Monday, October 15, 2007


I started the new job and it's a lot slower than what I was used to for the past eight years. It's hard because not only am I adapting to a new job, I'm adapting to a new way of life. I keep having to remind myself I'm not active duty anymore and there are different rules now. I was talking to a friend who got out a few years ago and found out it took almost a year before she was completely adjusted to the outside world. I know it sounds like I just got out of prison, but if you think about it you can become institutionalized just the same. You live this very structured life and you think that you're not really structured, but the second you step out of that world you realize how much you were. You then move on to a job where you have more room to breath. I understand the structure is there for a reason and that it is needed in that environment, but it is a strange thing to shed. The best advice I was given was don't shed it completely, but rather know when you use it to your advantage. The other day, for example, the project manager tasked one of my co-workers to do something and he blew it off. Now the marine in me was saying "How could you blow off a simple task like that, you're such a turd." The co-worker was very unapologetic and the boss noticed that. My discipline would have handled that task with no problem and all would have been right with the world and I would look good in the eyes of those who evaluate me.

In retrospect I know it was a good thing for me to get out. I have a child that needs at least one parent in it's life since it's not going to have the other any time soon and the best way that I can provide that for him is being in a steady place and being able to be there for him when I need to be. The worst thing I can do at this point is to ever question that decision that I made more than two years ago. I did my time to the country and I did it honorably. I finished what I started and I am proud of that fact and no one can take that away from me.

EDIT: I called my child "it" and there is no good reason for this. I have no idea how that happened, but it won't happen again!