Let me start by saying I don't really care about Elliot Spitzer, he was New York's Governor, not Maryland and he wasn't responsible for paying bills in the House of Adam.
What irritates me about this whole situation is the contradictory fashion in which the elected officials operate. There are an abundance of anti-gay Congressional members who are caught up in homosexual scandals. Now we have a guy who campaigned to bust up prostitution who sure enough got brought down for buying a hooker.
There is another thing that really irks me about this. Why isn't prostitution legal? Just think of how many more tax payers we'll get to help pay for Iraq! If people want to buy them selves some sex, they're going to do it anyway so why not reap the rewards? Just think about it like this: You go to your nearest downtown corner, spot the hooker you want, ask her to lift her skirt, and if she has the U.S. Seal of Approval across her girl parts (think: tops of booze bottles) then you're all set to have some good, clean, legal sex! After you take her back to the corner she heads off to the physician to get checked out and have her seal replaced for the next "John". Disease free romps and a new group of tax payers; everyone wins. We could tell the troops that many women in America are down on they're knees for you tonight, and some of them are in prayer.
Of course, I'm willing to bet that the senators and representatives from Nevada would throw a fit because no one would have to go to Reno anymore.
Speaking of which, if I ever go to congress, my argument for the legalization would be both the tax base and the fact that over half the room uses them anyway; the rest are thinking about it.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Friday, March 07, 2008
Hightlight Reel
I don't really have anything good to write about. Not too much has been going on. So, let's go to the film!
- I joined a bowling league. This sounds rather strange, but I've bowled since I was a little kid and I rather enjoy doing it. Once a week, on Wednesday to be precise, I am forced to get out of my house and I also get a few hours off from parenting. I'm not great, but I'm not bad so it's a good time overall. The biggest problem is that people like to try and give you advice on your game. They mean no harm and they do it out of their love for the game, but it tends to just simply confuse you and you end up looking goofy.
- Most of you know that I have heavily contemplated walking away from the IT field and going back to school for something else. I really see this happening sometime in the near future. This is another area where people may mean well, but really they just rain on your parade. I have in my head a few career options and a lot of people feel the need to tell me how horrible my choices are. To that I say, "Thanks, but are you me?" I know what I'm doing and if it doesn't work out then I will move on and try again. There is no law that says we have to do one thing and do it for the rest of our lives. If my career choice is so bad, I'll find out. I know there's money in the IT field and I love having money, but the bottom line is that I hate it and I don't want to do it. Go read In It But Not Of It this guy went o law school and didn't become a lawyer. The best part is all the lawyers I know like there careers, but agree with what he did.
- I am convinced that Quentin is deaf. That boy doesn't listen! Oh he's hearing me, but he ain't listening to me. "Did you pick up your room?" "Oh, no Dad. I forgot." I told him 30 times to pick up his room one night. I think Bill Cosby was right when he said, "Children have brain damage."
- We have some soft people in my office. They are the epitome of what I like to call Telephone Tough Guys. They will talk a good game when no one is looking, but when one of the bosses are around, they fold like a lawn chair. Now I don't pick fights, but I stand up for my self and I don't accept people talking down to me. I tell people what I think but I do it in a way that is not disrespectful. That is the one thing that I learned from my time as a Military Police Officer, all the people I issued tickets to outranked me by a lot and it was my job to tell them they were wrong but I had to do it in a way that they could not honestly tell someone that I disrespected them. It's a fine line to walk but when you walk it people tend to respect you more.
- I've become pretty valued and respected here in the office and I've done it all only working the required eight hours a day. I actually don't understand how people don't get work done in this amount of time. I get it done, done right, and have time to chill on GMail. My child may be brain damaged, but he gets as much of my time as I can give him.
Perhaps the strangest thing to happen:
- I got a phone call from a lady identifying herself as Mrs. Coworker. I have met her once, but, OK, I'll play along. She starts asking me about e-mails that I supposedly sent Mr Coworker that were, "sexually suggestive". Now before you go questioning my manhood, they came from Ms Coworker's account. (So you have this straight: single female coworker, married male coworker, and married male coworker's wife.) The gerbil in my head jumped on his wheel, the lights started to get brighter, and I was able to piece together her hysterics. This guy and the single coworker were talking dirty via e-mail. The wife found out and confronted him, he then said it was me who got into the single lady's e-mail account and was playing a practical joke on him. (Error 404: Humor Not Found. If I'm going to play a practical joke, I'm going to put glue on your keyboard, not waste my time of hacking someones e-mail account to send you naughty messages. That's lame!) He picked the wrong dude for his cover, I don't support that crap. So I told the wife that I wasn't involved and she should talk to her husband again. I expected some sort of confrontation on Monday morning only to be greeted by the sound of silence. He never mentioned it and I never did either. Maybe he realized that he picked a bad cover and that'll be it.
- I joined a bowling league. This sounds rather strange, but I've bowled since I was a little kid and I rather enjoy doing it. Once a week, on Wednesday to be precise, I am forced to get out of my house and I also get a few hours off from parenting. I'm not great, but I'm not bad so it's a good time overall. The biggest problem is that people like to try and give you advice on your game. They mean no harm and they do it out of their love for the game, but it tends to just simply confuse you and you end up looking goofy.
- Most of you know that I have heavily contemplated walking away from the IT field and going back to school for something else. I really see this happening sometime in the near future. This is another area where people may mean well, but really they just rain on your parade. I have in my head a few career options and a lot of people feel the need to tell me how horrible my choices are. To that I say, "Thanks, but are you me?" I know what I'm doing and if it doesn't work out then I will move on and try again. There is no law that says we have to do one thing and do it for the rest of our lives. If my career choice is so bad, I'll find out. I know there's money in the IT field and I love having money, but the bottom line is that I hate it and I don't want to do it. Go read In It But Not Of It this guy went o law school and didn't become a lawyer. The best part is all the lawyers I know like there careers, but agree with what he did.
- I am convinced that Quentin is deaf. That boy doesn't listen! Oh he's hearing me, but he ain't listening to me. "Did you pick up your room?" "Oh, no Dad. I forgot." I told him 30 times to pick up his room one night. I think Bill Cosby was right when he said, "Children have brain damage."
- We have some soft people in my office. They are the epitome of what I like to call Telephone Tough Guys. They will talk a good game when no one is looking, but when one of the bosses are around, they fold like a lawn chair. Now I don't pick fights, but I stand up for my self and I don't accept people talking down to me. I tell people what I think but I do it in a way that is not disrespectful. That is the one thing that I learned from my time as a Military Police Officer, all the people I issued tickets to outranked me by a lot and it was my job to tell them they were wrong but I had to do it in a way that they could not honestly tell someone that I disrespected them. It's a fine line to walk but when you walk it people tend to respect you more.
- I've become pretty valued and respected here in the office and I've done it all only working the required eight hours a day. I actually don't understand how people don't get work done in this amount of time. I get it done, done right, and have time to chill on GMail. My child may be brain damaged, but he gets as much of my time as I can give him.
Perhaps the strangest thing to happen:
- I got a phone call from a lady identifying herself as Mrs. Coworker. I have met her once, but, OK, I'll play along. She starts asking me about e-mails that I supposedly sent Mr Coworker that were, "sexually suggestive". Now before you go questioning my manhood, they came from Ms Coworker's account. (So you have this straight: single female coworker, married male coworker, and married male coworker's wife.) The gerbil in my head jumped on his wheel, the lights started to get brighter, and I was able to piece together her hysterics. This guy and the single coworker were talking dirty via e-mail. The wife found out and confronted him, he then said it was me who got into the single lady's e-mail account and was playing a practical joke on him. (Error 404: Humor Not Found. If I'm going to play a practical joke, I'm going to put glue on your keyboard, not waste my time of hacking someones e-mail account to send you naughty messages. That's lame!) He picked the wrong dude for his cover, I don't support that crap. So I told the wife that I wasn't involved and she should talk to her husband again. I expected some sort of confrontation on Monday morning only to be greeted by the sound of silence. He never mentioned it and I never did either. Maybe he realized that he picked a bad cover and that'll be it.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Modern Or Classic
As some of you know I acquired my parent's record collection recently. I am now the proud owner of records that span from the late 60's to the late 80's; that's when we got our first CD player. I remember these albums growing up and they are very special to me. When I listen to them now they take me back to my childhood when Dad and (mostly) Mom would play them and it feels like I'm a little kid in the front room of the house again. I'm also introducing Quentin to a whole new generation of music as my family had done for me, so now my hope is that this music will hold a place for him as well.
Now on to more important issues! Talking to Dad the other night, I was sharing my joy at playing the records and how my TV watching has dropped since I stared spinning them; I still break for hockey though. I also told him that I wanted to buy more of them because there is just a different feeling when you play a record versus other forms of media. He sounded a little puzzled and said, "Why not just buy them on CD or via iTunes?" A valid question if you ask me, so I stated like any other vinyl snob that it sounded better on vinyl; Dad said he wasn't so sure about that. So I set out to test this theory and this morning I did! I donned my Sony headphones and found all of the CD's that I also have on record and lined them up. My control group was Billy Joel, The Clash, and The Beatles. A varied group and also varied ages for extra reliability in the results.
I started by playing one song on record and then again on CD but I only noticed minor differences. I then decided that I would cue them at the same time and switch back and forth to see if I notice the difference. This method worked the best and I can finally say that I have settled which is better. The answer is: they're the same. There are differences so minor that they should hardly even be talked about. The biggest thing is the volume; CD's tend to be a little bit louder. Other than that the most common thing was that CD's tend to have a little more of a "treble" sound while the records lean toward a more "bass" sound; this is the "warm" sound that vinyl affectionados point to.
In my opinion, however, I still prefer the record for listening and the CD for reliability. Why? Well the record doesn't bring on a feeling of ear fatigue. When music is recorded now, it is cranked up so high that our ears notice even if we don't initially; this is the biggest complaint of MP3's also. Records have a softer smoother sound, even with their hisses and pops. Records don't seem as distant as CD's, they seem to be closest to the real thing as you can get.
I'm no scientist of sound, but that is my very uneducated observation.
Now on to more important issues! Talking to Dad the other night, I was sharing my joy at playing the records and how my TV watching has dropped since I stared spinning them; I still break for hockey though. I also told him that I wanted to buy more of them because there is just a different feeling when you play a record versus other forms of media. He sounded a little puzzled and said, "Why not just buy them on CD or via iTunes?" A valid question if you ask me, so I stated like any other vinyl snob that it sounded better on vinyl; Dad said he wasn't so sure about that. So I set out to test this theory and this morning I did! I donned my Sony headphones and found all of the CD's that I also have on record and lined them up. My control group was Billy Joel, The Clash, and The Beatles. A varied group and also varied ages for extra reliability in the results.
I started by playing one song on record and then again on CD but I only noticed minor differences. I then decided that I would cue them at the same time and switch back and forth to see if I notice the difference. This method worked the best and I can finally say that I have settled which is better. The answer is: they're the same. There are differences so minor that they should hardly even be talked about. The biggest thing is the volume; CD's tend to be a little bit louder. Other than that the most common thing was that CD's tend to have a little more of a "treble" sound while the records lean toward a more "bass" sound; this is the "warm" sound that vinyl affectionados point to.
In my opinion, however, I still prefer the record for listening and the CD for reliability. Why? Well the record doesn't bring on a feeling of ear fatigue. When music is recorded now, it is cranked up so high that our ears notice even if we don't initially; this is the biggest complaint of MP3's also. Records have a softer smoother sound, even with their hisses and pops. Records don't seem as distant as CD's, they seem to be closest to the real thing as you can get.
I'm no scientist of sound, but that is my very uneducated observation.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Why Is It
That I can roll around bed all night, never getting comfortable, never getting quality sleep, until the alarm is five minutes away from going off. Then, and only then, do I find comfort and peace...just in time to get up!
Monday, February 11, 2008
Frame of Mind
For random readers todays entry will make no sense. To the regulars, you'll figure it out pretty quick I'm sure. Also I'm going to throw out the warning that today's entry is pretty emotional and I will proceed to wash the sand out of my pants and get back to bitching about work as soon as I'm done typing. I have decided not to allow comments on this posting. These are my thoughts and comments will just accelerate arguments I wish to alleviate.
When someone meddles in others lives they may get a little upset, especially when it's uninvited. To then turn around and be shocked that you received some backlash is a very juvenile frame of thought. Maybe you should stand on your porch and look in your own front door before you look in someone else's window. Not once, unless I was asked, did I tell anyone how to live their life. I understand they may have been trying to stand up for someone, but they should also be open to both sides of the argument. I'm not free of blame, but I will not accept all of it either. This argument was not new, it just became a big deal when everyone else felt they had to be part of it.
Why do people feel as if they know your thoughts? Why are they so quick to pass judgment on you when all you were trying to do was be honest? I don't look at myself as a hurtful person and I find no joy in hurting people. I have tried to pretend to be an asshole in the past, but when I found people not liking me, I found it hurt more than I could stand. I want to be liked by everyone and if they don't I don't want the reason to be that I am a mean person. If someone wants my opinion, I will give them the truth and I will not just say what they want to hear. Everyone can rest assured that I don't pass judgment, I let people lead their lives and make their mistakes. I never blame people for their mistakes until they make them repeatedly. You have to learn something from them.
I made a mistake and from it I learned that there is no good day to break some bad news and even when it is unintentional, that same bad news can hurt someone. I am sorry that I hurt someone. But I will say it again, and for the last time, my intention was not to hurt, my intention was to be honest. I wish that they could stop for a second and look at it from my prospective. Should I have continue to hide how I truly feel or should I be honest so we can deal with the hurt and maybe salvage any possible friendship?If you feel that no friendship can be had, than please, feel free to move along with your lives and not make me feel bad and I will do the same for you. I have enough respect to grant you that much. I would hope they would have the same respect for me.
I like to think of myself as a good person and I like to think of myself as a good role model for my son. I have not and will not have screwing with peoples emotions as part of my enjoyment routine. I wish nothing but happiness for everyone, even those that have done me wrong. Life is too short to hold grudges, I am guilty of holding a couple though; it happens to the best of us. I want to be accepted and liked by all, but I will not compromise my integrity to gain that acceptance either.
One final note; this was not directed at anyone in particular, but instead it was directed at several of them. These are my final thoughts on what happened. I will only discuss what will happen in the future. If you would like to discuss the future, you know where to find me. I've never tried to hide.
When someone meddles in others lives they may get a little upset, especially when it's uninvited. To then turn around and be shocked that you received some backlash is a very juvenile frame of thought. Maybe you should stand on your porch and look in your own front door before you look in someone else's window. Not once, unless I was asked, did I tell anyone how to live their life. I understand they may have been trying to stand up for someone, but they should also be open to both sides of the argument. I'm not free of blame, but I will not accept all of it either. This argument was not new, it just became a big deal when everyone else felt they had to be part of it.
Why do people feel as if they know your thoughts? Why are they so quick to pass judgment on you when all you were trying to do was be honest? I don't look at myself as a hurtful person and I find no joy in hurting people. I have tried to pretend to be an asshole in the past, but when I found people not liking me, I found it hurt more than I could stand. I want to be liked by everyone and if they don't I don't want the reason to be that I am a mean person. If someone wants my opinion, I will give them the truth and I will not just say what they want to hear. Everyone can rest assured that I don't pass judgment, I let people lead their lives and make their mistakes. I never blame people for their mistakes until they make them repeatedly. You have to learn something from them.
I made a mistake and from it I learned that there is no good day to break some bad news and even when it is unintentional, that same bad news can hurt someone. I am sorry that I hurt someone. But I will say it again, and for the last time, my intention was not to hurt, my intention was to be honest. I wish that they could stop for a second and look at it from my prospective. Should I have continue to hide how I truly feel or should I be honest so we can deal with the hurt and maybe salvage any possible friendship?If you feel that no friendship can be had, than please, feel free to move along with your lives and not make me feel bad and I will do the same for you. I have enough respect to grant you that much. I would hope they would have the same respect for me.
I like to think of myself as a good person and I like to think of myself as a good role model for my son. I have not and will not have screwing with peoples emotions as part of my enjoyment routine. I wish nothing but happiness for everyone, even those that have done me wrong. Life is too short to hold grudges, I am guilty of holding a couple though; it happens to the best of us. I want to be accepted and liked by all, but I will not compromise my integrity to gain that acceptance either.
One final note; this was not directed at anyone in particular, but instead it was directed at several of them. These are my final thoughts on what happened. I will only discuss what will happen in the future. If you would like to discuss the future, you know where to find me. I've never tried to hide.
Monday, February 04, 2008
A-Praise Adam!
I just received an e-mail from Boss-Number-One telling me that I have to fill out an Employee Self Appraisal. All I can say is, "What the hell is this shit?" How can you honestly ask the employee to rate the job s/he's done? If corporate reads these things do they really take them seriously? I think even a nun would make her self look like Employee of the Year on these things.
It comes complete with prefabricated questions to answer:
1. Briefly describe duties and responsibilities during the performance period. Include proposal and marketing efforts.
2. Describe significant accomplishments, achievements, and disappointments.
3. Describe views on development needs and goals for the upcoming performance period. Include work, education and training objectives.
It's like my theory on steroids in baseball. If everyone is juicing, you have essentially made everyone equal again, so there is no point. So with all of us bull shitting our way through these appraisals I'd like to think that maybe they can see what kind of people they have on their payroll, but I doubt it. I think when you make a certain salary you lose all touch with reality and common sense. You then start speaking in buzz words and find thing that you think are motivators, but really they just make you look stupid.
It comes complete with prefabricated questions to answer:
1. Briefly describe duties and responsibilities during the performance period. Include proposal and marketing efforts.
2. Describe significant accomplishments, achievements, and disappointments.
3. Describe views on development needs and goals for the upcoming performance period. Include work, education and training objectives.
It's like my theory on steroids in baseball. If everyone is juicing, you have essentially made everyone equal again, so there is no point. So with all of us bull shitting our way through these appraisals I'd like to think that maybe they can see what kind of people they have on their payroll, but I doubt it. I think when you make a certain salary you lose all touch with reality and common sense. You then start speaking in buzz words and find thing that you think are motivators, but really they just make you look stupid.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Work To My Advantage
If you are on my Gmail IM list you noticed that my status was "Loves Bad Reviews" you also know the reason, but for the other people, who aren't my mom, who read this allow me to tell you about my wonderful work place for a moment!
Last Friday the IT shop received our weekly reviews from the students and teachers. Normally we get a cheap shot or two because we couldn't recover data for someone who never bothered to save it in the first place or I didn't navigate away from the aforementioned Gmail IM to be at their desk as soon as they hung up the phone, it's never too big of a deal. This class however has the perception is that we don't do much and we have been verbally abused the last couple weeks.
Some of the reasons for this are that we are a small shop and we have to prioritize our tasks. The other guys do it based on severity of the problem and your position on the food chain. I prioritize based on how nice you are to me and if your a woman, that breaks down again as to how hot you are. We also have the ability to fix problems through something called Remote Desktop. This program allows me to log into any computer on our network with out leaving my cube! Lazy IT nerds created this program for other lazy IT nerds because they don't want to have to leave World of Warcraft for too long. I have no problem saying that I'm lazy and I also hate being lazy but I want to not be lazy on my own terms (playing golf, hockey, guitar, etc.).
So incredibly long story just a tad longer, the director bitched to the lead contractor, who bitched to the assistant lead contractor, who bitched to the IT manager, who bitched to us. See how unnecessarily long that chain is? The end result is that we have to make more of an effort to go out and help the masses face to face. I don't have too much problem with that, it just means more "BRB" on Gmail. The real kicker though is this: we have to turn in daily reports on what we did that day. This is absurd because we already have a web based trouble ticket system that a drunk monkey could figure out how to use (it uses small words). This system has all the required information that would be in this daily report that I now have to type. Information like, time, date, problem, etc. So now I'm duplicating what is already recorded. Did I lose you yet?
When I discussed this with CJ, via Gmail IM of course, I decided to make things up.
-IMing with friends would be Remote Office Communications Assistance
-Going to take a leak would be Server File Transfer
-Getting lunch is now Installing Virus Protection
-If I have a lunch that makes me constipated and I spend some time on the can it will be known as Mail Server Back Up. If it's a Mexican or Chinese food day it's, of course, a Complete Data Dump and System Recovery (hopefully I'll recover anyway).
Last Friday the IT shop received our weekly reviews from the students and teachers. Normally we get a cheap shot or two because we couldn't recover data for someone who never bothered to save it in the first place or I didn't navigate away from the aforementioned Gmail IM to be at their desk as soon as they hung up the phone, it's never too big of a deal. This class however has the perception is that we don't do much and we have been verbally abused the last couple weeks.
Some of the reasons for this are that we are a small shop and we have to prioritize our tasks. The other guys do it based on severity of the problem and your position on the food chain. I prioritize based on how nice you are to me and if your a woman, that breaks down again as to how hot you are. We also have the ability to fix problems through something called Remote Desktop. This program allows me to log into any computer on our network with out leaving my cube! Lazy IT nerds created this program for other lazy IT nerds because they don't want to have to leave World of Warcraft for too long. I have no problem saying that I'm lazy and I also hate being lazy but I want to not be lazy on my own terms (playing golf, hockey, guitar, etc.).
So incredibly long story just a tad longer, the director bitched to the lead contractor, who bitched to the assistant lead contractor, who bitched to the IT manager, who bitched to us. See how unnecessarily long that chain is? The end result is that we have to make more of an effort to go out and help the masses face to face. I don't have too much problem with that, it just means more "BRB" on Gmail. The real kicker though is this: we have to turn in daily reports on what we did that day. This is absurd because we already have a web based trouble ticket system that a drunk monkey could figure out how to use (it uses small words). This system has all the required information that would be in this daily report that I now have to type. Information like, time, date, problem, etc. So now I'm duplicating what is already recorded. Did I lose you yet?
When I discussed this with CJ, via Gmail IM of course, I decided to make things up.
-IMing with friends would be Remote Office Communications Assistance
-Going to take a leak would be Server File Transfer
-Getting lunch is now Installing Virus Protection
-If I have a lunch that makes me constipated and I spend some time on the can it will be known as Mail Server Back Up. If it's a Mexican or Chinese food day it's, of course, a Complete Data Dump and System Recovery (hopefully I'll recover anyway).
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Pizza, Beer, and the Web
As I sit here trying to kill the last 15 minuets of work (It should be half an hour, but in my world 15 minutes is just as good, as long as it benefits me by coming in late or leaving early.) I have been subjected to the conversation of two nerds. They are discussing web development and the software that is involved with it and I couldn't care less. I wouldn't want to do this crap on my own free time. It's like the time I served pizza at the Pimlico race track, I looked at pizza all day and by the end of my shift I smelled like a giant slice of pepperoni special. Because of that I couldn't go near a pizza for the next two weeks. The strange part is that I also served beer, but I happily drank that when I got home, so maybe there is something to these guys doing web design while sitting in their parents basements talking to their on-line girlfriends.
Moody Blues
I'm in a bit of a mood today and I don't know why. It's a weird mood, I'm angry with out being mad; I'm tired, but don't want to sleep, I hate people, but I want to be social. I have been in a rut lately though. I'm just so stressed about being grown up and a single parent that I just want to run and hide.
A big problem is that I am used to be being a single parent but, more challenges have presented themselves since Quentin started school. He now has a lot more to do when he gets home, we have homework, projects, reading, and other school stuff. (It really is amazing what these kids are doing at such a young age. I remember kindergarten as another play land with occasional writing.) We also have to somehow get dinner and shower time in there too. Lately I find myself wanting to just want to plop my ass down on the couch and watch television or read my Rolling Stone.
Before he started school, he came home and played while I cooked. We would eat and then play followed by shower and a reading a little bit of some book before bed. I had an easier time balancing time and effort. I also wasn't constantly worn out and that is something is really bothering me. I don't know if my work inactivity or what, but I'm so fatigued when I get home. I had a job a few years ago that was very stationary and I remember the same problems. I had a job after that one and before this one that kept me moving all day and that carried over to the home front. I'm going to go out on a scientific limb here and guess that my desk job and my active job caused these two attitudes at home.
So, fair readers, I'm going to guess it's time for me to start figuring out a new career path. I hate being lazy and that is all that is going to come out of this.
A big problem is that I am used to be being a single parent but, more challenges have presented themselves since Quentin started school. He now has a lot more to do when he gets home, we have homework, projects, reading, and other school stuff. (It really is amazing what these kids are doing at such a young age. I remember kindergarten as another play land with occasional writing.) We also have to somehow get dinner and shower time in there too. Lately I find myself wanting to just want to plop my ass down on the couch and watch television or read my Rolling Stone.
Before he started school, he came home and played while I cooked. We would eat and then play followed by shower and a reading a little bit of some book before bed. I had an easier time balancing time and effort. I also wasn't constantly worn out and that is something is really bothering me. I don't know if my work inactivity or what, but I'm so fatigued when I get home. I had a job a few years ago that was very stationary and I remember the same problems. I had a job after that one and before this one that kept me moving all day and that carried over to the home front. I'm going to go out on a scientific limb here and guess that my desk job and my active job caused these two attitudes at home.
So, fair readers, I'm going to guess it's time for me to start figuring out a new career path. I hate being lazy and that is all that is going to come out of this.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
Parting Shots To The Marine Corps Part 2
It's been four months since I said goodbye to the Marine Corps and all is still well.
I just saw the commercial that lists all the names that Marines are called while showing images of Marines doing what Marines do and I absolutely adore that add. It is by far the best one that they have come up with. It's real. There isn't any slaying of dragons, no climbing up rock walls freehand, or playing chess ala Harry Potter. The tone is somber but also proud. If I could be in charge of advertising, it's exactly the add I would push to the masses. I can honestly say that I feel proud to have been one of them when ever I see it. I'm not a big on text messaging but I sent my good friend Rick a Happy Birthday message on November 10th (the Marine Corps' birthday) and the reply I got summed it all up for me, "You too. Once, always."
As for my daily life: I have taken a job here in Baltimore and have tossed around the idea of the reserves, but ultimately, I decided against it. I loved what I did and the time that I spent, but I'm done. I was proud of my time and I can walk away with my head high about the experience. I accomplished everything that I set out to do and then some more. The one thing that I am most proud of was that on my Fitness Report the highest mark I received was for taking care of subordinates. Nothing brought me more joy than helping junior Marines. It was a way to carry on what my seniors taught to me when I was a junior.
I worked for a Sergeant for the first two years of my enlistment who embodied everything that I wanted to be and I will never forget him, even if I never see him again. If I have one person who remembers me that same way, than my eight years were well spent. To know that I touched someones life is something that no words of mine can convey how much it means to me.
Here is the add that I really like plus one more that really says something. The best part of the second one, is right after "For Courage" there is a girl jumping over an obstacle and she has been jumping that same obstacle since I enlisted. I've seen her in that some pose for eight plus years now. If she was active duty she's probably a Master Sergeant by now. Of course these adds don't show me sitting at my computer going blind from staring at the monitor for 12 hours, but I digress...
I just saw the commercial that lists all the names that Marines are called while showing images of Marines doing what Marines do and I absolutely adore that add. It is by far the best one that they have come up with. It's real. There isn't any slaying of dragons, no climbing up rock walls freehand, or playing chess ala Harry Potter. The tone is somber but also proud. If I could be in charge of advertising, it's exactly the add I would push to the masses. I can honestly say that I feel proud to have been one of them when ever I see it. I'm not a big on text messaging but I sent my good friend Rick a Happy Birthday message on November 10th (the Marine Corps' birthday) and the reply I got summed it all up for me, "You too. Once, always."
As for my daily life: I have taken a job here in Baltimore and have tossed around the idea of the reserves, but ultimately, I decided against it. I loved what I did and the time that I spent, but I'm done. I was proud of my time and I can walk away with my head high about the experience. I accomplished everything that I set out to do and then some more. The one thing that I am most proud of was that on my Fitness Report the highest mark I received was for taking care of subordinates. Nothing brought me more joy than helping junior Marines. It was a way to carry on what my seniors taught to me when I was a junior.
I worked for a Sergeant for the first two years of my enlistment who embodied everything that I wanted to be and I will never forget him, even if I never see him again. If I have one person who remembers me that same way, than my eight years were well spent. To know that I touched someones life is something that no words of mine can convey how much it means to me.
Here is the add that I really like plus one more that really says something. The best part of the second one, is right after "For Courage" there is a girl jumping over an obstacle and she has been jumping that same obstacle since I enlisted. I've seen her in that some pose for eight plus years now. If she was active duty she's probably a Master Sergeant by now. Of course these adds don't show me sitting at my computer going blind from staring at the monitor for 12 hours, but I digress...
F This!
While sitting around watching the Penguins beat the Rangers I decided to do a Google search for "Fuck This" the number one result was "Fuck This Website". There you can buy stickers and submit creative photos using the stickers. I must say that these picture made me laugh and I need a good laugh here and there. I encourage you to have yourself a good laugh and click "thisway" or "thatway" under the "F" and enjoy!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
I Wasn't Hired For My Disposition
For the last couple of days we've had major problems with our computer hardware at the workplace and during which I realized a few things about my job and me:
1. I spent the month of September sitting on my ass watching game shows, sports, and movie channels and I really miss that month.
2. When it came to the workplace the biggest thing is that I am not a "people person". I'm a very social person, but in the corporate setting I'd rather be left alone and I'll touch on that in a moment.
3. The best part of the last few days was that my e-mail was out and that makes me very happy because I hate e-mail. So it was a perfect Adam day because there was no Microsoft Office Assistant asking me if I want to read the stupid corporate e-mail that came through.
(Note: I hate e-mail because of the military. I used to get the same e-mail at least three times. It would start with the Commanding Officer who would send it to everyone that word is key. Then my lieutenant would send it around to his department, then my Master Sergeant would send it to his Sergeants and I was then expected to re-forward it to my peons. I of course would tell everyone that they wasted computer resources and that precious government dollar by clogging our mail servers with 55 copies of the same piece of mail. I even tried to put on my evaluation that I "Saved the government uncountable amounts of money by cutting e-mail traffic by 75%" they where not amused.)
The part of the day that finally made me stress at work was the damn phone. It didn't stop ringing. I actually wanted to go outside and have a cigarette because the phone calls where pissing me off so much; I don't even carry smokes to work anymore. South Park once told me that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who ask questions. That statement has never really hit home before today. I'll give you a sample of a few of my phone interactions. The first ones were polite and I explained that we have some problems but we are working to resolve it and I will spread the word when all is well. The phone calls after that got a little worse because my mouth works faster than my mind sometimes.
Them: Do the printers work?
Me: Not yet, I'm working on it though.
Them: How about e-mail?
Me: Did you try it?
Them: Yeah it didn't work.
Me: Guess it's still out.
Them: When are the printers going to work? What's wrong with them?
Me: I don't know what's wrong yet and if I knew that I would tell you so you wouldn't call anymore.
Them: Well what am I supposed to do? I have a class to teach!
Me: I don't know I can't make these decisions for you.
Them: :slamming phone:
Me: Your welcome
Them: Does anything work.
Me: Not yet
Them: Why not?
Me: I have to keep stopping because the phone continues to ring
Them: That's real helpful (sarcastic tone) :phone slam part two:
I was told that I should try to be more polite.
1. I spent the month of September sitting on my ass watching game shows, sports, and movie channels and I really miss that month.
2. When it came to the workplace the biggest thing is that I am not a "people person". I'm a very social person, but in the corporate setting I'd rather be left alone and I'll touch on that in a moment.
3. The best part of the last few days was that my e-mail was out and that makes me very happy because I hate e-mail. So it was a perfect Adam day because there was no Microsoft Office Assistant asking me if I want to read the stupid corporate e-mail that came through.
(Note: I hate e-mail because of the military. I used to get the same e-mail at least three times. It would start with the Commanding Officer who would send it to everyone that word is key. Then my lieutenant would send it around to his department, then my Master Sergeant would send it to his Sergeants and I was then expected to re-forward it to my peons. I of course would tell everyone that they wasted computer resources and that precious government dollar by clogging our mail servers with 55 copies of the same piece of mail. I even tried to put on my evaluation that I "Saved the government uncountable amounts of money by cutting e-mail traffic by 75%" they where not amused.)
The part of the day that finally made me stress at work was the damn phone. It didn't stop ringing. I actually wanted to go outside and have a cigarette because the phone calls where pissing me off so much; I don't even carry smokes to work anymore. South Park once told me that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who ask questions. That statement has never really hit home before today. I'll give you a sample of a few of my phone interactions. The first ones were polite and I explained that we have some problems but we are working to resolve it and I will spread the word when all is well. The phone calls after that got a little worse because my mouth works faster than my mind sometimes.
Them: Do the printers work?
Me: Not yet, I'm working on it though.
Them: How about e-mail?
Me: Did you try it?
Them: Yeah it didn't work.
Me: Guess it's still out.
Them: When are the printers going to work? What's wrong with them?
Me: I don't know what's wrong yet and if I knew that I would tell you so you wouldn't call anymore.
Them: Well what am I supposed to do? I have a class to teach!
Me: I don't know I can't make these decisions for you.
Them: :slamming phone:
Me: Your welcome
Them: Does anything work.
Me: Not yet
Them: Why not?
Me: I have to keep stopping because the phone continues to ring
Them: That's real helpful (sarcastic tone) :phone slam part two:
I was told that I should try to be more polite.
House Cleaning
First up is the name change.The Dreaming Tree invoked some sort of artistic thing and this has really moved away from that. I tried the poet thing and that didn't work out too well and lately I've just had a whole lot of rants and observations of the world and parenthood. Besides, I think I've found my artistic niche with photography.
Now the meaning of the name. Ramshackle is defined as appearing ready to collapse and carelessly or loosely constructed. My days have all been pretty Ramshackle and the hits just keep on coming, so there is your Parade part. That is about how I feel with my parental responsibilities and the entry to the real world along with trying to figure out what I want to do while I'm a part of it; plus, In It But Not Of It was already taken.
So with that in mind, if you have my site linked from your page would you do me the favor of updating the name? K Thanx!
Now the meaning of the name. Ramshackle is defined as appearing ready to collapse and carelessly or loosely constructed. My days have all been pretty Ramshackle and the hits just keep on coming, so there is your Parade part. That is about how I feel with my parental responsibilities and the entry to the real world along with trying to figure out what I want to do while I'm a part of it; plus, In It But Not Of It was already taken.
So with that in mind, if you have my site linked from your page would you do me the favor of updating the name? K Thanx!
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Hit the Links
Instead of my writings I want to share three sites with you (just click on the word "Number"):
Number 1 is my new photo site. I've put the big boy camera to work and posted the photos for all to see. I've put the link under the "Suggested Viewing" section of this page too. There will probably be more updates to that site than this one, so check often!
Number 2 is an essay from Ben Stein about the elections and change. I've had these same thoughts since the "political circus" started touring last year, but I wasn't too sure how to articulate them so I'll let Ben do it for me.
Number 3 is a tough one. This was written by an Army officer who was also a blogger. He's quite the nerd and quotes Babylon 5 a lot, but it works. There is a little preamble that explains a lot so I won't beat it up here. I'll just say that you should read every word, read it slowly, and reflect on what he wrote. It's powerful stuff. It wouldn't hurt to read it a few times either.
Number 1 is my new photo site. I've put the big boy camera to work and posted the photos for all to see. I've put the link under the "Suggested Viewing" section of this page too. There will probably be more updates to that site than this one, so check often!
Number 2 is an essay from Ben Stein about the elections and change. I've had these same thoughts since the "political circus" started touring last year, but I wasn't too sure how to articulate them so I'll let Ben do it for me.
Number 3 is a tough one. This was written by an Army officer who was also a blogger. He's quite the nerd and quotes Babylon 5 a lot, but it works. There is a little preamble that explains a lot so I won't beat it up here. I'll just say that you should read every word, read it slowly, and reflect on what he wrote. It's powerful stuff. It wouldn't hurt to read it a few times either.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Observations
Today is an extremely slow day and I've decided to list somethings I've noticed today.
- Nothing says, "I don't give a shit about you" as in calling you by the wrong name. Not forgetting someones name; I do that all the time, but to actually make up names. The deputy director of the office just called me Todd. Now he has also in the past called me Allen and Aaron; at least those are close to my real name of Adam. Instead of trying to correct the man, I've decided to see how many names he'll come up with. I've advised my coworkers of this and they agreed to not correct him. The only thing that will top this would be to see the embarrassment on his face when the director, who knows my name, corrects him. Maybe I should see if she'd be willing to get in on the action. I could make a chart of names and have people pick, like the Super Bowl pools that ask you to pick the score.
- Going back and re-reading a lot of this blog (I still hate that word) has made me realize what an accurate portrait of my life this is. It covers whatever emotion I'm feeling. My emotions vary and so do the posts.
- I bought new shoes Saturday and I'm wearing them for the first time today, when I walk around the office I find my self watching my new shoes and looking at myself in the full length mirror in the bathroom. They have more of a square toe and I'm hoping that doesn't make me one of the tools I usually make fun of.
- I'm pretty much alone in the office today and I've discovered how good my computer speakers actually are. I've finally been able to crank up the tunes a little bit. So far I've enjoyed John Mayer's Continuum, The Decemberists' Castaways and Cutouts and The Crane Wife, The Essential Billy Joel (Disc One and Two), and right now Ani DiFranco's Knuckle Down. This has truly been a wonderful day for music. My coworker, who isn't here, is the type that if it isn't early Metallica or Slayer, it sucks. So, to be able to crank a little Ani and not hear groans is a treat!
- I need to buy brown socks. For the first time in my life I own brown shoes and I was made aware of the fashion faux pas of wearing black socks with brown shoes. Of course this was after we had sat down in a restaurant and there was no going home to change shoes. I'm not wearing the brown ones today, I learned my lesson and I'm waiting until brown socks arrive before i try that again!
- Nothing says, "I don't give a shit about you" as in calling you by the wrong name. Not forgetting someones name; I do that all the time, but to actually make up names. The deputy director of the office just called me Todd. Now he has also in the past called me Allen and Aaron; at least those are close to my real name of Adam. Instead of trying to correct the man, I've decided to see how many names he'll come up with. I've advised my coworkers of this and they agreed to not correct him. The only thing that will top this would be to see the embarrassment on his face when the director, who knows my name, corrects him. Maybe I should see if she'd be willing to get in on the action. I could make a chart of names and have people pick, like the Super Bowl pools that ask you to pick the score.
- Going back and re-reading a lot of this blog (I still hate that word) has made me realize what an accurate portrait of my life this is. It covers whatever emotion I'm feeling. My emotions vary and so do the posts.
- I bought new shoes Saturday and I'm wearing them for the first time today, when I walk around the office I find my self watching my new shoes and looking at myself in the full length mirror in the bathroom. They have more of a square toe and I'm hoping that doesn't make me one of the tools I usually make fun of.
- I'm pretty much alone in the office today and I've discovered how good my computer speakers actually are. I've finally been able to crank up the tunes a little bit. So far I've enjoyed John Mayer's Continuum, The Decemberists' Castaways and Cutouts and The Crane Wife, The Essential Billy Joel (Disc One and Two), and right now Ani DiFranco's Knuckle Down. This has truly been a wonderful day for music. My coworker, who isn't here, is the type that if it isn't early Metallica or Slayer, it sucks. So, to be able to crank a little Ani and not hear groans is a treat!
- I need to buy brown socks. For the first time in my life I own brown shoes and I was made aware of the fashion faux pas of wearing black socks with brown shoes. Of course this was after we had sat down in a restaurant and there was no going home to change shoes. I'm not wearing the brown ones today, I learned my lesson and I'm waiting until brown socks arrive before i try that again!
Bundle O' Anger
I found out that my ex wife recently had her baby. I found this out via MySpace and I think I'm beginning to hate that site more and more; first Lady Red's disappointment in aging and now my ex's procreation. There are two things that bother me about this whole situation. One is that I nor Little Man have heard from Ex in about a year. I've gotten random e-mails offering various excuses as to why our phone hasn't rang, but it doesn't make it any better. Now I want to throw this out there for future reference, please don't call me or e-mail me and tell me what a horrible person Ex is. It will not make me feel better and it will not change my parenting situation. It will do no good what so ever, and, to quote Pulp Fiction, "...I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger..." I probably won't bother with the vengeance and anger, but I will be a wee bit upset.
The second thing that bothers me is the overwhelming support offered to Ex by her so called friends. When she posted the message saying the the baby has come into the world there were many messages of congratulations, as is to be expected, but who these messages were from is what has the sand in my panties exceptionally course this time. These are the same people that when Ex left the marriage used to tell me what a horrible person she was and that she should proceed to the nearest bridge and jump. Why were they saying these things to me? Did they want to get me spun up so I would start running my mouth and then they could go back to Ex and tell her what I said? If this is the case they get the biggest Fuck You I have ever issued in my 27 years of existence. That is one of the shadiest things I could ever think of doing to someone. If they wanted to continue to be friends with Ex, that's fine, just don't put us in a room together and don't put one side against the other. They called themselves friends to me and would start bad mouthing her and I usually put a stop to it pretty quickly and moved on with my day, I'm wondering if they were doing the same thing to her.
Being that I have this page linked and some of these so called friends may happen to stop by I'm going to address them for the remainder of this entry. For the rest of you, just sit back and enjoy this like you would an episode of Maury or Jerry.
Dear False Friends,
For the years after my divorce you took me into your homes and I took you into mine. We drank together, laughed together, took trips together, and let our children play together. I went to you in times of need and you came to me in times of need. Why then would you turn on me and stop talking to me? Is it because I didn't give you the reactions that you wanted? Is it because I saw through your bullshit and fake smiles? At first you had me fooled but I caught on and in doing this did I scare you? If so, good. See what you all failed to realize is that Ex and I had a good relationship for a few years and while you were thinking that you where getting over on me, I was in fact, were getting over on you. I have dirt on each and every one of you. Things that you told her because you didn't want to tell me because you thought she was the better friend, she told me.
You all were so quick to criticize my marriage and my ex-wife but before you laugh and snicker at me maybe you should look in your own front door. The man who you cheated on your husband with, yeah the one that your not supposed to talk to anymore but do anyway. Good luck with that. Hope your husband isn't as blind as I was. And you, the one who still sends pictures and messages to that other woman, I know all about those. I also can't forget the one who was bed hopping like she was getting paid, you and your man are not immune either. Also there is the subliminal one. Based on your looks I wish I would have done what I wanted to, but looking at the way you played me and your little family, I'm glad I didn't.
The point here kids, is that you don't want to fuck with me, I don't run to Illinois and hide at my parents house. I play by different rules and I'll hurt your feelings. When I moved here you all said how much you liked having me around and how you hate to see me go. I'll admit that I bought it, but until recently I didn't see what you all were doing.
In light of all of this, there is one thing that I should mention. I am a forgiver and I am not a grudge holder. I can honestly say there is only one person in this world who I will never forgive and you all are not him. So, my number hasn't changed , my e-mail works, and Interstate 95 runs both ways, but I will not make the first move; the rest is up to you. I hope you have a long look at yourselves and realize what you did to me and my son and realize that I will not let it happen twice.
The second thing that bothers me is the overwhelming support offered to Ex by her so called friends. When she posted the message saying the the baby has come into the world there were many messages of congratulations, as is to be expected, but who these messages were from is what has the sand in my panties exceptionally course this time. These are the same people that when Ex left the marriage used to tell me what a horrible person she was and that she should proceed to the nearest bridge and jump. Why were they saying these things to me? Did they want to get me spun up so I would start running my mouth and then they could go back to Ex and tell her what I said? If this is the case they get the biggest Fuck You I have ever issued in my 27 years of existence. That is one of the shadiest things I could ever think of doing to someone. If they wanted to continue to be friends with Ex, that's fine, just don't put us in a room together and don't put one side against the other. They called themselves friends to me and would start bad mouthing her and I usually put a stop to it pretty quickly and moved on with my day, I'm wondering if they were doing the same thing to her.
Being that I have this page linked and some of these so called friends may happen to stop by I'm going to address them for the remainder of this entry. For the rest of you, just sit back and enjoy this like you would an episode of Maury or Jerry.
Dear False Friends,
For the years after my divorce you took me into your homes and I took you into mine. We drank together, laughed together, took trips together, and let our children play together. I went to you in times of need and you came to me in times of need. Why then would you turn on me and stop talking to me? Is it because I didn't give you the reactions that you wanted? Is it because I saw through your bullshit and fake smiles? At first you had me fooled but I caught on and in doing this did I scare you? If so, good. See what you all failed to realize is that Ex and I had a good relationship for a few years and while you were thinking that you where getting over on me, I was in fact, were getting over on you. I have dirt on each and every one of you. Things that you told her because you didn't want to tell me because you thought she was the better friend, she told me.
You all were so quick to criticize my marriage and my ex-wife but before you laugh and snicker at me maybe you should look in your own front door. The man who you cheated on your husband with, yeah the one that your not supposed to talk to anymore but do anyway. Good luck with that. Hope your husband isn't as blind as I was. And you, the one who still sends pictures and messages to that other woman, I know all about those. I also can't forget the one who was bed hopping like she was getting paid, you and your man are not immune either. Also there is the subliminal one. Based on your looks I wish I would have done what I wanted to, but looking at the way you played me and your little family, I'm glad I didn't.
The point here kids, is that you don't want to fuck with me, I don't run to Illinois and hide at my parents house. I play by different rules and I'll hurt your feelings. When I moved here you all said how much you liked having me around and how you hate to see me go. I'll admit that I bought it, but until recently I didn't see what you all were doing.
In light of all of this, there is one thing that I should mention. I am a forgiver and I am not a grudge holder. I can honestly say there is only one person in this world who I will never forgive and you all are not him. So, my number hasn't changed , my e-mail works, and Interstate 95 runs both ways, but I will not make the first move; the rest is up to you. I hope you have a long look at yourselves and realize what you did to me and my son and realize that I will not let it happen twice.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Absolute Liberation
Do you have some stress at the moment? There is relief! All you have to do is play this song and dance freely with arms waving and legs kicking in whatever room you are in. You will feel no stress, sadness, or any of the pressures and pain of the world for three minutes and 43 seconds. How do I know this? Because I just did it. I used the song provided, but please, feel free to use your own. This one always works for me though because it just begs to be danced to. The true trick here is to not think about how funny you may look, because no one is watching. Just feel the music and move how your body wants to. Now you have one of my secrets to keeping a relatively stress free existence.
Friday, December 28, 2007
The Twelfth Month
I realized that it's been a hot minute since I've given you all any useful information regarding my life. I don't really have a good reason for this I'm not so sorry to say, I just didn't feel like writing. It's the month of December, so that means my birthday has come and gone, Christmas has just passed, and New Years Eve is next week. I suppose I can take each of those days and give you the scoop and maybe something interesting would have come out of that.
My birthday was a pretty low key event. A group met at an Irish bar in Fells Point for dinner. It was very tasty and a pleasant atmosphere to be in. We left there and headed to another bar in the area that had every sort of beer imaginable. I didn't know what to get so I looked at the bartender and said, "Give me something Canadian." This was met with a very disgusted huff and a face that said, "Please step out of the bar and let a truck run over your ass." Now I figured that I left this pretty wide open, something Canadian, it could be a Molson, Labatt's, or even a Moosehead Lager. Either way, I got my over priced Labatt and headed back to the group. We started playing pool and that brought out all of the Paul Newman wannabes in the bar so that didn't last long. When I went back to the bar I flirted with a little blond girl just to make sure that I still have some game, she seemed to soak it up but her boyfriend/husband didn't seem to find it nearly as amusing; fuck him! I made it to bed around 5:00 AM and woke up around 10:00 AM I think, whatever it was it was too early.
Christmas was uneventful. I spent it at Dad's like usual. I got a digital SLR so as soon as I learn how to use it maybe I'll start a photo blog. I left Quentin with the parents so I can go out and enjoy myself a little bit. When I used to be childless I would basically go on a bender, but now all I want to do is sleep. It sure does suck feeling like I'm older than I actually am.
No one can make up their mind on what we're doing for New Years Eve. Last couple have been spent on my couch so I'm ready to go out. There are those $100 open bar things, but the real question is, would I drink a $100 bar tab? Absolutely not! If I end up at a local corner bar, that's fine with me. I just want to be around people; I'm a social person and I want to be social, damn it! Maybe I'll see Blondie and I can piss off her boyfriend again.
My birthday was a pretty low key event. A group met at an Irish bar in Fells Point for dinner. It was very tasty and a pleasant atmosphere to be in. We left there and headed to another bar in the area that had every sort of beer imaginable. I didn't know what to get so I looked at the bartender and said, "Give me something Canadian." This was met with a very disgusted huff and a face that said, "Please step out of the bar and let a truck run over your ass." Now I figured that I left this pretty wide open, something Canadian, it could be a Molson, Labatt's, or even a Moosehead Lager. Either way, I got my over priced Labatt and headed back to the group. We started playing pool and that brought out all of the Paul Newman wannabes in the bar so that didn't last long. When I went back to the bar I flirted with a little blond girl just to make sure that I still have some game, she seemed to soak it up but her boyfriend/husband didn't seem to find it nearly as amusing; fuck him! I made it to bed around 5:00 AM and woke up around 10:00 AM I think, whatever it was it was too early.
Christmas was uneventful. I spent it at Dad's like usual. I got a digital SLR so as soon as I learn how to use it maybe I'll start a photo blog. I left Quentin with the parents so I can go out and enjoy myself a little bit. When I used to be childless I would basically go on a bender, but now all I want to do is sleep. It sure does suck feeling like I'm older than I actually am.
No one can make up their mind on what we're doing for New Years Eve. Last couple have been spent on my couch so I'm ready to go out. There are those $100 open bar things, but the real question is, would I drink a $100 bar tab? Absolutely not! If I end up at a local corner bar, that's fine with me. I just want to be around people; I'm a social person and I want to be social, damn it! Maybe I'll see Blondie and I can piss off her boyfriend again.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Don't Call Me Ishmael
Let me preface this by apologizing to the ex-girls who read this. This is no way a shot at you, just the opinion of yours truly. You are all beautiful women, and I can say this with confidence because, I like to think that other than a few "low" points, I have above average standards on those I consider to be "easy on the eyes".
In this world of MySpace and Facebook and a bunch of other social sites we are able to find some old friends and maybe form some new connections with friends of friends and so on. It can be great but there is a darker side to all this reconnecting. Allow me to give you, Gentle Reader, an example of this dark side.
A few nights ago I was killing some time cruising the Space and I came across the profile of a certain girl that I was involved with in my high school years who, in my somewhat humble opinion, was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Even though the face had aged I knew it was her right off the bat, but something was amiss! This was not the girl that used to make all my high school friends envious, she had changed, a lot and, I dare say, it was for the worse.
Is this superficial of me? You bet! Am I somewhat wrong for thinking like this? Absolutely! But I think we all need a White Whale. I've never compared a woman to a whale and meant it to be a good thing, but I digress. What I mean by White Whale is I looked at this girl as perfect and I imagined that she continued to be the perfect woman 10 years later. I come to find out that she wasn't and for some reason I can't stop thinking about it.
Is it because somethings are better left to mystery? Is it because we remember things to be better than they actually where? When I was living in Norfolk, I enjoyed it, but I also thought about leaving and not looking back. When I didn't get to leave on my own terms and was forced to Baltimore I decided that the streets of Norfolk were paved in gold. The streets of Baltimore, the same city that at one point in my life I said that I wouldn't mind living in, were paved in mercury and you would be poisoned as soon as you touched them.
When the Girl and I split it was the days before every house and desk had a computer with internet access, including my own. It was also before everyone had a cell phone attached to their pocket. I was carrying around a pager in those days and I thought I was on the cutting edge of telecommunications technology. Anyway, her parents decided to move somewhere and because of the aforementioned reasons we just lost contact, that's what you did then. You didn't call long distance on your parents dime so there was no phone calls. We were learning how to use AOL and honestly, what teenager takes time to write a letter. Sure we kept it up for a little bit, but that faded fast. So ever since, in the back of my mind I had an image of this girl who grew into this beautiful woman and just knowing that she was out there kept some sort of mysterious aura about her. I then come across a picture of a girl that I may say hello to in a bar, but I wouldn't necessarily try to pick up. I used the phrase White Whale, and to amplify that point this is like Captain Ahab finding out that Moby Dick washed up on Myrtle Beach last Wednesday. There is nothing in the sea that fascinates him anymore. The positive side to all this: at least this whale didn't kill me like Ahab's did.
In this world of MySpace and Facebook and a bunch of other social sites we are able to find some old friends and maybe form some new connections with friends of friends and so on. It can be great but there is a darker side to all this reconnecting. Allow me to give you, Gentle Reader, an example of this dark side.
A few nights ago I was killing some time cruising the Space and I came across the profile of a certain girl that I was involved with in my high school years who, in my somewhat humble opinion, was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Even though the face had aged I knew it was her right off the bat, but something was amiss! This was not the girl that used to make all my high school friends envious, she had changed, a lot and, I dare say, it was for the worse.
Is this superficial of me? You bet! Am I somewhat wrong for thinking like this? Absolutely! But I think we all need a White Whale. I've never compared a woman to a whale and meant it to be a good thing, but I digress. What I mean by White Whale is I looked at this girl as perfect and I imagined that she continued to be the perfect woman 10 years later. I come to find out that she wasn't and for some reason I can't stop thinking about it.
Is it because somethings are better left to mystery? Is it because we remember things to be better than they actually where? When I was living in Norfolk, I enjoyed it, but I also thought about leaving and not looking back. When I didn't get to leave on my own terms and was forced to Baltimore I decided that the streets of Norfolk were paved in gold. The streets of Baltimore, the same city that at one point in my life I said that I wouldn't mind living in, were paved in mercury and you would be poisoned as soon as you touched them.
When the Girl and I split it was the days before every house and desk had a computer with internet access, including my own. It was also before everyone had a cell phone attached to their pocket. I was carrying around a pager in those days and I thought I was on the cutting edge of telecommunications technology. Anyway, her parents decided to move somewhere and because of the aforementioned reasons we just lost contact, that's what you did then. You didn't call long distance on your parents dime so there was no phone calls. We were learning how to use AOL and honestly, what teenager takes time to write a letter. Sure we kept it up for a little bit, but that faded fast. So ever since, in the back of my mind I had an image of this girl who grew into this beautiful woman and just knowing that she was out there kept some sort of mysterious aura about her. I then come across a picture of a girl that I may say hello to in a bar, but I wouldn't necessarily try to pick up. I used the phrase White Whale, and to amplify that point this is like Captain Ahab finding out that Moby Dick washed up on Myrtle Beach last Wednesday. There is nothing in the sea that fascinates him anymore. The positive side to all this: at least this whale didn't kill me like Ahab's did.
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