Monday, December 31, 2007


Today is an extremely slow day and I've decided to list somethings I've noticed today.

- Nothing says, "I don't give a shit about you" as in calling you by the wrong name. Not forgetting someones name; I do that all the time, but to actually make up names. The deputy director of the office just called me Todd. Now he has also in the past called me Allen and Aaron; at least those are close to my real name of Adam. Instead of trying to correct the man, I've decided to see how many names he'll come up with. I've advised my coworkers of this and they agreed to not correct him. The only thing that will top this would be to see the embarrassment on his face when the director, who knows my name, corrects him. Maybe I should see if she'd be willing to get in on the action. I could make a chart of names and have people pick, like the Super Bowl pools that ask you to pick the score.

- Going back and re-reading a lot of this blog (I still hate that word) has made me realize what an accurate portrait of my life this is. It covers whatever emotion I'm feeling. My emotions vary and so do the posts.

- I bought new shoes Saturday and I'm wearing them for the first time today, when I walk around the office I find my self watching my new shoes and looking at myself in the full length mirror in the bathroom. They have more of a square toe and I'm hoping that doesn't make me one of the tools I usually make fun of.

- I'm pretty much alone in the office today and I've discovered how good my computer speakers actually are. I've finally been able to crank up the tunes a little bit. So far I've enjoyed John Mayer's Continuum, The Decemberists' Castaways and Cutouts and The Crane Wife, The Essential Billy Joel (Disc One and Two), and right now Ani DiFranco's Knuckle Down. This has truly been a wonderful day for music. My coworker, who isn't here, is the type that if it isn't early Metallica or Slayer, it sucks. So, to be able to crank a little Ani and not hear groans is a treat!

- I need to buy brown socks. For the first time in my life I own brown shoes and I was made aware of the fashion faux pas of wearing black socks with brown shoes. Of course this was after we had sat down in a restaurant and there was no going home to change shoes. I'm not wearing the brown ones today, I learned my lesson and I'm waiting until brown socks arrive before i try that again!

Bundle O' Anger

I found out that my ex wife recently had her baby. I found this out via MySpace and I think I'm beginning to hate that site more and more; first Lady Red's disappointment in aging and now my ex's procreation. There are two things that bother me about this whole situation. One is that I nor Little Man have heard from Ex in about a year. I've gotten random e-mails offering various excuses as to why our phone hasn't rang, but it doesn't make it any better. Now I want to throw this out there for future reference, please don't call me or e-mail me and tell me what a horrible person Ex is. It will not make me feel better and it will not change my parenting situation. It will do no good what so ever, and, to quote Pulp Fiction, "...I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger..." I probably won't bother with the vengeance and anger, but I will be a wee bit upset.

The second thing that bothers me is the overwhelming support offered to Ex by her so called friends. When she posted the message saying the the baby has come into the world there were many messages of congratulations, as is to be expected, but who these messages were from is what has the sand in my panties exceptionally course this time. These are the same people that when Ex left the marriage used to tell me what a horrible person she was and that she should proceed to the nearest bridge and jump. Why were they saying these things to me? Did they want to get me spun up so I would start running my mouth and then they could go back to Ex and tell her what I said? If this is the case they get the biggest Fuck You I have ever issued in my 27 years of existence. That is one of the shadiest things I could ever think of doing to someone. If they wanted to continue to be friends with Ex, that's fine, just don't put us in a room together and don't put one side against the other. They called themselves friends to me and would start bad mouthing her and I usually put a stop to it pretty quickly and moved on with my day, I'm wondering if they were doing the same thing to her.

Being that I have this page linked and some of these so called friends may happen to stop by I'm going to address them for the remainder of this entry. For the rest of you, just sit back and enjoy this like you would an episode of Maury or Jerry.

Dear False Friends,

For the years after my divorce you took me into your homes and I took you into mine. We drank together, laughed together, took trips together, and let our children play together. I went to you in times of need and you came to me in times of need. Why then would you turn on me and stop talking to me? Is it because I didn't give you the reactions that you wanted? Is it because I saw through your bullshit and fake smiles? At first you had me fooled but I caught on and in doing this did I scare you? If so, good. See what you all failed to realize is that Ex and I had a good relationship for a few years and while you were thinking that you where getting over on me, I was in fact, were getting over on you. I have dirt on each and every one of you. Things that you told her because you didn't want to tell me because you thought she was the better friend, she told me.

You all were so quick to criticize my marriage and my ex-wife but before you laugh and snicker at me maybe you should look in your own front door. The man who you cheated on your husband with, yeah the one that your not supposed to talk to anymore but do anyway. Good luck with that. Hope your husband isn't as blind as I was. And you, the one who still sends pictures and messages to that other woman, I know all about those. I also can't forget the one who was bed hopping like she was getting paid, you and your man are not immune either. Also there is the subliminal one. Based on your looks I wish I would have done what I wanted to, but looking at the way you played me and your little family, I'm glad I didn't.

The point here kids, is that you don't want to fuck with me, I don't run to Illinois and hide at my parents house. I play by different rules and I'll hurt your feelings. When I moved here you all said how much you liked having me around and how you hate to see me go. I'll admit that I bought it, but until recently I didn't see what you all were doing.

In light of all of this, there is one thing that I should mention. I am a forgiver and I am not a grudge holder. I can honestly say there is only one person in this world who I will never forgive and you all are not him. So, my number hasn't changed , my e-mail works, and Interstate 95 runs both ways, but I will not make the first move; the rest is up to you. I hope you have a long look at yourselves and realize what you did to me and my son and realize that I will not let it happen twice.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Absolute Liberation

Do you have some stress at the moment? There is relief! All you have to do is play this song and dance freely with arms waving and legs kicking in whatever room you are in. You will feel no stress, sadness, or any of the pressures and pain of the world for three minutes and 43 seconds. How do I know this? Because I just did it. I used the song provided, but please, feel free to use your own. This one always works for me though because it just begs to be danced to. The true trick here is to not think about how funny you may look, because no one is watching. Just feel the music and move how your body wants to. Now you have one of my secrets to keeping a relatively stress free existence.

Friday, December 28, 2007

The Twelfth Month

I realized that it's been a hot minute since I've given you all any useful information regarding my life. I don't really have a good reason for this I'm not so sorry to say, I just didn't feel like writing. It's the month of December, so that means my birthday has come and gone, Christmas has just passed, and New Years Eve is next week. I suppose I can take each of those days and give you the scoop and maybe something interesting would have come out of that.

My birthday was a pretty low key event. A group met at an Irish bar in Fells Point for dinner. It was very tasty and a pleasant atmosphere to be in. We left there and headed to another bar in the area that had every sort of beer imaginable. I didn't know what to get so I looked at the bartender and said, "Give me something Canadian." This was met with a very disgusted huff and a face that said, "Please step out of the bar and let a truck run over your ass." Now I figured that I left this pretty wide open, something Canadian, it could be a Molson, Labatt's, or even a Moosehead Lager. Either way, I got my over priced Labatt and headed back to the group. We started playing pool and that brought out all of the Paul Newman wannabes in the bar so that didn't last long. When I went back to the bar I flirted with a little blond girl just to make sure that I still have some game, she seemed to soak it up but her boyfriend/husband didn't seem to find it nearly as amusing; fuck him! I made it to bed around 5:00 AM and woke up around 10:00 AM I think, whatever it was it was too early.

Christmas was uneventful. I spent it at Dad's like usual. I got a digital SLR so as soon as I learn how to use it maybe I'll start a photo blog. I left Quentin with the parents so I can go out and enjoy myself a little bit. When I used to be childless I would basically go on a bender, but now all I want to do is sleep. It sure does suck feeling like I'm older than I actually am.

No one can make up their mind on what we're doing for New Years Eve. Last couple have been spent on my couch so I'm ready to go out. There are those $100 open bar things, but the real question is, would I drink a $100 bar tab? Absolutely not! If I end up at a local corner bar, that's fine with me. I just want to be around people; I'm a social person and I want to be social, damn it! Maybe I'll see Blondie and I can piss off her boyfriend again.