wondering what was going to happen in our futures. He too did not come home.

The point of this is that I don't care what you think of the war. I don't care what you think of the government. In the end there are the people on the ground doing the dirty work. They are people just like you and me. "Without people we are nothing." Ponder on that!

Joe Strummer - Redemption Song

The Future Is Written

2007-09-10T17:37:00.000-05:00

Today I found that the job I interviewed for here in Baltimore is the route I'm going to take. They offered more money and I don't have the heartache of moving and getting Quentin back in another school. I still love Virginia and hope to return there someday, but for right now this was the best route. It gets my foot in the door with a company that I really like and have many friends that work for them. I haven't heard bad words about this company either, which makes me feel better about the whole thing.

The "Phone Company" came to me with an offer first and until today it was the only offer I had. It put me back in Virginia and it took me to the building that I worked in while I was there. I was happy there and I had some really good people around me. The down side was that the Phone Company wasn't willing to help me out much. I don't expect them to bend over backwards for me, but there was no flexibility at all. They wanted me to start on the September 17 and they wanted me to do it knowing that I couldn't leave Baltimore until September 1 at the earliest. If I was alone, I would have started work after the long weekend, but I would have had to pull Quentin from school and get another address down there to enroll him in another one. I also would have to pay two rents until this lease was up which would have been at least the first of October. I asked if my start date could be pushed another week and I was told no. I asked if there was any financial help for relocation and I was told no. I asked if there was anything they could do and the only answer I got was they'd give me a few days off that would put me in the negative for my vacation days or take them without pay. So today I said goodbye and told the local company I'd be accepting their offer. I have some paper work to do and hopefully I can start sometime next week.

Until then I get to hang at home and watch movies and read. I started the Harry Potter series and I'm up to the second book; so far so good. I watched "Freedomland" and I tried to watch "Pans Labyrinth" but it's in Spanish and I hate reading my movies. My good friend CJ gave me some other suggestions that I plan on viewing before I go back to the daily grind.

Cleaning Break

2007-09-08T14:37:00.000-05:00

This is the first year since 2002 that I have not attended a Dave Matthews Band concert. What the hell? This has been a summer time tradition! It was also the best way to get rid of a girl who I was dating and it even ended a marriage. I say that because I never took the same girl twice. The ex-wife was the first and they all just followed suit from there.

I think the reason that I didn't go this year is because the closest shows to me are either Philly or the other side of DC. It's not just a quick drive to the Beach and back home or to bars or where ever. No it's like a three hour pilgrimage and I guess I just wasn't willing to make it. I did get to see them do a three song set at Live Earth, so I guess that will have to do.

Maybe next summer I'll get back on track and maybe, just maybe, I'll have a repeat accomplice to the show, but I won't hold my breath!

Back to vacuuming the apartment now!

Days at Home

2007-09-06T12:14:00.000-05:00

While I am waiting to hear back from another job before I make the jump to Virginia Beach I have made some very interesting observations. The biggest one is TV, and I've been watching a lot of it. The commercials are not geared towards housewives like I would have thought, they are instead trying to get the attention of retirees and disabled. While watching Jeopardy on Game Show Network there was an add for Hoveround which was invented by a guy named Tom Kruse (pronounced like the Scientologist). That was immediately followed up by an add for catheters, and that was actually not something I needed to hear. The Life Alert is back complete with "I've fallen and I can't get up!" Drew Carey still isn't on Price Is Right, they're showing the Barker stock pile. I was a little bummed about that. I really wanted to see how Drew did.

Quentin seems to be doing very well in school. I haven't had a bad report and that gives me a little relief, because I was sure he'd have some sort of listening problem, but the reverse has happened, he's actually better at home than he was before starting school. I was hoping that school would be good for him.

I've gotten some reading done as well and I must say I rather enjoy having no where to go and nothing to do all day. I am looking forward to starting work soon though. I can only do this for so long before I go completely nuts!

Goodbye Scarlet/Gold Road

2007-08-31T18:46:00.000-05:00

Today I said goodbye to my life as I knew it for the past eight years. This was my last day on active duty. I've got a little over a month of time where I'm still considered active, but it's like a big vacation. I don't have to go work and I don't have to cut my hair or shave everyday, so that's a relief because I hate shaving everyday. I've got a job lined up in Virginia that I'm sort of wrestling with, but we'll get into that some other day. Today was very bittersweet for me, it was very surreal to be honest. I realize that I'm not going to be in the military anymore but at the same time it felt like a normal Friday. Eight years of normal Fridays and it really did go by fast.

There have been some good times; Pensacola, Biloxi, New Orleans, Virginia Beach; and there have been some bad times; Parris Island, Camp Lejeune, Virginia Beach; but over all it's been a great experience. It didn't really do well to set me up for the real world because we got a lot handed to us that I'm just not going to have anymore, but it got me out of Pennsylvania and living at home and forced me to grow up and live on my own by paying rent and bills and buying my own stuff. Sometimes I'm ready for the "real world" and other times I feel like I'm moving out of my mom's for the first time all over again.

I am ready to go though. I'm not leaving because I'm disgruntled at the Marine Corps, but at the same time I'm ready to grow up and find out who Adam Parson is and leave behind who Sergeant Parson was. I'll always have a piece of him with me but there is this whole other life that is on the other side of the door for me. I'll have some stability that won't force me to move every three years or so. To be honest I will kind of miss that. I liked going to a new place and seeing new things, no matter how much I bitched about it. I've got a child to worry about though and I have to do what I think is best for the both of us. What I think is best is staying in one spot and not having the dogs of deployment barking on the front porch. I never tried to hide from deployments, but I don't want to leave my child if I don't have to.

There are some things I'm going to miss, but here's what I won't:
1. Formations. They may look good from the other side, but please come stand in one.
2. Forced running/exercise.
3. Constant bashing of my music choices. I like John Lennon and I like a strange little bi-sexual named Ani. Deal with it! Oh by the way I enjoy listening to Bob Dylan too!
4. There are other news sources out there not named Fox.
5. Green shorts. I have underwear longer than these things.
6. The fear of change. Don't be scared of new cammies and running suits.
7. Constant bashing of all things gay. They're gay, so what. They won't pervert you any worse than you are already. They may even enlighten you to some things that you never knew existed.
8. I'm 26 years old and I know how my uniform should fit me. I don't need an inspection every October telling me that.
9. Stamping my last name on every piece of clothing I own. Yes I even had to put "Parson" on my underwear and socks.
10. Admin and Supply acting like it's their money. If I'm entitled to it, give it to me.
11. Change of Command ceremonies that are in the hottest part of the year at damn near the hottest time of day.
12. Yes I am a Sergeant, but you know what, Colonel? I'm not stupid. I could have a very good conversation with you on a wide variety of topics because I too have read more than Playboy; they do have some great articles though (once you're done looking at the pictures)!

So Gentle Reader, there you have it! Please stay tuned for the adventures in post military life. It should be interesting and you will have a good read as I press on with my child in tow.

Full Fuckin' House

2007-08-26T10:00:00.000-05:00

I'm watching Bob Saget's HBO special and I've got to tell you so far it isn't funny at all. The biggest selling point is watching Danny Tanner drop F-Bombs. Once you stop laughing at that, it loses it's humor. I heard him on the Howard Stern Show last week and he was just carrying on a conversation with Howard and the crew and he was funny, but here he's almost like watching a really bad Robin Williams impersonation. It's very erratic and a lot of swearing, which doesn't bother me, but he's banking on the fact that we will laugh for an hour at watching a family TV show star suddenly talking "dirty" and it doesn't work after about five minutes. He should have just come out and said "Fuck" and then just walked off stage and it would have fulfilled what everyone wanted to see and hear.

I just realized he's the "Voice" from "How I Met Your Mother". Interesting.

Big Love/Big Hate

2007-08-15T20:56:00.000-05:00

I just finished watching Primetime on ABC and this week they focused on polygamists in Arizona. Towards the end of the show they did a segment about a group of the women who are taking action to end the laws that make polygamy illegal. Me personally I agree. Why not make it legal? What's the problem. They're marriages in the community last and are, at least on the surface, happy marriages. Some groups say it's demeaning to the women, but it's their believe system and who are we to question it? People are real quick to preach tolerance until it clashes with one of their principles. In my opinion these folks may be a little skewed in why they feel that God encourages plural marriage. It seems very mid-evil to me, but like stated already it's their believe system and they are still in America and could leave if they wanted to.

I'm not a big fan of bringing freedom with a gun, but at the same time we are trying to make the world live like we live and in my experiance that lifestyle isn't that bad. So here we have groups saying get out of Iraq and the Middle East in general, but then turn around and say the way those people are treated is horrible and someone should do something about that. So now what? I think most of the people in those parts of the world are kept stupid to prevent them from rising up and overthrowing their governments and making a country that will be sucessful and not get caught up in a leadership vacuum that is filled by some crazed dictator. In the end are we any better when the day is through?

Paint A Date

2007-08-13T21:33:00.000-05:00

I started watching this show on VH1 called "The Pick Up Artist" and I must say it is flippin' hilarious. It's about seven or so guys who are the epitome of nerd and they are under the tutelage of so called Pickup Artists who go around teaching schmucks like me how to be the guy that "men want to be and all women want to be with". Sometimes it's a little embarrassing to watch these guys go into a club/bar and try to start conversations with women. Some of these guys have never had any resemblance of a girlfriend. The first two episodes focus on the men changing their image from simple polo's and jeans to modern style and flair.

I really don't have anything witty and fun to say about this show, but it is entertainment and it makes me laugh. The only VH1 show that tops it has got to be "Rock of Love" nothing like watching White Trash women try to get the front man from my old favorite Glam Band, Poison.

Whine in the Woods

2007-08-05T15:09:00.000-05:00

Q and I went camping this weekend with 13 of our friends in the wilds of West Virginia. The weekend was very interesting in the world of your Friendly Single Parent. My son was the youngest one there and he was following the other two boys around like a little brother and he was wearing on their nerves like one too. There was a lot going on that made him a little overwhelmed and that made him get testy and whiny. I felt like a bad parent this weekend because I was just pissed off more than I have been in a long time at my Little Man. This single parent thing is just wearing on me more and more lately. I'm also stressed out with getting a job, getting him to school, the fact I have no money anymore, and the general uncertainty of the future. I want it to be next month so I can hopefully come down and relax from all this chaos.

Drowning

2007-07-24T18:07:00.000-05:00

I'm feel like things are spinning out of control. As my military career comes to a close I've got a lot on my mind and it's starting to show. I've got to figure out how much to ask for. Where do I want to live? How much is it going to cost me to live there? What do I have to do for Q to start school? The biggest question, what do I want to do with my life?

I've been trained in the world of IT and I really don't like it. The only thing that's been consistent in my life has been teaching. I would like to become a history teacher, preferably at the collegiate level. In order to get there I've got to do a lot of college and if I try to do it part time, it's going to take even longer. I've got an opportunity to go to either Ohio or Florida and be able to go to school full time. The problem with that is what can I do to pay the bills while I'm doing that. Q will be taken care of while I'm in class, but the rent is still due.

This sucks! Any advice?

K-Y Do You Ask?

2007-07-11T17:01:00.000-05:00

The guy in front of me at the grocery store bought KY. I wonder if he's going to use it with others or save it all for himself. Pretty funny because he almost used my Bonus Card to buy his KY, but he found his own card so I won't have someone at the Giant Grocery Headquarters laughing at my record with a purchase of chicken breast and KY with a side of salsa.

KY is something that you can't mask the use of either. You either can't get wet in front, you're using the back door, or you're masturbating. There are absolutely no other uses for that product. It falls in line with douche and depends. I know I'd hate to prance through the store with my diapers and self pleasuring lotion; and I just said a prayer that it doesn't come to that.

Oh well, I hope Mr. KY has fun with what ever purpose he made his purchase.

Tupac Cobain at Live Earth

2007-07-07T17:55:00.000-05:00

I realized my age the other day when I found out that most folks starting college or, in my case, just joining the military don't much remember life without computers. They also don't remember seeing "Smells Like Teen Spirit" interrupting the "Hair Bands" and their control of the charts and video air play. This is so strange to me because I still think of these things happening last week. I can still tell you what I was doing when MTV News told me Kurt Cobain and Tupac Shakur where gone. Up to 9/11 and the Afghanistan and Iraq wars this is what my young "Y" generation thought of with the highest reverence. I swear as soon as I turned 18 time went in fast forward. Now my parents don't seem so dumb when they told me it would!

I'm watching Live Earth concerts today and while I love the music, I keep wondering what is really going on. I've got one side telling me the world is fine and the other telling me that the world is out of control. I'm guessing we're somewhere in between. We've got issues that we need to address, but if we don't we're going to have some serious problems. I really wish this country would stop pointing fingers and just tell the folks the truth.

Speaking of Live Earth, I found out two things today; Dave Grohl is an amazing entertainer who pours out his passion on stage and Alicia Keys is one very talented and sexy woman.

UPDATE: Dave Mathews dropped the "F-Bomb" on Bravo's coverage of his set. How's that for freedom of speech? Actually he dropped about 10 "F-Bombs" during the song "Too Much".

Tennis Porn

2007-07-05T15:35:00.001-05:00

I went to the barber shop today to get mine and Q's mop chopped. While I was there they had the Wimbledon Championships on and I swear if I wasn't looking at the TV it would have sounded like lesbian porn the way the ladies where grunting and moaning. I watched one women's match and the start of a men's match where there was no grunting or moaning. I know that during sporting matches you're bound to make noise of exhaustion, I've done it my self. It was made worse because of the stadium being so quiet. The question still remains; why are the guys quiet?

I Came, I saw, My Feet Hurt

2007-06-21T16:36:00.000-05:00

The day started when I woke up around 4:30 AM in preparation for my big trip into the Federal City. I then dawned my favorite olive green suit with blue shirt and matching tie with olive and blue patterns woke up Q took him upstairs for his ride to day care and I was off around 6:00 AM. I drove to Laurel, MD with out any problems but there the unavoidable stop and go traffic that is Interstate 95 began; so much for making the 6:52 train! I saw my desired train pulling away from the station as I arrived to the Greenbelt Station parking lot. After trying to successfully place my full size over compensating truck into one of many spots designed for the original Cooper Mini's I grabbed my bag, slung it over my shoulder, and headed into the station. I had to add money to my fare card, which I thought I knew how to do but the very polite Metrorail employee showed me the error of my ways and my SmarTrip card now had $22.00 that could be used for fair and parking fees.

I was able to catch the 6:58 train from Greenbelt to Chinatown however in keeping with Parson Law was delayed because of another train moving slowly, the delay was less than five minutes so apparently the Metro doesn't fall under my jurisdiction. I pulled out my iPod from my bag and hid it in my pocket because I'm sure everyone wants to steal them an iPod, but no one even noticed me so no problem there, maybe it's because I used black ear phones instead of the "mug me white", only the thief knows for sure. I enjoyed the sounds of The Clash while I read the free news paper that a nice young man handed me as I entered the station and I was disturbed by an article about a man being beat to death by a mob after he hit a child while driving; the child, by the way, had no serious injuries. I arrived to Chinatown where I made a hasty exit from the Greenline to catch the Redline. When I got off the Greenline the song "Train in Vain" was playing and I thought that was funny even though there is no mention of a train in the song at all. As I exited the train the song "Magnificent 7" was playing and I found this appropriate because it's all about the rush of the daily grind.

The meeting I was attending was pretty boring and for the most part useless for my position with my organization so I'll spare you the details of that and go back to my city narrative.

I wandered around downtown Washington in search of a decent place for lunch that I found in a place called Harry's Saloon. I sat outside under the awning watching the sidewalk traffic of the many business folks, tourists, and kids enjoying their Summer vacation. I had a steak sandwich that was less than ten bucks but tasted like it was worth twenty. The two bankers I followed in obviously knew what was good, so if they stop by, thanks!

Now, I'm about six hours into my day and since about two hours into the day my shoes where digging at my poor little toes. I never understood why women would bitch about shoes looking great but feeling bad, I have now changed sides of that argument. Ladies, I support you and your shoes!

Even though my shoes where digging into my tootsies, I decided I should see some of the sights while in town so I finished lunch and headed back towards Pennsylvania Avenue. I had a very nice view of the Capital Building straight down Penn Ave, but I decided not to hoof it down there. I was close to the White House, so I walked the few blocks to see how things where running. Pennsylvania Ave is closed to traffic in front of the White House and the street has been redone with brick and it looked very nice. A family asked if I could take there picture to which I happily obliged. The nuclear weapon protest lady is still there, she was there two years ago when I was in Lafayette Park last.

I then headed back to the train station for the trip home. I grabbed a copy of The Onion for the ride and I laughed all the way home. The articles of note are "Bush Calls For Development Of National Air Conditioner" and "Bar Skanks Announce Plans To Kiss", very funny articles to say the least.

By the time I got back to the station my feet where on fire. I guess I'll have to get off my cheap ass and invest in some new ones. These are almost 10 years old after all! I found my beloved Silvie (the Silverado) right where I left her with out any new scars so that made me happy!

In light of today's adventure I've decided that if I am going to stay in the area I would rather do it in DC. While Baltimore has some good points, I just find DC more inviting and interesting. I'm sure my love affair with the hustle and noise of the city will leave me, but until that day, I want it all!

Boo old shoes! Hooray DC!

Mr Adam Goes To Washington

2007-06-20T17:59:00.000-05:00

I'm off to DC tomorrow to sit in what I'm sure will be a boring meeting, but there will be lots of folks there who may be people that could help me on my way to employment. I'm going to bring my best impression and some business cards that I made, so we'll see what happens.

I've got to be there by 7:30 which means I've got to leave my house by 6:00 to catch a train into DC at 6:52. That part isn't cool, but it's part of the job hunt I guess.

CJ, I'll tell Georgie you said hi, since you're old pals and all...

Don't Stop Believing

2007-06-11T17:09:00.001-05:00

Tony Soprano went out to the sounds of Journey last night. In case you missed or don't care, the show ended with Tony, Carmella, Anthony Jr., and Meadow all together at a diner where the screen went to black and we where left with no idea what happened to Tony, Paulie, or Sil. I think this ending did exactly what it wanted to; make people talk. All I heard today from ESPN to the View was how the show ended. The ending was very "artistic" with the black screen and the unresolved plot lines allowing the viewer to make up their own minds, but it was still a little disappointing.

Arevederci Antonio!

Lockdown de Paris

2007-06-07T19:45:00.000-05:00

Paris Hilton got out of jail after three days of a three week sentence. Everyone is making a big deal about this, but really, how is this different than getting released after seven years of a 21 year sentence? Maybe Paris had good behavior and they sent her home early. Now she gets to hang at the house and must wear a Lowjack for the next 40 days. Now, I know when I've had to sit in the house when Q was sick I got a little cabin fever, so maybe she will too and that will not be fun, but then again, she could have a house party and for Paris; "That's Hot!"

Low Tide

2007-05-12T21:25:00.000-05:00

There's happiness on that side of town
I dropped mine somewhere on the ground
My eyes are always looking down
I need a hand back up
I need to hear your sound

Can you give up what I need
From this pain I need relief
I got a match and gasoline
Can you save me from me

I saw you out the other day
I couldn't think of what to say
I just wanted to touch your face
I want to know what is my place
I'm think I'm falling back
I cannot win this race

Can you give up what I need
From this pain I need relief
I got a match and gasoline
Can you save me from me

My inner demons stepped outside
I tried to surf in low tide
I gave up before I tried
I want you here by my side
I've got some extra cash
Lets go for a ride

Can you give up what I need
From this pain I need relief
I got a match and gasoline
Can you save me from me

At the Ole Ball Game

2007-05-06T07:21:00.000-05:00

Today is baseball day so Quentin and I are headed to Camden Yards with the little league where the teams get to walk around the field before the game which I can't wait to see. This will be the second major league game I've been to in my life. The first was in Pittsburgh about ten years ago. I wonder how Quentin will do with the game being that baseball is not the fastest moving sport and my son has an attention span of about 30 minutes. Hopefully we'll make it through the whole game.

Do It Like They Do On The Discovery Channel

2007-04-22T19:21:00.000-05:00

Ever since I was a little Adam I have been fascinated by the likes of the Discovery, History, National Geographic, and Learning channels. I will sit and watch a two hour feature on migratory birds with out even flinching. If there is a "Modern Marvels" marathon, I'm in my glory. Call for pizza and wings, because Daddy isn't cooking tonight! I can't dare miss this program telling me how the Empire State Building was made. Granted it isn't that bad, but you get the point.

One of my favorites was a BBC documentary series done about five years ago called "Blue Planet" that looked at all the ocean life at the different depths and how there is life on this planet in even the harshest environments. So when I saw the adds for another BBC and Discovery project called "Planet Earth", I had my DVR set and ready. This one is an eleven part series that covers every climate and continent on Earth. The thing I liked best about it was that unlike other wild life docs it stressed the beauty and complexity of our planet and not the state of it. There are a few conservation messages throughout however and while I do support protecting the planet as much as we can, I don't want to get bashed about the head and face with it.

Over all you'll be happy to know that it's business as usual in the woods and while there are a few hang ups here and there most of the species are doing what they do on this planet, come and go. There are a few species that are endangered and while some of that may be contributed to us it really is what has been going on for millions of years. Animals evolve and some of them get left in the dust called extinction. After all when did last see a dodo bird?

Doped On TV

2007-04-16T19:59:00.000-05:00

Starting this past Saturday I started the annual Spring cold. I always get at least one of these this time of year when the weather starts to act unpredictable. I went from wearing shorts to wearing my parka in the course of a week, feels like I never left Buffalo. However Saturday was fine and I even managed to go out that night. Sunday was the storm before the calm. I was stiff and would go from cold to hot and back to cold. All I wanted to do was pop cold medicine and watch bad TV. Unfortunately couldn't do these things because I had to drive to the great town of Breezewood, PA to pick up Quentin.

The drive up was alright but the drive home was horrible! I was drinking so much water and orange juice that I had to stop twice during the two hour trip. I got home and unleashed Quentin to the toys and I dozed on the couch while watching the race and then the hockey game. Those events didn't bring much relief from my non-breathing misery, Fat Tony spun twice and broke his racecar and the Penguins lost 4-2 to the Senators. My only joy came from taking Sudafed and having some of the strangest dreams and half conscious thoughts throughout the night. It was a long night of waking up and trying to sleep again.

Tonight I'm going to try NyQuil and my sleep should be much better!

The 5th Became The 6th

2007-04-06T07:12:00.000-05:00

I have a rare day off during the work week and here I sit typing at 8:15AM. I do this because I was awoken around 7:00AM with a feeling of panic. I did that because yesterday was the 5th of April and that is the last day that my rent can be paid with out receiving a late charge and I'm certain you get some kind of "nasty gram" telling you that your rent is over due and you're a very bad person! For some reason every month I wait until the 5th to drop my rent in the box that is in the leasing office. I feel like the longer I wait the more money I'll have. It's a strange thing I know but the more I can look at an ATM reciept and see more money in the balance the happier I am.

This morning my body clock woke up around 6:00 and I reassured myself that I did indeed have the day off and it was safe to go back to sleep. I wandered back off to dream land and then shot up around 7:00 realizing that if I had the day off that it was the 6th and I knew that no trip to the office has been made on the 5th. I got up and proceeded to get dressed in a funny color combination of blue Adidas pants, white shoes, light blue shirt, green fleece , and a black hat. I get an envelope to put the check in and I go to the truck to get my check book. Since Maryland can't make up it's mind of what season it wants it's about -20 outside and that causes the pen in my truck to not want to write. I don't have time for this! They're going to be in the office soon, I think anyway, I really don't know. I take my rainbow of clothes and my gaggle of paper and back to the house. I fill out my check, put it in the envelope, tell Quentin I'll be right back, and step out into the tundra again. I walk over to the office, drop my rent in the box, head back home against the wind making the cold even colder, and now all is right with the world...until May 5th that is.

I Love The 90's

2007-04-03T21:17:00.000-05:00

You know, those days really don't seem that long ago. I mean sometimes they do, but sometimes it seems like last night. When I get caught up in my day to day life, it seems long ago. When I hear a song or see something that reminds me of that time period, it doesn't seem like we got so grown up so fast. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, growing up that is, and I always said that there would be no regrets in my life and to some extent that's still true, but looking back, there are things I'm sorry I didn't do. Do you do that to or is it just me? I feel like I'm missing out on things because I didn't spend my 20's like someone on the real world with a great social life and lots of going out. It's almost like the reality of careers, bills, family, and getting older make it seem like I missed out. Then I have to ask did I miss something?

To Be Continued...(Because I want some sleep!)

I Love The 80's

2007-04-01T16:35:00.000-05:00

I got Sirius Satellite radio and I couldn't be happier! No more commercials, I've got somewhere around 200 channels to choose from, and I get my Howard Stern show back. Last week I programed all my presets so that way I'm not scanning through around 200 channels looking for the ones I really want. I've been stuck on "The Big 80's" and "1st Wave" for almost a month now though. I'm out of the new music scene because I'm too busy buying The Clash, The Cure, and INXS from iTunes. Someone told me how great their new Chris Daughtry CD is and I almost asked if they had heard that new one from The Clash. So is this an age thing, discovering new music that at least twenty years old? Is this like Seinfeld, I hated the show when I was young but I love it now that I'm in my mid-twenties?

I Hate ___________

2007-02-18T09:29:00.000-05:00

I don't know if it made the CNN or Fox networks this past week, but all over ESPN former NBA player Tim Hardaway said "I hate gay people!" He said this because he was asked about another former player who has recently come out after spending his entire career hiding his sexuality. Now I don't agree with Tim Hardaway, I like gay people myself they have some of the best bars I've ever been to plus I get a few free drinks there, however I am so proud that someone was brave enough to get on TV and say what they felt.

I'm so sick of this politically correct world we live in where everything is an issue. We live in an age where everything you say could be taken the wrong way when you truly didn't mean anything by it. Like that guy from New Jersey or somewhere who decided to run for president and when asked about Obama said something about him being articulate and some other stuff, but the word that got him in trouble was "clean". When I first read that statement I thought he meant clean record, clean cut (the guy does always look good), or basically another way of saying classy. I don't know what he really meant, and I don't care, but everyone took it to mean that this guy thought all black people where "dirty" and couldn't speak. Only he knows for sure what his statements meant, but I didn't see the big deal. I say we scrap all the political correct B.S. and say what we feel. I know that there will always be groups who don't like other groups for whatever reason, but at least we'll always know where we stand. I thought about it before I started writing and I couldn't think of a group that I hate. I don't hate anyone and I'm pretty sure that the majority of people don't have a problem with any groups either.

Way to go Tim Hardaway, you may take some flak, but at least that gay publicist knows not to ask you for a job! I respect you for letting everyone know where they stand.

What The Hell?

2007-02-14T10:17:00.000-05:00

As you can see I changed the page look. Why? Because I had this black and white thing going on that was so damn depressing and I am so sick of seeming so damn depressed! The new background is more fun and my favorite part: if you look at the top it has part of a subway map. I don't know why I like that so much, but that is what sold me on it. So no more "Oh boo hoo! She left me for some other guy who is better in bed than me or something." Because, truth be told, I can be very good, you just just have to have sex first; but that's a whole other rant.

So there you have it folks. I have faced my new reality and it is that no matter how much I didn't want to come, I moved to Baltimore and it's time to make the best of it. No matter how much it hurt, I got divorced and got dumped and it's time to move the hell on. Stop whining and pouting and get back in the now! I'm sure I'll get dumped again and I'm sure I'll dump a poor girl too, either way it will hurt for a spell but I will be fine and I will take what comes in stride.

The Tao Of MySpace

2007-02-13T16:40:00.000-05:00

Error: You must be someone's friend to make a comment about them.