Thursday, January 31, 2008

Moody Blues

I'm in a bit of a mood today and I don't know why. It's a weird mood, I'm angry with out being mad; I'm tired, but don't want to sleep, I hate people, but I want to be social. I have been in a rut lately though. I'm just so stressed about being grown up and a single parent that I just want to run and hide.

A big problem is that I am used to be being a single parent but, more challenges have presented themselves since Quentin started school. He now has a lot more to do when he gets home, we have homework, projects, reading, and other school stuff. (It really is amazing what these kids are doing at such a young age. I remember kindergarten as another play land with occasional writing.) We also have to somehow get dinner and shower time in there too. Lately I find myself wanting to just want to plop my ass down on the couch and watch television or read my Rolling Stone.

Before he started school, he came home and played while I cooked. We would eat and then play followed by shower and a reading a little bit of some book before bed. I had an easier time balancing time and effort. I also wasn't constantly worn out and that is something is really bothering me. I don't know if my work inactivity or what, but I'm so fatigued when I get home. I had a job a few years ago that was very stationary and I remember the same problems. I had a job after that one and before this one that kept me moving all day and that carried over to the home front. I'm going to go out on a scientific limb here and guess that my desk job and my active job caused these two attitudes at home.

So, fair readers, I'm going to guess it's time for me to start figuring out a new career path. I hate being lazy and that is all that is going to come out of this.