Tuesday, March 18, 2008

United States of Hypocrisy

Let me start by saying I don't really care about Elliot Spitzer, he was New York's Governor, not Maryland and he wasn't responsible for paying bills in the House of Adam.

What irritates me about this whole situation is the contradictory fashion in which the elected officials operate. There are an abundance of anti-gay Congressional members who are caught up in homosexual scandals. Now we have a guy who campaigned to bust up prostitution who sure enough got brought down for buying a hooker.

There is another thing that really irks me about this. Why isn't prostitution legal? Just think of how many more tax payers we'll get to help pay for Iraq! If people want to buy them selves some sex, they're going to do it anyway so why not reap the rewards? Just think about it like this: You go to your nearest downtown corner, spot the hooker you want, ask her to lift her skirt, and if she has the U.S. Seal of Approval across her girl parts (think: tops of booze bottles) then you're all set to have some good, clean, legal sex! After you take her back to the corner she heads off to the physician to get checked out and have her seal replaced for the next "John". Disease free romps and a new group of tax payers; everyone wins.
We could tell the troops that many women in America are down on they're knees for you tonight, and some of them are in prayer.

Of course, I'm willing to bet that the senators and representatives from Nevada would throw a fit because no one would have to go to Reno anymore.

Speaking of which, if I ever go to congress, my argument for the legalization would be both the tax base and the fact that over half the room uses them anyway; the rest are thinking about it.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Hightlight Reel

I don't really have anything good to write about. Not too much has been going on. So, let's go to the film!

- I joined a bowling league. This sounds rather strange, but I've bowled since I was a little kid and I rather enjoy doing it. Once a week, on Wednesday to be precise, I am forced to get out of my house and I also get a few hours off from parenting. I'm not great, but I'm not bad so it's a good time overall. The biggest problem is that people like to try and give you advice on your game. They mean no harm and they do it out of their love for the game, but it tends to just simply confuse you and you end up looking goofy.

- Most of you know that I have heavily contemplated walking away from the IT field and going back to school for something else. I really see this happening sometime in the near future. This is another area where people may mean well, but really they just rain on your parade. I have in my head a few career options and a lot of people feel the need to tell me how horrible my choices are. To that I say, "Thanks, but are you me?" I know what I'm doing and if it doesn't work out then I will move on and try again. There is no law that says we have to do one thing and do it for the rest of our lives. If my career choice is so bad, I'll find out. I know there's money in the IT field and I love having money, but the bottom line is that I hate it and I don't want to do it. Go read In It But Not Of It this guy went o law school and didn't become a lawyer. The best part is all the lawyers I know like there careers, but agree with what he did.

- I am convinced that Quentin is deaf. That boy doesn't listen! Oh he's hearing me, but he ain't listening to me. "Did you pick up your room?" "Oh, no Dad. I forgot." I told him 30 times to pick up his room one night. I think Bill Cosby was right when he said, "Children have brain damage."

- We have some soft people in my office. They are the epitome of what I like to call Telephone Tough Guys. They will talk a good game when no one is looking, but when one of the bosses are around, they fold like a lawn chair. Now I don't pick fights, but I stand up for my self and I don't accept people talking down to me. I tell people what I think but I do it in a way that is not disrespectful. That is the one thing that I learned from my time as a Military Police Officer, all the people I issued tickets to outranked me by a lot and it was my job to tell them they were wrong but I had to do it in a way that they could not honestly tell someone that I disrespected them. It's a fine line to walk but when you walk it people tend to respect you more.

- I've become pretty valued and respected here in the office and I've done it all only working the required eight hours a day. I actually don't understand how people don't get work done in this amount of time. I get it done, done right, and have time to chill on GMail. My child may be brain damaged, but he gets as much of my time as I can give him.

Perhaps the strangest thing to happen:
- I got a phone call from a lady identifying herself as Mrs. Coworker. I have met her once, but, OK, I'll play along. She starts asking me about e-mails that I supposedly sent Mr Coworker that were, "sexually suggestive". Now before you go questioning my manhood, they came from Ms Coworker's account. (So you have this straight: single female coworker, married male coworker, and married male coworker's wife.) The gerbil in my head jumped on his wheel, the lights started to get brighter, and I was able to piece together her hysterics. This guy and the single coworker were talking dirty via e-mail. The wife found out and confronted him, he then said it was me who got into the single lady's e-mail account and was playing a practical joke on him. (Error 404: Humor Not Found. If I'm going to play a practical joke, I'm going to put glue on your keyboard, not waste my time of hacking someones e-mail account to send you naughty messages. That's lame!) He picked the wrong dude for his cover, I don't support that crap. So I told the wife that I wasn't involved and she should talk to her husband again. I expected some sort of confrontation on Monday morning only to be greeted by the sound of silence. He never mentioned it and I never did either. Maybe he realized that he picked a bad cover and that'll be it.