Observations

Today is an extremely slow day and I've decided to list somethings I've noticed today.

- Nothing says, "I don't give a shit about you" as in calling you by the wrong name. Not forgetting someones name; I do that all the time, but to actually make up names. The deputy director of the office just called me Todd. Now he has also in the past called me Allen and Aaron; at least those are close to my real name of Adam. Instead of trying to correct the man, I've decided to see how many names he'll come up with. I've advised my coworkers of this and they agreed to not correct him. The only thing that will top this would be to see the embarrassment on his face when the director, who knows my name, corrects him. Maybe I should see if she'd be willing to get in on the action. I could make a chart of names and have people pick, like the Super Bowl pools that ask you to pick the score.

- Going back and re-reading a lot of this blog (I still hate that word) has made me realize what an accurate portrait of my life this is. It covers whatever emotion I'm feeling. My emotions vary and so do the posts.

- I bought new shoes Saturday and I'm wearing them for the first time today, when I walk around the office I find my self watching my new shoes and looking at myself in the full length mirror in the bathroom. They have more of a square toe and I'm hoping that doesn't make me one of the tools I usually make fun of.

- I'm pretty much alone in the office today and I've discovered how good my computer speakers actually are. I've finally been able to crank up the tunes a little bit. So far I've enjoyed John Mayer's Continuum, The Decemberists' Castaways and Cutouts and The Crane Wife, The Essential Billy Joel (Disc One and Two), and right now Ani DiFranco's Knuckle Down. This has truly been a wonderful day for music. My coworker, who isn't here, is the type that if it isn't early Metallica or Slayer, it sucks. So, to be able to crank a little Ani and not hear groans is a treat!

- I need to buy brown socks. For the first time in my life I own brown shoes and I was made aware of the fashion faux pas of wearing black socks with brown shoes. Of course this was after we had sat down in a restaurant and there was no going home to change shoes. I'm not wearing the brown ones today, I learned my lesson and I'm waiting until brown socks arrive before i try that again!

Bundle O' Anger

I found out that my ex wife recently had her baby. I found this out via MySpace and I think I'm beginning to hate that site more and more; first Lady Red's disappointment in aging and now my ex's procreation. There are two things that bother me about this whole situation. One is that I nor Little Man have heard from Ex in about a year. I've gotten random e-mails offering various excuses as to why our phone hasn't rang, but it doesn't make it any better. Now I want to throw this out there for future reference, please don't call me or e-mail me and tell me what a horrible person Ex is. It will not make me feel better and it will not change my parenting situation. It will do no good what so ever, and, to quote Pulp Fiction, "...I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger..." I probably won't bother with the vengeance and anger, but I will be a wee bit upset.

The second thing that bothers me is the overwhelming support offered to Ex by her so called friends. When she posted the message saying the the baby has come into the world there were many messages of congratulations, as is to be expected, but who these messages were from is what has the sand in my panties exceptionally course this time. These are the same people that when Ex left the marriage used to tell me what a horrible person she was and that she should proceed to the nearest bridge and jump. Why were they saying these things to me? Did they want to get me spun up so I would start running my mouth and then they could go back to Ex and tell her what I said? If this is the case they get the biggest Fuck You I have ever issued in my 27 years of existence. That is one of the shadiest things I could ever think of doing to someone. If they wanted to continue to be friends with Ex, that's fine, just don't put us in a room together and don't put one side against the other. They called themselves friends to me and would start bad mouthing her and I usually put a stop to it pretty quickly and moved on with my day, I'm wondering if they were doing the same thing to her.

Being that I have this page linked and some of these so called friends may happen to stop by I'm going to address them for the remainder of this entry. For the rest of you, just sit back and enjoy this like you would an episode of Maury or Jerry.

Dear False Friends,

For the years after my divorce you took me into your homes and I took you into mine. We drank together, laughed together, took trips together, and let our children play together. I went to you in times of need and you came to me in times of need. Why then would you turn on me and stop talking to me? Is it because I didn't give you the reactions that you wanted? Is it because I saw through your bullshit and fake smiles? At first you had me fooled but I caught on and in doing this did I scare you? If so, good. See what you all failed to realize is that Ex and I had a good relationship for a few years and while you were thinking that you where getting over on me, I was in fact, were getting over on you. I have dirt on each and every one of you. Things that you told her because you didn't want to tell me because you thought she was the better friend, she told me.

You all were so quick to criticize my marriage and my ex-wife but before you laugh and snicker at me maybe you should look in your own front door. The man who you cheated on your husband with, yeah the one that your not supposed to talk to anymore but do anyway. Good luck with that. Hope your husband isn't as blind as I was. And you, the one who still sends pictures and messages to that other woman, I know all about those. I also can't forget the one who was bed hopping like she was getting paid, you and your man are not immune either. Also there is the subliminal one. Based on your looks I wish I would have done what I wanted to, but looking at the way you played me and your little family, I'm glad I didn't.

The point here kids, is that you don't want to fuck with me, I don't run to Illinois and hide at my parents house. I play by different rules and I'll hurt your feelings. When I moved here you all said how much you liked having me around and how you hate to see me go. I'll admit that I bought it, but until recently I didn't see what you all were doing.

In light of all of this, there is one thing that I should mention. I am a forgiver and I am not a grudge holder. I can honestly say there is only one person in this world who I will never forgive and you all are not him. So, my number hasn't changed , my e-mail works, and Interstate 95 runs both ways, but I will not make the first move; the rest is up to you. I hope you have a long look at yourselves and realize what you did to me and my son and realize that I will not let it happen twice.

Absolute Liberation

Do you have some stress at the moment? There is relief! All you have to do is play this song and dance freely with arms waving and legs kicking in whatever room you are in. You will feel no stress, sadness, or any of the pressures and pain of the world for three minutes and 43 seconds. How do I know this? Because I just did it. I used the song provided, but please, feel free to use your own. This one always works for me though because it just begs to be danced to. The true trick here is to not think about how funny you may look, because no one is watching. Just feel the music and move how your body wants to. Now you have one of my secrets to keeping a relatively stress free existence.

The Twelfth Month

I realized that it's been a hot minute since I've given you all any useful information regarding my life. I don't really have a good reason for this I'm not so sorry to say, I just didn't feel like writing. It's the month of December, so that means my birthday has come and gone, Christmas has just passed, and New Years Eve is next week. I suppose I can take each of those days and give you the scoop and maybe something interesting would have come out of that.

My birthday was a pretty low key event. A group met at an Irish bar in Fells Point for dinner. It was very tasty and a pleasant atmosphere to be in. We left there and headed to another bar in the area that had every sort of beer imaginable. I didn't know what to get so I looked at the bartender and said, "Give me something Canadian." This was met with a very disgusted huff and a face that said, "Please step out of the bar and let a truck run over your ass." Now I figured that I left this pretty wide open, something Canadian, it could be a Molson, Labatt's, or even a Moosehead Lager. Either way, I got my over priced Labatt and headed back to the group. We started playing pool and that brought out all of the Paul Newman wannabes in the bar so that didn't last long. When I went back to the bar I flirted with a little blond girl just to make sure that I still have some game, she seemed to soak it up but her boyfriend/husband didn't seem to find it nearly as amusing; fuck him! I made it to bed around 5:00 AM and woke up around 10:00 AM I think, whatever it was it was too early.

Christmas was uneventful. I spent it at Dad's like usual. I got a digital SLR so as soon as I learn how to use it maybe I'll start a photo blog. I left Quentin with the parents so I can go out and enjoy myself a little bit. When I used to be childless I would basically go on a bender, but now all I want to do is sleep. It sure does suck feeling like I'm older than I actually am.

No one can make up their mind on what we're doing for New Years Eve. Last couple have been spent on my couch so I'm ready to go out. There are those $100 open bar things, but the real question is, would I drink a $100 bar tab? Absolutely not! If I end up at a local corner bar, that's fine with me. I just want to be around people; I'm a social person and I want to be social, damn it! Maybe I'll see Blondie and I can piss off her boyfriend again.

Don't Call Me Ishmael

Let me preface this by apologizing to the ex-girls who read this. This is no way a shot at you, just the opinion of yours truly. You are all beautiful women, and I can say this with confidence because, I like to think that other than a few "low" points, I have above average standards on those I consider to be "easy on the eyes".

In this world of MySpace and Facebook and a bunch of other social sites we are able to find some old friends and maybe form some new connections with friends of friends and so on. It can be great but there is a darker side to all this reconnecting. Allow me to give you, Gentle Reader, an example of this dark side.

A few nights ago I was killing some time cruising the Space and I came across the profile of a certain girl that I was involved with in my high school years who, in my somewhat humble opinion, was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Even though the face had aged I knew it was her right off the bat, but something was amiss! This was not the girl that used to make all my high school friends envious, she had changed, a lot and, I dare say, it was for the worse.

Is this superficial of me? You bet! Am I somewhat wrong for thinking like this? Absolutely! But I think we all need a White Whale. I've never compared a woman to a whale and meant it to be a good thing, but I digress. What I mean by White Whale is I looked at this girl as perfect and I imagined that she continued to be the perfect woman 10 years later. I come to find out that she wasn't and for some reason I can't stop thinking about it.

Is it because somethings are better left to mystery? Is it because we remember things to be better than they actually where? When I was living in Norfolk, I enjoyed it, but I also thought about leaving and not looking back. When I didn't get to leave on my own terms and was forced to Baltimore I decided that the streets of Norfolk were paved in gold. The streets of Baltimore, the same city that at one point in my life I said that I wouldn't mind living in, were paved in mercury and you would be poisoned as soon as you touched them.

When the Girl and I split it was the days before every house and desk had a computer with internet access, including my own. It was also before everyone had a cell phone attached to their pocket. I was carrying around a pager in those days and I thought I was on the cutting edge of telecommunications technology. Anyway, her parents decided to move somewhere and because of the aforementioned reasons we just lost contact, that's what you did then. You didn't call long distance on your parents dime so there was no phone calls. We were learning how to use AOL and honestly, what teenager takes time to write a letter. Sure we kept it up for a little bit, but that faded fast. So ever since, in the back of my mind I had an image of this girl who grew into this beautiful woman and just knowing that she was out there kept some sort of mysterious aura about her. I then come across a picture of a girl that I may say hello to in a bar, but I wouldn't necessarily try to pick up. I used the phrase White Whale, and to amplify that point this is like Captain Ahab finding out that Moby Dick washed up on Myrtle Beach last Wednesday. There is nothing in the sea that fascinates him anymore. The positive side to all this: at least this whale didn't kill me like Ahab's did.

The Freaks Come Out At Night!

What the hell is wrong with This Picture? Have we become such a cowardly nation that we now deem this show dangerous? My generation came up with it and I think we're doing alright. We are living in such a culture of fear that it completely baffles me. Don't go into the city, because black people will rape and pillage you! Don't leave your door unlocked because crack addicts will break in and steal you! Don't let your kids play out side because the pedophiles and molest them. Don't let gay people get married because they will ruin it for the 40% of the straight couples that actually work out.

How is it we got to this point? Is this something that every generation has gone through? Is it our parental instinct to protect our children and in doing that we have just escalated to the point that we are currently? I, unfortunately, don't have these answers, but if I did I would fix the world!

By the way, as I'm typing this, goddamn teenagers are outside. Why aren't they at home? Don't they know it's dangerous out there at night?

A surreal moment is hearing your ex-girlfriend say she is going back to prison...more on this later, maybe.

I've Got This Idea

I'm here in the living room watching a little late night television and I just saw a very corny commercial with some sort of four piece band that was playing and singing one of the worst jingles I've ever heard. My first reaction to this was that I couldn't believe how horrible this song was. I then got to thinking that I can not imagine the executives of this company sitting in a board room with the big polished wood table with probably 12 or so chairs around it. The glass pitcher and crystal glasses of water that no one ever seems to drink from were stationed in the middle of this table on a faux silver platter. There are doilies under the cups that are there to act like coasters so that no one leaves rings on the polished table should they decide to drink from the unknown source water.

At one end of the room are a few young men in suits who have a laptop hooked up to a projector that is shining onto a screen. They are young and enthusiastic and are doing their best to close this deal and get some steak with a side of beer before they head back to Chicago. The eager young men start to perform this very tacky and off key rendition of the proposed song with a sense that this is going to fail. This song has been written once on their way to Manhattan. They didn't bother to revise it because they stayed up late trying to soak up the New York scene. They may have even gone to a Rangers game and drank a little too much and got up a little too early. Nevertheless here they are, Chicago's favorite sons, ready to land this big deal and get back to the Windy City in time for their girlfriend's dinner party.

They start the song, which they know is horrible, and a strange thing happens. The executives don't throw them to their pink slips in Chicago, instead they nod their heads, tap their feet, snap their fingers, and the CEO stands up and yells, "That's it! We've found it, the song of XYZ Company!" I hope that doesn't happen, but I have a feeling that I'm closer to the truth than I want to be.

Now there is one more quick thought that follows the previous James Michener type thought is that the most annoying thing is also the most memorable, may that is the true reason these things are the way they are. I've been typing this little story for about half an hour now and the song is still stuck in my head.

Now could you imagine being the band who is so down on their luck that this commercial and this song are a good option? We'll revisit this thought later, Gentle Reader; I've taken enough of your time. Good night!

Big City of Dreams

I checked another thing off my life list this past weekend! I finally made it to New York City. As a native New Yorker I have been taking crap almost all my life for never actually going to the City. It's not that I was avoiding the place, I just never had a reason to go and I always wanted to go so when the opportunity came up I jumped on it. As Gentle Readers know, I love the city life and they don't get any bigger than that so the thought of actually having a New York apartment is even more appealing now that I've seen the place first hand. I keep thinking about Life's Little Instruction Book that said, "Live in New York once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in San Francisco once, but leave before it makes you soft." I read that once when I was in my later teen years and have held on to that statement ever since.

I didn't get to see everything that I wanted, but I saw the three things that I needed to, Strawberry Fields in Central Park, the Dakota building (where John Lennon was shot), and the Trade Center site. The first two I wanted to see for my birthday reasons. The Trade Center was something else though. I took no pictures, I said no words, I just stood and watched. It was strange to think about what happened on that day, I remember watching it unfold on a television set in my North Carolina barracks room and to stand there a few years later almost gives you a sense of the world that was and the world that is. I'm sure that the only thing that compares to it is for someone from my grandparents generation to see Pearl Harbor. I've been to the Pentagon since then and it kicks up emotion, but it was also rebuilt the way it was and people are back in those offices working again so it almost has a different feeling. I'm sure that when the Trade Center site is rebuilt it will have a different feel as well but as a whole, to think about the events of those sites and how they changed life for us as a country is amazing. We each have individual things that change our own life, but those things changed us as a group and that is a powerful thing. Thinking about the Joe Schmoes that were just going to work like normal and the police officers and fire fighters that were running in while the others were running out gets one a little choked up when you're standing on that sight.

A few months before I got out of the Marines a few NYPD recruiters came to a job fair on base and I thought about doing it for a few minutes. A police officer is something that was on my "I Wouldn't Mind Doing That" list. The "IWMDT" is is a list of careers that I've made that statement about and given some sort of thought about doing at some point in my life. The only problem with that list is that most of the stuff on it doesn't pay very well and that is a hot topic in my life as a single parent. Also time management is a pretty high priority too and the police department wouldn't offer much of that. Either way, it's still on the list and being in the city highlighted those things again. I doubt it will ever happen, but someone took out a neon yellow highlighter and took it to some things on that list. Now that I'm out of the military and have all this new found freedom to go which ever route I choose I find myself constantly wondering what I want to be when I grow up and it's just as scary and appealing as it was when I was 17.

The System Is Down

I hate computers! Not only do I have to mess with these pieces of crap all week at work, but then I get to come home and mess with mine. I've got some sort of spy ware that causes inhumane amounts of pop ups; I just had to close one out as I tried to type this sentence. What makes it worse is that it is one of those spy ware programs that all four of my "security" stuff can not find or delete. In order to get this thing gone I've got to get so far down in the computer files that I very well could fry this thing for good. Wish me luck! Oh yeah, I've also got a laptop that took threw itself out of commission a couple of weeks ago. What the hell! All the machines have gone mad. Maybe it's the Matrix coming into reality...if it isn't already!

Strange Document Feelings

I went to the old office yesterday to pick up my DD 214; that is the official document that lets the world know that I was in the military and that I am now done. I still don't have a strange feeling like I thought I would when I got out. Is it strange that I don't feel strange?

Pondering

I started the new job and it's a lot slower than what I was used to for the past eight years. It's hard because not only am I adapting to a new job, I'm adapting to a new way of life. I keep having to remind myself I'm not active duty anymore and there are different rules now. I was talking to a friend who got out a few years ago and found out it took almost a year before she was completely adjusted to the outside world. I know it sounds like I just got out of prison, but if you think about it you can become institutionalized just the same. You live this very structured life and you think that you're not really structured, but the second you step out of that world you realize how much you were. You then move on to a job where you have more room to breath. I understand the structure is there for a reason and that it is needed in that environment, but it is a strange thing to shed. The best advice I was given was don't shed it completely, but rather know when you use it to your advantage. The other day, for example, the project manager tasked one of my co-workers to do something and he blew it off. Now the marine in me was saying "How could you blow off a simple task like that, you're such a turd." The co-worker was very unapologetic and the boss noticed that. My discipline would have handled that task with no problem and all would have been right with the world and I would look good in the eyes of those who evaluate me.

In retrospect I know it was a good thing for me to get out. I have a child that needs at least one parent in it's life since it's not going to have the other any time soon and the best way that I can provide that for him is being in a steady place and being able to be there for him when I need to be. The worst thing I can do at this point is to ever question that decision that I made more than two years ago. I did my time to the country and I did it honorably. I finished what I started and I am proud of that fact and no one can take that away from me.

EDIT: I called my child "it" and there is no good reason for this. I have no idea how that happened, but it won't happen again!

Hockeytown USA

For the first time in 10 years the Detroit Red Wings did not sell out a game, and this wasn't just any game, this was the home opener. My second favorite sport is struggling and I hate to see it. That's part of the problem, I can't see it. There is one network that carries games nationally other than that I have to pay about $100.00 to watch it. I understand geographic markets and I don't expect to see the Pittsburgh Penguins every night, but with the best player since Wayne Gretzky they should be selling that team to the masses.

With the last three Stanley Cup winners coming from Tampa, FL, North Carolina, and Anaheim, CA there is proof that good hockey is all over North America. The problem is that for some reason the NHL can't sell itself. I don't know who their publicists are, but they need to fire them and get some new ones. Hockey must be great, because it keeps surviving what the NHL keeps doing to it

Grumpy, Sleepy, Dopey

I'm tired. I'm grumpy! I started my new job and I'm battling my hair now that it's growing out. I'll have more to say this weekend. Right now, I've got nothing.

Maury Baby Daddy

I'm watching Maury and I got to say, it's setting black and white people back more than Jerry Springer ever did. I don't know if these folks are actors or not, but if they are I don't know how many takes it took to do it with a straight face. I can't help but ask, are there that many women who are this young and have no idea who the father of their children are? I'm sure Maury will do paternity tests all the way to the bank until every momma has a baby daddy.

In case you've never saw an episode, here are the Cliffs Notes:

Maury: Here we have Woman who needs to know who the father of 9 month old Baby
Woman: I'm 100% positive that he's the father of this child!
Man: Woman, you aint nothin' but a ho who (Bleeep) everyone in sight. I know that aint my kid! He doesn't even look like me! I don't want anything to do with you or your damn kid!
Maury: When it comes to 9 month old Baby, Man, you are...

Now here is where it gets interesting, either he is or he isn't. First here's what happens if he IS the father.
Maury: ...you are the father!
Woman: What mother(Bleep) I told you! I told you!
Man: Oh, well, I want to take care of my child. I knew that was my child. I love you Woman!

And if he's NOT the father:
Maury: ...you are not the father!
Man: Yeah bitch I told you. You aint nothing but a dirty ho. (He gets in the girls face and sometimes his mother or maybe his new girlfriend is there doing the same) I hate you bitch! Nasty ho!
Woman: (Doesn't say anything and runs backstage crying and hides in a closet)
Maury: We'll find the father, we'll help you!

5 / 27,506 / 3,728

5 Years
27, 506 Injured
3,728 Dead

This is a subject that I've been thinking about writing for a while now and with my recent separation now is as good a time as any. Those three numbers sum up our current operation in Iraq and the numbers will keep rising.

The thing that finally pushed me to write this is a show that I just watched on HBO called Alive Day. The term is something that we used to describe the day that you could have died, but didn't. I was a little skeptical about watching this show because I had a fear that it would be degrading to the service members and it would have a message attached to it; it didn't do either. The producer of the show, James Gandolfini, of Sopranos fame, did the best thing he could do. He shut up, took the focus off of him, and let the Marines and Soldiers speak for themselves. We didn't even see him except for a shot of every interviewee getting their picture taken with him. In doing this he gave the best publicity that any show could ask for, we tuned in to watch something with James Gandolfini and stayed to hear these amazing stories. The injured told their story of what happened and then moved on to their attempts to move on with life. They spoke of the confusion that comes along with their recovery and trying to figure out what to do with their lives.

In this hour long show I saw in those people the faces I've seen for the past eight years. I saw the face of friends that have gone and others that have yet to go. I saw the face of one of our students who didn't come home. I saw the face of a friend, with whom I spent many nights in Pensacola smoking cigarettes, talking about women, and wondering what was going to happen in our futures. He too did not come home.

The point of this is that I don't care what you think of the war. I don't care what you think of the government. In the end there are the people on the ground doing the dirty work. They are people just like you and me. "Without people we are nothing." Ponder on that!

Joe Strummer - Redemption Song

The Future Is Written

Today I found that the job I interviewed for here in Baltimore is the route I'm going to take. They offered more money and I don't have the heartache of moving and getting Quentin back in another school. I still love Virginia and hope to return there someday, but for right now this was the best route. It gets my foot in the door with a company that I really like and have many friends that work for them. I haven't heard bad words about this company either, which makes me feel better about the whole thing.

The "Phone Company" came to me with an offer first and until today it was the only offer I had. It put me back in Virginia and it took me to the building that I worked in while I was there. I was happy there and I had some really good people around me. The down side was that the Phone Company wasn't willing to help me out much. I don't expect them to bend over backwards for me, but there was no flexibility at all. They wanted me to start on the September 17 and they wanted me to do it knowing that I couldn't leave Baltimore until September 1 at the earliest. If I was alone, I would have started work after the long weekend, but I would have had to pull Quentin from school and get another address down there to enroll him in another one. I also would have to pay two rents until this lease was up which would have been at least the first of October. I asked if my start date could be pushed another week and I was told no. I asked if there was any financial help for relocation and I was told no. I asked if there was anything they could do and the only answer I got was they'd give me a few days off that would put me in the negative for my vacation days or take them without pay. So today I said goodbye and told the local company I'd be accepting their offer. I have some paper work to do and hopefully I can start sometime next week.

Until then I get to hang at home and watch movies and read. I started the Harry Potter series and I'm up to the second book; so far so good. I watched "Freedomland" and I tried to watch "Pans Labyrinth" but it's in Spanish and I hate reading my movies. My good friend CJ gave me some other suggestions that I plan on viewing before I go back to the daily grind.

Cleaning Break

This is the first year since 2002 that I have not attended a Dave Matthews Band concert. What the hell? This has been a summer time tradition! It was also the best way to get rid of a girl who I was dating and it even ended a marriage. I say that because I never took the same girl twice. The ex-wife was the first and they all just followed suit from there.

I think the reason that I didn't go this year is because the closest shows to me are either Philly or the other side of DC. It's not just a quick drive to the Beach and back home or to bars or where ever. No it's like a three hour pilgrimage and I guess I just wasn't willing to make it. I did get to see them do a three song set at Live Earth, so I guess that will have to do.

Maybe next summer I'll get back on track and maybe, just maybe, I'll have a repeat accomplice to the show, but I won't hold my breath!

Back to vacuuming the apartment now!

Days at Home

While I am waiting to hear back from another job before I make the jump to Virginia Beach I have made some very interesting observations. The biggest one is TV, and I've been watching a lot of it. The commercials are not geared towards housewives like I would have thought, they are instead trying to get the attention of retirees and disabled. While watching Jeopardy on Game Show Network there was an add for Hoveround which was invented by a guy named Tom Kruse (pronounced like the Scientologist). That was immediately followed up by an add for catheters, and that was actually not something I needed to hear. The Life Alert is back complete with "I've fallen and I can't get up!" Drew Carey still isn't on Price Is Right, they're showing the Barker stock pile. I was a little bummed about that. I really wanted to see how Drew did.

Quentin seems to be doing very well in school. I haven't had a bad report and that gives me a little relief, because I was sure he'd have some sort of listening problem, but the reverse has happened, he's actually better at home than he was before starting school. I was hoping that school would be good for him.

I've gotten some reading done as well and I must say I rather enjoy having no where to go and nothing to do all day. I am looking forward to starting work soon though. I can only do this for so long before I go completely nuts!

Goodbye Scarlet/Gold Road

Today I said goodbye to my life as I knew it for the past eight years. This was my last day on active duty. I've got a little over a month of time where I'm still considered active, but it's like a big vacation. I don't have to go work and I don't have to cut my hair or shave everyday, so that's a relief because I hate shaving everyday. I've got a job lined up in Virginia that I'm sort of wrestling with, but we'll get into that some other day. Today was very bittersweet for me, it was very surreal to be honest. I realize that I'm not going to be in the military anymore but at the same time it felt like a normal Friday. Eight years of normal Fridays and it really did go by fast.

There have been some good times; Pensacola, Biloxi, New Orleans, Virginia Beach; and there have been some bad times; Parris Island, Camp Lejeune, Virginia Beach; but over all it's been a great experience. It didn't really do well to set me up for the real world because we got a lot handed to us that I'm just not going to have anymore, but it got me out of Pennsylvania and living at home and forced me to grow up and live on my own by paying rent and bills and buying my own stuff. Sometimes I'm ready for the "real world" and other times I feel like I'm moving out of my mom's for the first time all over again.

I am ready to go though. I'm not leaving because I'm disgruntled at the Marine Corps, but at the same time I'm ready to grow up and find out who Adam Parson is and leave behind who Sergeant Parson was. I'll always have a piece of him with me but there is this whole other life that is on the other side of the door for me. I'll have some stability that won't force me to move every three years or so. To be honest I will kind of miss that. I liked going to a new place and seeing new things, no matter how much I bitched about it. I've got a child to worry about though and I have to do what I think is best for the both of us. What I think is best is staying in one spot and not having the dogs of deployment barking on the front porch. I never tried to hide from deployments, but I don't want to leave my child if I don't have to.

There are some things I'm going to miss, but here's what I won't:
1. Formations. They may look good from the other side, but please come stand in one.
2. Forced running/exercise.
3. Constant bashing of my music choices. I like John Lennon and I like a strange little bi-sexual named Ani. Deal with it! Oh by the way I enjoy listening to Bob Dylan too!
4. There are other news sources out there not named Fox.
5. Green shorts. I have underwear longer than these things.
6. The fear of change. Don't be scared of new cammies and running suits.
7. Constant bashing of all things gay. They're gay, so what. They won't pervert you any worse than you are already. They may even enlighten you to some things that you never knew existed.
8. I'm 26 years old and I know how my uniform should fit me. I don't need an inspection every October telling me that.
9. Stamping my last name on every piece of clothing I own. Yes I even had to put "Parson" on my underwear and socks.
10. Admin and Supply acting like it's their money. If I'm entitled to it, give it to me.
11. Change of Command ceremonies that are in the hottest part of the year at damn near the hottest time of day.
12. Yes I am a Sergeant, but you know what, Colonel? I'm not stupid. I could have a very good conversation with you on a wide variety of topics because I too have read more than Playboy; they do have some great articles though (once you're done looking at the pictures)!

So Gentle Reader, there you have it! Please stay tuned for the adventures in post military life. It should be interesting and you will have a good read as I press on with my child in tow.