Men's Room Follies

Just when I thought I didn't have any material left for the month a douche bag co-worker swooped in and saved the day.

I was in the mens room alone. I finished, zipped, flushed, and heard the door. As I stepped over to wash I hear, "You don't always have to use the short one, man." I replied, "I'm short. I do. Shut up." He replied with an awkward chuckle. For those of you that don't know, I'm 5'5" and I'm perfectly happy with my height (mostly because I know it's something that I can't change). Secondly, I use the one proportional to my height and therefore avoid unwanted mess. And, finally, the shut up was a preemptive strike against the obligatory dick joke that would surly follow as well as letting him know that I didn't wish to discuss this.

The biggest thing that bothers me about this is not my toilet selection, but the fact that I hate being spoken to while I'm in the men's room. There are two things you don't do, when the boss asks if there are any questions at the end of a meeting you don't ask and you never talk in the men's room.

To top it all off this is the same co-worker that came in yesterday and started asking me about building web sites, like I care at 3:30. He wanted to know how to build a MySpace or Facebook type thing. I told him that it wouldn't work because that market has already passed, no one is going to leave the Space, the Book, or that other one for some start up page. After many attempts to show him I didn't care ("How do you build websites?" "I don't know, I don't care. I go home and sit in front of the TV.") he still rambled on about how much money he thinks would be in it. I stopped listening and went back to looking at the Space. He got the point and left shortly after.

Two days in a row this guy screwed up my otherwise pleasant work week.

When we have a meeting again I'm waiting for this assbag to ask the boss if we can all meet in the mens room for further discussion.

May I Take Your Order?

I'm so sick of the fast food industry! I still love me some fast food, but I'm sick of the combo meals and the gallons of soda that come with them. When the combo meals were first introduced it was a wonderful idea. I could get the items I usually ordered together in a fairly priced package by saying a number, grabbing my order, and going on my way. It had normal size fries and normal sized drinks and if I wanted more I could request a Super Size! Soon after the sodas started taking over and they have been growing ever since.

Taco Bell started first, you order the five soft taco combo and the employee would hand you forty ounces of Pepsi. (What am I going to do with this? It's not like I can put it in the fridge for later. This damn thing barely fits in the cup holder.) The other chains followed suit and next thing I know my lunch time ended up like a night at the movies. "Would you like a popcorn the size of Rhode Island for only a quarter more?" "Sure, why not?" Smalls became mediums, mediums became larges, and larges became toddlers. No longer could I have passengers in the truck because the soda was strapped in the safety seat next to me.

From now on I guess I'm stuck ordering small combo meals. The problem with small combo meals is that the drink is what a medium used to be, but the small fries are still small if not smaller.

It's a cruel world.

Fun With the Camera Phone.

I have one coworker who has so much crap that one person can barely fit into the cubicle which is about 7' x 7'. I am a little messy when it comes to desks but no where near this. My idea of a mess is some random papers in a pile or maybe yesterdays unwashed coffee mug. What's even better is that this co-worker drives a little Prius and that is also loaded up with so much crap that only the driver seat is available. I climbed on the desk of the cube next door to give you the full view:



I also work with a lot of bad fashion. It's hard to pick the worst, but I definitely found the brightest:

To be fair, my son has a bright green polo just like this, but I make sure he wears it with darker pants to dim it down. This guy's color combo is like sun on snow when he's under the florescent lights of the office.

I guess Obama isn't the only elitist this year.

Public Service Announcement

I want you to go read this posting from Skippy and then come back. I'll be right here waiting for you like Richard Marx. GO! NOW!

I want to echo everything Skippy says. If I have any readers out there who are going through stuff and you don't have anyone to open up to, by all means, open up here. I've seen way too much of this stuff get pushed aside by military members not wanting to appear soft or weak or what ever. It's like Ramshackle Sr. said to me, "A real man isn't afraid to ask for help when he needs it."

I knew a lot of folks when I was on active duty that didn't have family around them like I do, so it can be tough and you may think you're alone, but there are a lot of people out there who want to help; all you have to do is ask.

Debate Your Side

While I was in the military I had tunnel vision of my beliefs. I was surrounded by a very conservative group and that greatly affected how I viewed the world. We were also restricted from truly speaking our minds, if you agreed with the leadership you could speak up but if you disagreed you had to walk a very fine line in voicing your opinion. Since I'm now free to decide and say what I want I'm taking second looks my beliefs are and how I truly stand. I've also purposely involved myself in political discussions and debates via on-line message boards, I would encourage everyone to do this because you can say you feel strongly about an issue all day long, but when you are forced to defend it you find out if it's real or not. A word of caution: the on-line community is harsh and if you are easily offended, this may not be your best outlet.

In the last election people heavily criticized John Kerry for being a "flip-flopper" and I'm guilty of it too, but the more I thought about it the more I came to see that as a good thing. You have to be careful to not just go with what's popular, but if you take time to do research and find as many facts as you can and then change your opinion on something, I have no problem with that. I was a big supporter of the current administration and I am not ashamed to say that I voted for it twice because that was who I believed represented me at the time. Now that I've done some research and read countless reports and just watched what they've done along the way I am no longer a supporter. With this coming election, John McCain doesn't represent what I believe in, Obama does. End of story. If the next election rolls around and the Republican is the one that I like, well then that's who I'll support.

The point again, folks, is think on your own, do research, listen to all sides, gather facts, and don't blindly follow party lines. The left can be just as dangerous as the right.

Sergeant Hannah Montana's Playboy

There are a few things on my radar today and they are actually similar in nature so bear with me for a bit and you'll see my point.

First up is this little Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus picture drama. When I look at these photos, and this one, I don't think that they are that bad (then I immediately search the room for Chris Hansen) but, this leads to a few other questions. The first is: did she do anything different than what any other teen does on their MySpace and Facebook pages? That question leads me to this question: have we whored up our teen culture that much that we don't find these alarming anymore? When my generation was sixteen we were horny just like every generation before us, but the difference is that we didn't have the Internet to share our teases. In this light, I don't think they're different in what they're doing, but rather how they do it. We had to wait until no adults were around to see green bras and if we took pictures we had to then wait to get them developed, but then we ran the risk of our parents finding them.

The thing that bothers me most about these photos is the reaction of certain conservative groups who called for her to apologize and wanted her taken off the air. This is nothing more than a few trying to impose their morals on the many; I didn't find them a problem, most people that I talked to didn't care either, and I certainly didn't stop my son from watching her show. This is a problem not limited to teen pop stars however, it has spread all the way to the federal government and we now have something called the Military Honor and Decency Act, this act would, basically, ban the selling of Playboy magazine on the military installations.

What really drew me into this debate were these two blog postings by Skippy, who is against it (1 and 2) and this one from a conservative Army wife named Amy Proctor, who was very much in favor. As a former military member I despise this law, mostly because it seeks to take away some of the few freedoms our troops have and it is, again, trying to impose a select group's morals on the masses.

I don't care if it's Christianity or Miley Cyrus' green underwear, because either way, I am free to decide what offends me and what doesn't and I don't need the government, the media, or the aforementioned groups telling me what to think. If the selling of Playboy in the military stores offends you, well maybe I'm suffering from lung cancer and the selling of cigarettes offends me. Why are you not calling for those to be barred from sale also? At least Playboy doesn't cause cancer; however it may cause blindness!

Whether you are for or against this bill, write to your Representative and let them know. They may not read it, but at least you will have spoken up and not kept your thoughts hidden. If you are for it though, I hope you don't write.

Until next time: Cheers, Beers, and Playboy Bunny Ears!

Endorse This!

Because I act like an old man I've been falling asleep with the TV on and the sleep timer set. I've learned that even falling asleep with the TV on takes some thought, while the History Channel would put some to sleep in record time, it will actually keep me up, so I put it on the news channels to see what they are telling me to believe today.

Last night I listened to the rantings of Keith Olbermann and others on his show. They were talking about John Edwards not publicly endorsing either Hilldo or Barry-O and my first thought is, "Who flippin' cares?" Are there people out there who are so absent from their own minds that they have to see who is endorsing who before they decide? We have heard countless stories of who celebrities are supporting. I have also read the websites of several bands and who they are supporting. That's nice but, please people...

Think for yourselves!

The best part about not thinking for yourself is that if Governor X endorses Candidate Y there is something in it for X. So Joe Schmoe chillin' on his couch waiting for someone else to tell him how to vote is helping X move up in the world. I've always heard you should watch out for "old number one" but in doing this you are not! Do some reasearch and figure out who best represents what you believe and would do what's best for the country. No candidate is going to get rid of your debt, make you like your job, or fix most of the woes in your life but, if the past eight years have shown anything, they can put the wheels in motion to affect a lot in this country. Who ever you pick, don't do it on a whim!

If you are reading this, you are on a wonderful thing called the internet. Use it to do some research about those running for office from the presidency all the way down to your city council. You will learn about them, why they are there, what they stand for, and maybe where they will want to go. If nothing else you will have bettered yourself and can hold an intelligent conversation on the topic.

Up For Review

Since I'm giving serious thought to pursuing journalism some day I figured I'd take this opportunity for a concert review. All constructive criticism is welcome.

Last night I took Dad to see the Moody Blues, his favorite band of all time, and, I must say, that I was pleasantly surprised. They played a two hour set that included material spanning their long and illustrious career that sounded well in the acoustics at the Lyric Opera House in Baltimore. The setting was fantastic and they sounded like I imagine they would have in their heyday.

The one thing that could not be overlooked was the crowd; the baby boomer's have all grown up. They moved a little slower, had less hair, and sat more than they stood; this was especially humorous when the band played Are You Sitting Comfortably. It took a few songs before they got the blood flowing but when they did you could feel the energy rise both on stage and off. The aging process was not lost on the Moodys either, with Graeme Edge making a comment that he wrote a song almost 40 years ago when, "my hair was brown and my teeth were white."

The musicianship of the original trio and four supporting musicians was right on par with the dusty vinyl sitting on my shelves. This was proven beyond all doubt on Isn't Life Strange with elaborate guitar solos, a pair of drummers, keyboardists, and a flutist all playing with precision and flawless transitions. The obligatory Nights In White Satin sounded fresh and was played with the raw emotion in which it was originally written. It was, surprisingly, not reserved for the finale, that was instead given to Question and Ride My Seesaw.

Overall the volume was set at a comfortable level, they weren't so loud your ears rang and they weren't so quiet that you couldn't tell what was going on.The sound quality was not with out flaws, however. John Lodge's microphone was a tad low, and when performing some of the lead vocals it became even more obvious. Justin Hayward's guitar had a tendency to overshadow the other instruments at various points too. As the night wound down the sound engineer made the necessary adjustments and toned it down a bit so that it blended with the rest of the band nicely.

Having never been to one of their shows before, I cannot compare it with a performance of the past, but in my own concert experiences this one is high on the list. I can say with all certainty that I would go back and catch their show anytime. The setting, the sound, the people, and the band made a combination that all shows should strive to achieve.

I. Can't. Remember. Dammit!

Every morning, I have brilliant blog ideas that I plan on sharing with you all when I get to work. However by the time I make it around the beltway, I have completely forgotten what I wanted to write about. This has now happened two days in a row. Maybe I should carry a notebook and write down key words to jog my memory.

Six months! Come on, Harold, it's a hockey season!

I've been here six months now and things are OK. I've had some ups and downs, but overall I pretty much get paid to do brainless work. Here are some observations of the past six months:

I got a pretty good raise for my evaluations which is hilarious because I do the least amount of work of the three in my office. If someone comes in and needs something fixed, I go try to fix it. If it's something that I cannot fix, I pass it off to someone who has a lot of certifications to mess with. After eight years of "management" it's nice not to deal with it. In A Few Good Men, Lieutenant Weinberg has a line that he repeats a few times, "I have no real responsibility here, what so ever." I couldn't agree more!

So far there is only one person who really appreciates the sarcasm of yours truly. I guess it's better than none. Most around here smile and chuckle awkwardly when I make a crack about something.

I drink a lot of water and coffee which means I pee a lot. Just about every time I'm in there, I notice two things, blatant disregard for Men's Room Etiquette and the same pair of shoes showing from under the stall. That's a lot of poopin' for one day!

United States of Hypocrisy

Let me start by saying I don't really care about Elliot Spitzer, he was New York's Governor, not Maryland and he wasn't responsible for paying bills in the House of Adam.

What irritates me about this whole situation is the contradictory fashion in which the elected officials operate. There are an abundance of anti-gay Congressional members who are caught up in homosexual scandals. Now we have a guy who campaigned to bust up prostitution who sure enough got brought down for buying a hooker.

There is another thing that really irks me about this. Why isn't prostitution legal? Just think of how many more tax payers we'll get to help pay for Iraq! If people want to buy them selves some sex, they're going to do it anyway so why not reap the rewards? Just think about it like this: You go to your nearest downtown corner, spot the hooker you want, ask her to lift her skirt, and if she has the U.S. Seal of Approval across her girl parts (think: tops of booze bottles) then you're all set to have some good, clean, legal sex! After you take her back to the corner she heads off to the physician to get checked out and have her seal replaced for the next "John". Disease free romps and a new group of tax payers; everyone wins. We could tell the troops that many women in America are down on they're knees for you tonight, and some of them are in prayer.

Of course, I'm willing to bet that the senators and representatives from Nevada would throw a fit because no one would have to go to Reno anymore.

Speaking of which, if I ever go to congress, my argument for the legalization would be both the tax base and the fact that over half the room uses them anyway; the rest are thinking about it.

Hightlight Reel

I don't really have anything good to write about. Not too much has been going on. So, let's go to the film!

- I joined a bowling league. This sounds rather strange, but I've bowled since I was a little kid and I rather enjoy doing it. Once a week, on Wednesday to be precise, I am forced to get out of my house and I also get a few hours off from parenting. I'm not great, but I'm not bad so it's a good time overall. The biggest problem is that people like to try and give you advice on your game. They mean no harm and they do it out of their love for the game, but it tends to just simply confuse you and you end up looking goofy.

- Most of you know that I have heavily contemplated walking away from the IT field and going back to school for something else. I really see this happening sometime in the near future. This is another area where people may mean well, but really they just rain on your parade. I have in my head a few career options and a lot of people feel the need to tell me how horrible my choices are. To that I say, "Thanks, but are you me?" I know what I'm doing and if it doesn't work out then I will move on and try again. There is no law that says we have to do one thing and do it for the rest of our lives. If my career choice is so bad, I'll find out. I know there's money in the IT field and I love having money, but the bottom line is that I hate it and I don't want to do it. Go read In It But Not Of It this guy went o law school and didn't become a lawyer. The best part is all the lawyers I know like there careers, but agree with what he did.

- I am convinced that Quentin is deaf. That boy doesn't listen! Oh he's hearing me, but he ain't listening to me. "Did you pick up your room?" "Oh, no Dad. I forgot." I told him 30 times to pick up his room one night. I think Bill Cosby was right when he said, "Children have brain damage."

- We have some soft people in my office. They are the epitome of what I like to call Telephone Tough Guys. They will talk a good game when no one is looking, but when one of the bosses are around, they fold like a lawn chair. Now I don't pick fights, but I stand up for my self and I don't accept people talking down to me. I tell people what I think but I do it in a way that is not disrespectful. That is the one thing that I learned from my time as a Military Police Officer, all the people I issued tickets to outranked me by a lot and it was my job to tell them they were wrong but I had to do it in a way that they could not honestly tell someone that I disrespected them. It's a fine line to walk but when you walk it people tend to respect you more.

- I've become pretty valued and respected here in the office and I've done it all only working the required eight hours a day. I actually don't understand how people don't get work done in this amount of time. I get it done, done right, and have time to chill on GMail. My child may be brain damaged, but he gets as much of my time as I can give him.

Perhaps the strangest thing to happen:
- I got a phone call from a lady identifying herself as Mrs. Coworker. I have met her once, but, OK, I'll play along. She starts asking me about e-mails that I supposedly sent Mr Coworker that were, "sexually suggestive". Now before you go questioning my manhood, they came from Ms Coworker's account. (So you have this straight: single female coworker, married male coworker, and married male coworker's wife.) The gerbil in my head jumped on his wheel, the lights started to get brighter, and I was able to piece together her hysterics. This guy and the single coworker were talking dirty via e-mail. The wife found out and confronted him, he then said it was me who got into the single lady's e-mail account and was playing a practical joke on him. (Error 404: Humor Not Found. If I'm going to play a practical joke, I'm going to put glue on your keyboard, not waste my time of hacking someones e-mail account to send you naughty messages. That's lame!) He picked the wrong dude for his cover, I don't support that crap. So I told the wife that I wasn't involved and she should talk to her husband again. I expected some sort of confrontation on Monday morning only to be greeted by the sound of silence. He never mentioned it and I never did either. Maybe he realized that he picked a bad cover and that'll be it.

Modern Or Classic

As some of you know I acquired my parent's record collection recently. I am now the proud owner of records that span from the late 60's to the late 80's; that's when we got our first CD player. I remember these albums growing up and they are very special to me. When I listen to them now they take me back to my childhood when Dad and (mostly) Mom would play them and it feels like I'm a little kid in the front room of the house again. I'm also introducing Quentin to a whole new generation of music as my family had done for me, so now my hope is that this music will hold a place for him as well.

Now on to more important issues! Talking to Dad the other night, I was sharing my joy at playing the records and how my TV watching has dropped since I stared spinning them; I still break for hockey though. I also told him that I wanted to buy more of them because there is just a different feeling when you play a record versus other forms of media. He sounded a little puzzled and said, "Why not just buy them on CD or via iTunes?" A valid question if you ask me, so I stated like any other vinyl snob that it sounded better on vinyl; Dad said he wasn't so sure about that. So I set out to test this theory and this morning I did! I donned my Sony headphones and found all of the CD's that I also have on record and lined them up. My control group was Billy Joel, The Clash, and The Beatles. A varied group and also varied ages for extra reliability in the results.

I started by playing one song on record and then again on CD but I only noticed minor differences. I then decided that I would cue them at the same time and switch back and forth to see if I notice the difference. This method worked the best and I can finally say that I have settled which is better. The answer is: they're the same. There are differences so minor that they should hardly even be talked about. The biggest thing is the volume; CD's tend to be a little bit louder. Other than that the most common thing was that CD's tend to have a little more of a "treble" sound while the records lean toward a more "bass" sound; this is the "warm" sound that vinyl affectionados point to.

In my opinion, however, I still prefer the record for listening and the CD for reliability. Why? Well the record doesn't bring on a feeling of ear fatigue. When music is recorded now, it is cranked up so high that our ears notice even if we don't initially; this is the biggest complaint of MP3's also. Records have a softer smoother sound, even with their hisses and pops. Records don't seem as distant as CD's, they seem to be closest to the real thing as you can get.

I'm no scientist of sound, but that is my very uneducated observation.

Why Is It

That I can roll around bed all night, never getting comfortable, never getting quality sleep, until the alarm is five minutes away from going off. Then, and only then, do I find comfort and peace...just in time to get up!

Frame of Mind

For random readers todays entry will make no sense. To the regulars, you'll figure it out pretty quick I'm sure. Also I'm going to throw out the warning that today's entry is pretty emotional and I will proceed to wash the sand out of my pants and get back to bitching about work as soon as I'm done typing. I have decided not to allow comments on this posting. These are my thoughts and comments will just accelerate arguments I wish to alleviate.

When someone meddles in others lives they may get a little upset, especially when it's uninvited. To then turn around and be shocked that you received some backlash is a very juvenile frame of thought. Maybe you should stand on your porch and look in your own front door before you look in someone else's window. Not once, unless I was asked, did I tell anyone how to live their life. I understand they may have been trying to stand up for someone, but they should also be open to both sides of the argument. I'm not free of blame, but I will not accept all of it either. This argument was not new, it just became a big deal when everyone else felt they had to be part of it.

Why do people feel as if they know your thoughts? Why are they so quick to pass judgment on you when all you were trying to do was be honest? I don't look at myself as a hurtful person and I find no joy in hurting people. I have tried to pretend to be an asshole in the past, but when I found people not liking me, I found it hurt more than I could stand. I want to be liked by everyone and if they don't I don't want the reason to be that I am a mean person. If someone wants my opinion, I will give them the truth and I will not just say what they want to hear. Everyone can rest assured that I don't pass judgment, I let people lead their lives and make their mistakes. I never blame people for their mistakes until they make them repeatedly. You have to learn something from them.

I made a mistake and from it I learned that there is no good day to break some bad news and even when it is unintentional, that same bad news can hurt someone. I am sorry that I hurt someone. But I will say it again, and for the last time, my intention was not to hurt, my intention was to be honest. I wish that they could stop for a second and look at it from my prospective. Should I have continue to hide how I truly feel or should I be honest so we can deal with the hurt and maybe salvage any possible friendship?If you feel that no friendship can be had, than please, feel free to move along with your lives and not make me feel bad and I will do the same for you. I have enough respect to grant you that much. I would hope they would have the same respect for me.

I like to think of myself as a good person and I like to think of myself as a good role model for my son. I have not and will not have screwing with peoples emotions as part of my enjoyment routine. I wish nothing but happiness for everyone, even those that have done me wrong. Life is too short to hold grudges, I am guilty of holding a couple though; it happens to the best of us. I want to be accepted and liked by all, but I will not compromise my integrity to gain that acceptance either.

One final note; this was not directed at anyone in particular, but instead it was directed at several of them. These are my final thoughts on what happened. I will only discuss what will happen in the future. If you would like to discuss the future, you know where to find me. I've never tried to hide.

A-Praise Adam!

I just received an e-mail from Boss-Number-One telling me that I have to fill out an Employee Self Appraisal. All I can say is, "What the hell is this shit?" How can you honestly ask the employee to rate the job s/he's done? If corporate reads these things do they really take them seriously? I think even a nun would make her self look like Employee of the Year on these things.

It comes complete with prefabricated questions to answer:

1. Briefly describe duties and responsibilities during the performance period. Include proposal and marketing efforts.

2. Describe significant accomplishments, achievements, and disappointments.

3. Describe views on development needs and goals for the upcoming performance period. Include work, education and training objectives.


It's like my theory on steroids in baseball. If everyone is juicing, you have essentially made everyone equal again, so there is no point. So with all of us bull shitting our way through these appraisals I'd like to think that maybe they can see what kind of people they have on their payroll, but I doubt it. I think when you make a certain salary you lose all touch with reality and common sense. You then start speaking in buzz words and find thing that you think are motivators, but really they just make you look stupid.

Work To My Advantage

If you are on my Gmail IM list you noticed that my status was "Loves Bad Reviews" you also know the reason, but for the other people, who aren't my mom, who read this allow me to tell you about my wonderful work place for a moment!

Last Friday the IT shop received our weekly reviews from the students and teachers. Normally we get a cheap shot or two because we couldn't recover data for someone who never bothered to save it in the first place or I didn't navigate away from the aforementioned Gmail IM to be at their desk as soon as they hung up the phone, it's never too big of a deal. This class however has the perception is that we don't do much and we have been verbally abused the last couple weeks.

Some of the reasons for this are that we are a small shop and we have to prioritize our tasks. The other guys do it based on severity of the problem and your position on the food chain. I prioritize based on how nice you are to me and if your a woman, that breaks down again as to how hot you are. We also have the ability to fix problems through something called Remote Desktop. This program allows me to log into any computer on our network with out leaving my cube! Lazy IT nerds created this program for other lazy IT nerds because they don't want to have to leave World of Warcraft for too long. I have no problem saying that I'm lazy and I also hate being lazy but I want to not be lazy on my own terms (playing golf, hockey, guitar, etc.).

So incredibly long story just a tad longer, the director bitched to the lead contractor, who bitched to the assistant lead contractor, who bitched to the IT manager, who bitched to us. See how unnecessarily long that chain is? The end result is that we have to make more of an effort to go out and help the masses face to face. I don't have too much problem with that, it just means more "BRB" on Gmail. The real kicker though is this: we have to turn in daily reports on what we did that day. This is absurd because we already have a web based trouble ticket system that a drunk monkey could figure out how to use (it uses small words). This system has all the required information that would be in this daily report that I now have to type. Information like, time, date, problem, etc. So now I'm duplicating what is already recorded. Did I lose you yet?

When I discussed this with CJ, via Gmail IM of course, I decided to make things up.

-IMing with friends would be Remote Office Communications Assistance
-Going to take a leak would be Server File Transfer
-Getting lunch is now Installing Virus Protection
-If I have a lunch that makes me constipated and I spend some time on the can it will be known as Mail Server Back Up. If it's a Mexican or Chinese food day it's, of course, a Complete Data Dump and System Recovery (hopefully I'll recover anyway).

Pizza, Beer, and the Web

As I sit here trying to kill the last 15 minuets of work (It should be half an hour, but in my world 15 minutes is just as good, as long as it benefits me by coming in late or leaving early.) I have been subjected to the conversation of two nerds. They are discussing web development and the software that is involved with it and I couldn't care less. I wouldn't want to do this crap on my own free time. It's like the time I served pizza at the Pimlico race track, I looked at pizza all day and by the end of my shift I smelled like a giant slice of pepperoni special. Because of that I couldn't go near a pizza for the next two weeks. The strange part is that I also served beer, but I happily drank that when I got home, so maybe there is something to these guys doing web design while sitting in their parents basements talking to their on-line girlfriends.

Moody Blues

I'm in a bit of a mood today and I don't know why. It's a weird mood, I'm angry with out being mad; I'm tired, but don't want to sleep, I hate people, but I want to be social. I have been in a rut lately though. I'm just so stressed about being grown up and a single parent that I just want to run and hide.

A big problem is that I am used to be being a single parent but, more challenges have presented themselves since Quentin started school. He now has a lot more to do when he gets home, we have homework, projects, reading, and other school stuff. (It really is amazing what these kids are doing at such a young age. I remember kindergarten as another play land with occasional writing.) We also have to somehow get dinner and shower time in there too. Lately I find myself wanting to just want to plop my ass down on the couch and watch television or read my Rolling Stone.

Before he started school, he came home and played while I cooked. We would eat and then play followed by shower and a reading a little bit of some book before bed. I had an easier time balancing time and effort. I also wasn't constantly worn out and that is something is really bothering me. I don't know if my work inactivity or what, but I'm so fatigued when I get home. I had a job a few years ago that was very stationary and I remember the same problems. I had a job after that one and before this one that kept me moving all day and that carried over to the home front. I'm going to go out on a scientific limb here and guess that my desk job and my active job caused these two attitudes at home.

So, fair readers, I'm going to guess it's time for me to start figuring out a new career path. I hate being lazy and that is all that is going to come out of this.

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