Happy Christmas, Merry New Year

What a year 2005 was both personally and for the rest of the world, I'm not going to sit here and rattle off a bunch of "highlights" from the year past, because this is the week every year that we get bashed in the face with the "best of/worst of" shows on every media outlet. Even the news networks jump on the band wagon with the year in headlines shows. You all know what happened this year and you all should definitely know what happened in your own lives. No reason to add another twenty "O" five review.

I went home for Christmas this year and I am very happy I did. I got to see joy on my children's faces when they saw what Daddy Claus had left them under the tree. I got to see four generations of family interacting and enjoying each others company. I re-connected with members of said family that I haven't talked to in over five years. That, to me, is what Christmas is all about.

As many of you know I have my issues with religion lately and so therefore I didn't go to church on Christmas day, I mean if I'm not going to show up the rest of the year, why show up on one day to make myself feel better. I instead look at Christmas as a time that starts around Thanksgiving and goes through New Years Day that I spend time with family that I don't get to see much and remind my self just how lucky I am that I have the ability to do that. That there are people out there who don't have a family like I do. I don't look at it as something to be politicized like it has been lately. I don't look at it as something that should be commercialized like it has been for so long. I just spend time with those I love and leave it at that.

New Years always brings resolutions and we usually do well for about a week and then throw them by the wayside so I decided to make mine something achievable. I'm going to finish my degree and I'm going to read more books. I'm going to have a new appreciation for mankind's creative side. I'm going to have more confidence in my self. I'm going to take better care of my self. These things are all pretty easy to accomplish and if I don't stick to it I think it's because I didn't really want to in the first place.

Happy Holidays, what ever it is you celebrate, and try to make this year better than the last.

I Read The News Today, Oh Boy

December 8, 1980 one man was born as another died. John Lennon was shot outside his apartment in New York City while on the other side of the state in a small hospital in Jamestown I was born. In no way are these two events linked, other than the day, but I've always shared some sort of attachment to John Lennon, I can't explain it very well but I know it's there, maybe our souls passed on the great escalator in the sky or something. Maybe my soul said good morning to his soul as we passed the "gates of heaven" like two people crisscrossing in an elevator door. It's something I've always felt, even in the earliest stages of my life. I've always been drawn to his writing, songs, and various statements made through out his life. Now I don't live my life according to Lennon, but I try to pass along the same statements, because I share his believes and a good many views on the world that he had as many others did, and still do. His songs have always been part of my life and intertwined with it. When we started seeing flag covered caskets coming back from Iraq, some of them my friends, I played Imagine. Many nights before I put my son to bed I sing Beautiful Boy to him, while he giggles at his goofy Daddy. When my marriage failed I sang Jealous Guy. When I met another I sang (Just Like) Starting Over. My son begs me to play Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds when we're driving so we can sing along, he only knows the chorus, but he's getting there. There are many other examples I could give, but the point is made and I'd go on all night and it is after all, my birthday. Now that I'm trying to take up my own musical adventure I take a lot of influence from John. I don't try to duplicate, because there will never be another John Lennon, just like there will never be another me. We are all our own person and we should all strive to be our own person, but there is nothing wrong with looking to others for guidance and inspiration. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

Was he perfect? No, he was just simply a man. He simply did what he felt was right and stood by what he thought was right. That, my friends is something that I admire greatly. That is something that I've tried to do for a good portion of my life. I admire John Lennon for what he said during his life even though it was often looked upon in a negative light. All he tried to do was pass along his views on the world and hopefully a few others would come along and join in. Those views where simply love and peace. How could someone shoot a man who sang about love and peace? Here we are 25 years later and his messages are just as relevant today as they where when they where new. All you need is love. You could have many unhappy things in your life, but if your loved it doesn't seem so bad for some reason. All we are saying is give peace a chance. Everyone on this planet could benefit from that statement. We've become so numb to violence because it's been around since we where made, but what if there where Nothing to kill or die for?

Happy Birthday.

"we all shine on, like the moon and the stars and the sun"
-John Lennon

Lethal Beauty

The San Francisco Chronicle did a seven part series about the high number of suicides of people jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge and the debate to put a barrier up to try to prevent this. This is a follow up from a piece the New Yorker did on the same subject. I've never been to that point in my life where I just wanted to end it all, but I know people who have, some have gotten all the way and ended it, some have just tried. We had a student who suffocated himself here a few years ago and I've had a reversal of my view on suicide because it really brought it home for some reason. Maybe because he was like me in personality, career choice, etc. but, I used to say "Let 'em do it! Who cares?" but then I thought about someone saying that about my child and I couldn't imagine letting that happen. So take time to read this and think about it. It can happen to any age, gender, race, or income level, in short it can be anyone.

http://www.sfgate.com/lethalbeauty/

Tell Me What You Don't Like About Yourself

This is the recurring phrase from, in my opinion, the best show on television right now, "Nip/Tuck". Lately I have been wondering about T.V., why it has gone down the entertainment crapper and then I discovered FX's shows. There big ones are "Nip/Tuck", "Rescue Me", and "The Shield". I'm not big on "The Shield", but "Rescue Me" and "Nip/Tuck" are creating a little revival of T.V. for me. With all the fake "reality" that's dominating the coaxial lines lately I found myself watching less of the box in the past couple years; I can't stand to watch people stoop to new lows for a price tag, but that's another rant.
This past summer I stumbled upon "Rescue Me" and was hooked immediately. The writing was brilliant and the acting was fantastic. The show centers around Dennis Leary's character of Tommy who is a New York City fireman. Tommy battles with personal demons of a failed marriage, alcoholism, friend betrayal, and, like any good sibling, a relationship with his dead brother's wife. On the surface it my not seem like a good show, but until you watch a few episodes, don't be to quick to judge.
When the season of "Rescue Me" ended "Nip/Tuck took it's time slot (Tuesday's 10:00 PM EST). Mom has watched this show for a few years now and I decided it was worth a peep. Now, I cannot wait for Tuesday nights. I thought that "Rescue Me" was brilliant, well this one is on another level completely. The basis for this show is two plastic surgeons in Miami who are surrounded by a world that wants to be beautiful and with our human obsession with putting on beautiful faces to hide our ugly souls it fits right in with modern society. The writers on this show piece together a story line that even a jigsaw puzzle couldn't top. Almost every line has a meaning. Every patient's issue ties into the bigger issue in each episode that Sean and Christian, the surgeons, are dealing with.
I don't know who is writing for these shows, but maybe they can moonlight with NBC to get the "West Wing" back on track. That show has gone over the top with stupidity. That has always been NBC's problem. I used to love "ER", but it went from being a mild drama to being way past the realm of belief. NBC feels it has to go bigger with more effects and "twists" that it almost seems like they are taking ideas from the mailman at Rockefeller Plaza. I know that TV and movies are going to be a stretch of reality by nature. That's what keeps us attached, living out a fantasy that we know would never happen, but we wish it would and the characters can do it for us, but, sometimes I get to the point where I just don't buy it any more. So now the "West Wing" has gone the way of George Clooney and Anthony Edwards "ER" reruns that I watch with fond memories. Hopefully FX doesn't follow NBC's example of trying to keep people watching.
So, "tell me what you don't like about your self" and let Sean and Christian and the writers of "Nip/Tuck" make you say; "Holy shit!" every Tuesday at 10:59 PM. Then your hooked.

Urban Cowboy

I haven't written anything in a long time, and I have the feeling people don't even stop by anymore. I guess it's because nothing has really peaked my interest lately. I don't have any emotional filled rants to give. So...
Last week I went to Havelock, NC, home of Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point. That was so desolate and sad looking. I've gotten so used to the "big city" that small towns make me laugh. I don't know if I could take living in small town U.S.A. anymore. Although part of me wants to live in a place where my biggest problem or fear is the politics at the Mason Lodge, but part of me loves the feel of the urban. The traffic, the noise, the glass and concrete, sometimes even the anonymity of the city. I love the diverse cultures of the shops and restaurants. The choices of entertainment, the fact that there is entertainment. I'm sure as I move along in life I'll want the quiet life, but right now I'm drawn to places like Atlanta, Charlotte, Miami, Tampa, and even New Orleans, when it dries out and is rebuilt, better than before I'm sure. I had thought of moving to New Orleans earlier this year, I guess I'll have to wait, but I still just might make it happen. I fell in love with the Crescent City when I was there and I can't wait to go back again, even if it's only for a visit, because then the novelty doesn't wear off.

Amarillo, Iraq

In contrast to the last entry, I found a very funny video that British soldiers made right before they came home from Iraq. Make sure you got speakers and three minutes to spend and hopefully you'll find it as funny as I did.

http://www.thehumorzone.co.uk/amarillo_downloads.htm

Here's the BBC story of the video:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4554083.stm

Mi Amour

"Life knocked me of my platforms
So I pulled out my first pair of boots...
And I suited up for the long walk
Back to my myself..."

Today I don't think I could feel more lonely. I had my heart and soul pulled out and thrown on the road of life long ago and another came along and ran it over with a Mac Truck. The Two managed to come back and do some more trampling of me recently. Remember the video of Rodney King? Well, go to the editing room and cut out Rodney and the LAPD and insert the Two with the sticks and my heart and soul on the ground. What a heart and soul looks like, I don't know, but you all can figure it out.

I heard the First One was getting married and said I wasn't much of anything. I treated her badly and was the worst person ever. The truth is that another came into her life and delighted her with visions of bliss and life long pleasures. He didn't give her the truth and reality and certainly did not bring the visions to life. For what ever the reason the wedding got called off, I don't know the reason and so I can not accurately report those reasons, but, they are, however, still together.

I once heard the Second One say she was "playing with fire" and I didn't know what that really meant until today when I got the gut wrenching mass e-mail today from her, amazing how we find out all sorts of things we'd rather not know because we are still in someone's address book and they don't think about who they are sending their world to. It was filled with words of happiness about their big move to Chicago. I got to read about what a wonderful boyfriend she has and how he is so good to her and other sorts of titles that used to be mine. Which is funny because for the longest time she would say and write how terrible he was and how he dragged her down while they where together. She went on to say that if "your ever in the Windy City, stop by and we'll show you the sights." I just may take them up on that offer. That would a strange situation.

Twice I have been left behind for others by women I've truly loved. With all this trauma that Love has sent me, you would think I would have nothing to do with her. You would think I'd shoot Love in the head and I would ritualistically dance around her remains while the fire would rise high into the desert sky. Not me. I am Love's battered spouse. Love beats me down and I say; "She is a little stressed from work." Love pushes me into the wall and I say; "She's going to get counseling." Love leaves with with a black eye and I say; "She didn't mean to hit me that hard." Love verbally assaults me and I say; "She really is sorry this time." I keep coming back to Love, I keep seeking Love out. I wander the streets like a lost pet hoping my master is around the next corner, but she never is.

People tell me "Don't worry she's out there somewhere." That's polite of them to say but I think, after today, I'm going to kick Love out for a while. I'm going to pour all my efforts into my self, my son, my mind, and my music. I'm putting a restraining order on Love. When the right Police Officer comes around maybe I'll let that sweet bitch named Love back in the house. In the mean time I've got my closed circuit television monitoring the doors and bars on the window and I'm checking my address book.

"Maybe there is a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at somebody who outdrew ya
And it's not a cry that you can hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah"

My So Called Life.

I haven't done this in a long time so I guess if anyone is still reading then you'll be happy for the update. I thought this was going to be easy, but as we get wrapped up in our daily life it's easy to forget about something like this or be like me and have nothing worth writing about. Since there are no issues really touching my soul, other than the ones I already had addressed anyway, I'll just put some stuff in here that I've been thinking about lately and we'll discuss via phone or comment section. Seems as though I write more in CJ's comments than I do my own page.
Music:
I've bought a few good ones lately. Shakira's "Fijacion Oral" which is all in Spanish, but it's still enjoyable to me. I like music from all over and I hate classifying it, it's music. This girl has got a voice on her I don't know everything she's saying, but I don't care either, well I care, but in my humble opinion just listening is enough and I'm impressed. I also bought The Killers' "Hot Fuss" this band is a flash back to the 80's sound, which is good being that I'm a child of the 80's and I love 80's "pop" music. I encourage all to check these out and who knows maybe you too will have "expanded your musical horizons!"
I was watching TV the other night and there was a documentary on Sun Records, for those that don't know what that is; it was an independent label who recorded Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, and many others very early in their careers. Many of these musicians probably wouldn't have gotten the breaks they did if not for Sun. Well, while watching this I really started thinking about what true revolutionaries these guys where. No one had a sound like that before and it has endured and influenced for the past 50 years. To me that is so amazing that a truck driver wanted to hear him self on tape and ignited a whole new style of music. I started downloading (legally) some of these songs and I've heard most of them before, but never realized how good they still are. I also encourage all to take another listen to some of the late 50's and early 60's Rock&Roll.
Movies:
Is it just me or do movies really suck lately. Is Hollywood out of ideas? They either feed us remakes or complete crap. Don't get me wrong there are good ones out there that are enjoyable to watch, but there's no Godfather, Pulp Fiction, Gone With The Wind type movies out there and it's really sad. There hasn't been one in a long time, for me anyway, that when it was done, I just sat there and just let it all soak in because it was that good.
I watched a movie called "Suicide Kings" and that was entertaining, but one that I can never see again and I won't mind really. I've got "Ladder 49" staring at me so I'm going to watch that and I'll give a report later.
Tony Stewart is on a rampage and Adam and Q are happy as can be! I'm going to Atlanta this October and I hope I finally get to be at a race that he wins and not just leads the most laps.

Hi-Q 2

OK, I started posting on a forum website. Remember that. Remember, as well, the thing stating that I am of "below average" intelligence. Now when the two are put together I am starting to feel that way. This site has a lot of younger people on it and some of them are not even out of high-school yet, and the things that they say are amazing and I have never felt so stupid in my life. I also never realized how far detached from the youth of the nation I am until recently, but that's another issue. I try to keep up with them on some debates and I'm just amazed at the things they know. When I was in high school I knew Bill Clinton was president and that was about it. I really didn't know much about his administration and the things that where going on, nor did I much care. These kids, however, are telling me things that I should already know. Here I thought I had knowledge about politics, but now I realize that I'm just a moron and I think that I'm smarter than I actually am. So what does this mean for the future of America since I'd like to be a teacher someday? My SAT score was incredibly crappy, but I also took it the day after prom and I knew I was enlisting so I didn't pay as much attention as I should have. My latest college GPA is 3.6, but I didn't really feel challenged and I felt like I B.S.'ed my way through.
So give me some feed back O'Reader. Am I a moron? If I'm not, then what is my problem? If I am, then where do I go to get informed on the issues of the day?

Three Things For Tiffany...That I Stole From CJ (Because I'm Brain Dead This Week)

Three names I go by: Adam, Junior, Parson
Three screen names I've had: smoke, qtip, merlin
Three physical things I like about myself: My eyes, my nose, and...do my eyes count as two?
Three physical things I don't like about myself: My weight, my fur, and my eye sight.
Three parts of my heritage: I know I've got Italian, the rest I'm not to sure about anymore.
Three things I am wearing right now: Plaid boxers, Old Navy cargo shorts, and a belt
Three favorite bands/musical artists: Dave Matthews Band, John Lennon, Bob Dylan, but I have more...
Three favorite songs: Two Step, Jealous Guy, Tangled Up In Blue, but I have more...
Three things I want in a relationship: Honesty, fidelity, and good conversation.
Two truths and a lie: I'd rather not, for some reason.
Three physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to you: "preferred sex?? I don't know what that means...." Me either.
Three favorite hobbies: Read, write, and try to learn music.
Three things that scare me: Death, failure, and the future.
Three of my everyday essentials: Coffee, computer, and my little family.
Three Careers you have considered or are considering : Teacher, Radio, Pilot, but I have more...
Three places you want to go on vacation: Ireland, Italy, Tour of the US, but I have more...
Three kids' names you like: Quentin, Shannon, Joshua
Three things you want to do before you die: Drive a race car, own a home, and play music.
Three ways I am stereotypically a boy: I love racing, drive a truck, and tend to be sexist, a lot.
Three ways I am stereotypically a girl: I use body wash, like scented candles, put lotion on all my limbs.
Three celeb crushes : Charlize Theron, Shirley Manson, and Tony Stewart (it's a man crush).
Three people I am tagging with this list : I don't know what that means either.

I'm movin out!

I moved this week and that was quite the experience. First off I failed to pack everything effectively, so when my parents showed up we where running around packing. Speaking of which, you never know how much stuff you have until your trying to put it all in boxes and a U-Haul type truck. Dad and I got a little frustrated with each other at times, but it worked out fine and I'm getting my new place put together. All I have left is to get my pictures hung on the walls.
My old landlord was a pain in the ass. I didn't help my cause any though. When I first moved in I signed a 12 month lease. Well that year cam and went and we didn't sign another lease, which I guess a lot of owners do, you just pay your rent and if you want to move you give 30 days notice and your on your way. Well, being younger and stupid, I shredded the old lease, I'm sure I'll get a legal bashing from CJ, but, it is what it is. So my real question is, even if I didn't get rid of it, is that old lease still valid? He kept trying to BS me about certain things that because I didn't have the lease I couldn't really argue or look and see if they where real or what. It wasn't anything big, it was just cleaning the carpet, but that was time consuming and time I didn't have. Long story short, I just bit the bullet and cleaned the carpets before I left, I took the opportunity and cleaned my new carpets too.

Musical Easter

Last Thursday I made the pilgrimage to my musical mass. If that last sentence makes no sense to you, then you need to read some of my old stuff. Anyway, I was going to skip church this year, because I couldn't get chair tickets, the only thing left was lawn, and I'm not a big fan of the grass. However I ended up going with a friend and we went to the lawn, and it wasn't all that bad. I could see everything, it was just a bit smaller, and the sound was great. I'll still prefer chair tickets any day of the week and twice on Sunday's but in a pinch, the grass will do just fine.

Now on to the "review", of all the DMB shows I have been to, this one was the best. The first time I went, it was towards the end of the tour and there wasn't much energy left in them. The next one was the second of a two night show and there where the same results. Now both shows where excellent, so that should tell you how good this one was. The band went through some issues of late and really haven't recorded with each other in a long time. There last album was tracks that didn't make it on some other albums, hence the name "Busted Stuff". Then the band "split" and a couple of them released solo albums. Last year they got themselves a new producer and went to work. The passion was back and it showed to the Virginia Beach crowd. To me they looked like they where having fun again and not "working" and that made all the difference. There where a few favorites that I wished I would have heard but that's alright by me. Because divided by the three I've gone to, I've heard live the ones I wanted to hear.

Also as requested by CJ a long time ago. The best album to check out if your new to DMB is "Crash" it's the essential, in my opinion. "Before These Crowded Streets" is next followed by either "Live at Folsom Field, Boulder Colorado" or "The Central Park Concert". The concert albums are all great, you really can't go wrong with them. Plus they go out a little further when the tapes are rolling. It's the best way to experience the band. The new one, "Stand Up" is good, but wouldn't make any converts to the flock. There are a few good tracks to check out though, "American Baby", "Louisiana Bayou", and "Hunger for the Great Light".

Until next time...

On Holiday

Well if anyone is still out there reading, I'm out for a week. So check back next Monday and we'll resume. Also I hereby swear to have something at least once a week. Some weeks may have more, but there will be something to start your week every Monday.

Bourbon Breakfast

We called it quits
I took a trip
To the Crescent Town
I wondered streets
I pounded bars
I tried to drag me down
I had Bourbon for breakfast
You wouldn't escape my mind
I had Bourbon for breakfast
All it did
Was stop the time

Hi Q

Your IQ Is 90
Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Below Average
Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

http://www.blogthings.com/quickanddirtyiqtest/

It hurts to see "Below Average" up there...

Little Boy Blue

I have returned from Florida, where there was two days of sun in seven.
I found out when I got home that a Brother In Arms has died. It wasn't on the battle field, it was in a hospital room and the cause was heart failure. Amazing how such little things can end such big lives. So tomorrow I will dawn my Dress Blue Uniform and attend a full honors funeral. I got to thinking about this uniform earlier and I have worn it for many occasions. I wore it for one of the three happiest days of my life, my wedding, and now I will have worn it for one of the saddest days of life, a funeral. I have worn it for social functions where I pretended to be something I'm not and pretended to like all the people around me, and sometimes I didn't pretend to well and told them what was really on my mind. I've worn it for ceremonies that welcomed those newly joining and those that are retiring. No matter what the occasion, or who the person being honored or buried the only thing they all have in common is me and my Dress Blue Uniform. Some of the items of the uniform have been changed, (rank, ribbons, medals, badges) some remain the same, but the person inside it, both happy and sad, is me.
Now you may be asking yourself, "What's the point?" and if you are then to your query I say, "I have no damn clue." I don't know what that means. Maybe it's like a poem, each will take away your own meaning, maybe it's me rambling as I often do. I don't know and don't much care, because, after all, this is mine.

And for the record: I have not lost motivation. I do know what I want. And don't we all look for a better "deal" to better this thing called Life?

Robert Allen Zimmerman

I've become a listener of Bob Dylan, Robert Zimmerman at birth, more and more as the years go by. So in a ground breaking event, I give you, Gentle Reader, a Rant like none other. A complete quote:

Tangled Up In Blue

Early one morning the sun was shinin' /I was layin' in bed /Wonderin' if she'd changed at all /If her hair was still red. /Her folks they said that our lives together /Sure was gonna be rough /They never did like mama's homemade dress /Papa's bankbook wasn't big enough /An' i was standin' on the side of the road /Rain fallin' on my shoes /Heading out for the east coast /Lord knows i've paid some dues, getting thru /Tangled up in blue.

She was married when we first met /Soon to be divorced /I helped her out of a jam i guess /But i used a little too much force /We drove that car as far as we could /Abandoned it out west /Split up on a dark sad night /Both agreein' it was best. /She turned around to look at me /As i was walkin' away /I heard her say over her shoulder /"We'll meet again some day, on the avenue /Tangled up in Blue''.

I had a job in the great north woods /Workin' as a cook for a spell /But i never did like it all that much /An' one day the ax just fell /So i drifted down to New Orleans /Where i's lucky to be employed /Workin' for a while on a fishin' boat /Right outside of Delacroix. /But all the while i was alone /The past was close behind /I seen a lot of women /But she never escaped my mind an' i just grew /Tangled up in blue.

She was workin' in a topless place /An' i stopped in for a beer /I just kept lookin' at the side of her face /In the spotlight so clear /An' later on when the crowd thinned out /I's just about to do the same /She was standin' there in back of my chair /Said to me "Don't i know your name?'' /I muttered somethin' underneath my breath /She studdied the lines on my face /I must admit i felt a little uneasy /When she bent down to tie the laces of my shoe /Tangled up in blue.

She lit a burner on the stove /An' offered me a pipe /"I thought you'd never say hello'', she said /"You look like the silent type'' /Then she opened up a book of poems /An' handed it to me / Written by an Italian poet /From the thirteenth century /An' every one of them words rang true /An' glowed like burning coal /Pourin' off of every page /Like it was written in my soul from me to you /Tangled up in blue.

I lived with them on Montague Street /In a basement down the stairs /There was music in the cafes at night /An' revolution in the air /Then he started dealin' with slaves /An' something inside of 'em died /She had to sell everything she owned /An' froze up inside. /An' when finally the bottom fell out /I became withdrawn /The only thing i knew how to do /Was to keep on keepin' on like a bird that flew /Tangled up in blue.

So now i'm goin' back again /I got to get to her somehow /All the people we used to know /They're an illusion to me now. /Some are mathematicians /Some are carpenters wives /Don't know how it all got started /I don't know what they're doin' with their lives. /But me i'm still on the road /Headin' for another joint /We always did feel the same /We just saw it from a different point of view /Tangled up in blue

Abuse?

Newsweek ran a story that claimed Americans had desecrated Korans in front of the Muslims being held in Guantanimo. That story turned out to be false (Oops!), and even if they did, so what, but I'll get to that in a minute. Riots started around the Middle East because of this and people died. I'll say that again PEOPLE DIED! We then tell these clerics "Wait, wait! Nothing happened!" They say, "Doesn't matter! Too late now!" Where do these jackoffs get the free pass, how are we the bad guys in this? They are cutting off people's heads. Aid workers, people going there to help and they kill them. But we are the bad guys, right Big Media? I'm so sick of this media hatred for this administration that they will make up stories to try to make them look bad. This is the second time this has happened, that I know of. CBS and Newsweek both have viewers and subscribers in the millions. They are very influential and they feel that they can just make up things as we go along all while criticizing the administration for sending us to war on "lies". Well being a little hypocritical aren't we?

Now about this Koran desecration. So what? Marilyn Manson used to tear up a Bible during his stage show, no one really got upset about that except Christians, but what do they matter? Coddle the Muslims, hate the Christians, it's the latest fad. If I have a choice of tearing up a religious book and getting information that saves my countrymen, give me some scissors and a shredder. I'm done listening to these whackos complain that prisoners are being roughed up a little or deprived of sleep or whatever else. What happened at that prison in Iraq was not abuse, that was hell week at a fraternity. Remember those high school girls who did a little initiation on their team mates by throwing feces at them and getting it in their mouths while Mom and Dad stood around and laughed. That, my friends is abuse, and those where high school kids.

The values in this country are as hosed as these Muslim assholes who we are trying to coddle. They hate us and want to kill us. There is no talking. There is no surrender. There is nothing that we can do except protect ourselves and take them out before they take us. Now I hate saying that. I have become quite the non-violent type lately, but these people scare me. If any of you have a doubt as to why we are doing what we are, I will happily send you pictures from 9-11-2001, that shows people jumping out of the World Trade Center, and we're talking close ups of these jumpers. But wait there's more, you'll also get close ups of a hole in the side of an United States Navy ship (That we didn't retaliate for. Thanks Bill). And if you call in the next ten minutes we'll also include images of bloody service members being pulled out of the Pentagon and for a limited time only, links to the videos of aid workers losing their heads. I've seen these videos and I've vomited afterwards along side of the other analysts, but I think that all of America needs to see them and think about losing your head with a dull knife.

"Wait! Stop! The story was wrong! Newsweek was wrong!"
"Well too late now!"
"Really? Well F-You!"

Random!

I have nothing to write about so I figure that I'll write about just that, nothing. My life is pretty mundane lately, not much exciting happening. I managed to rake my entire yard free of pine needles and with five pine trees that is a big feat, so I should be excited about that. I started going to the pool and swimming every other day, it's quite the work out. I hate going to the gym and working with weights because it's always such a "who's is bigger" type feeling and I hate that. I'm going to start taking classes again during the "summer session" so I can get this damn degree off my back. Sometimes I think that I should have gone to school full time, but I'd probably just party to much or something, so maybe it's better that I didn't. The last Star Wars comes out next week. I'm looking forward to that, I'm not a huge Star Wars geek, I just watch them for entertainment and not a way of life. Some kids, and adults now, just go way to far off the deep end when it comes to Star Wars and Star Trek, I think the Lord of the Rings now has a cult following just like the other two. Very strange to me, but hey what ever. I enjoy the movies and books, but I would never live my life according to George Lucas, J.R. Tolkein, or Anne Rice. If I had to pick a life director, it would probably be Anne Rice, since that's the one I follow the most as far as making sure I see/read all work. Dave Matthews Band has a new album out, I guess they call them CD's now, but album just rolls better, in my opinion. I've heard one track and I like it, so I'll probably pick the whole thing up this week or next. Well if you can think of anything else, let me know...

Media Clergy

With the death of one pope and the election of a new one in the days of "on demand" media the spotlight is on the Catholic Church in a way not seen since the molestation hysteria. As far as I'm concerned these two issues go hand in hand, media and Catholicism. The "big media" is telling us how the last pope reacted to molestation, and how the new one might. The biggest question I have is what are the true numbers of these cases compared to all the Church? I don't condone those priests that did these crimes, they should be jailed, or the ones who covered it up and that goes all the way to the top with J.P. 2, he could have done more as far as I'm concerned. The year that Elizabeth Smart decided to take a ride with her internet boyfriend and then her parents cried kidnap (yeah, that's what I think really happened), the actual number of child kidnapping cases was down. However the attention that was put on the case made everyone think that this was a strange new epidemic. I spent 11 years around clergy. Everyday, and in close proximity, sometimes even alone. Not once did I ever see anything that even remotely resembled sexual advances. One of the most influential people in my life just happened to wear a Roman collar. I spent a great deal of time with this man and never, ever, did anything like that happen. There are millions of priests and nuns in this world and a select few have to ruin it for them. Gone are the days of the Catholic Youth Organization trips that are only accompanied by the clergy of the school/church, if they even happen at all. Gone are the days of trusting the very people of the cloth that have nothing but love for their congregation, people of all faiths, races, and tax brackets. I include myself in that group of untrusting people too, as a parent, I have to. Isn't that sad?

Block Party

I'M EXPERIENCING A SEVERE CASE OF WRITERS BLOCK!

Licks and Picks

Since the left side of my brain is pretty much controlling my actions lately I decided to invest my tax return into a guitar. I bought a Squire, which is the lower end of Fender, so it can't be that bad, it looks like a Telecaster, which is what Prince used to play in the early 80's. It's electric, by the way. So now I have a guitar, three picks, one strap (that says "Mississippi Music Company" and I think that's kind of cool), one case, and two books to aid me on my adventure.

So I get this thing home and take it out and get ready to play, and then I realize that I know absolutely Jack about playing. I figure that the books will teach me something, and they have taught me a little, but I'm "Me Generation" remember? I look at these guys on TV (That aint workin'/That's the way you do it) and I think, "It doesn't seem that hard.", Yeah, OK! I now have cramped my hand to the point of tears more times than I can count and just like Bryan Adams in the Summer of '69 I've played it 'till my fingers bled, and that is a terrible feeling, just so you know. I've broken a few picks too. After all that heart ache and pain you'd think I've learned some amazing stuff, right? Well, Gentle Reader, not so much. I've learned one song that was in the book, and that's just six notes, the first six that the book teaches you. I've learned one "lick" that Dave Matthews used in one of his songs, and I think I learned to play "House of the Rising Sun" but I'm not sure, it doesn't sound right to me for some reason.

One would think that I would give up with all this let down, but that aint good enough for me (and my Bobby McGee), I love it. I tried to play after my fingers where bleeding and I was very upset that I couldn't because it just hurt too bad. I've got a drive and desire that keeps me going. I keep having a vision of me entertaining some small smoky bar or something like that. So off I'll go, breaking picks, strings, and my fingers, and maybe with all that breaking going on I'll get a break and have "The thrill that'll getcha when your get your picture on the cover of the Rollin' Stone."

Phi Kappa Dave

After a few days of pondering my next rant to you, the Gentle Reader, I decided that I would stop thinking about it and it would hit me. Sure enough it did, right as I was falling asleep last night. So with out further delay:

Every year I make my "pilgrimage" to one of two music cathedrals known as Virginia Beach amphitheater or Pittsburgh's Starlake amphitheater to worship the music gods. My music mass is lead by the Dave Matthews Band (from here on out referred to as "DMB"). Now I was a late bloomer to the DMB band wagon, I first saw them in 2002, and that was a last minute decision. I woke up one morning and said, "Hey DMB tickets go on sale today, I guess I'll buy some." I went to the show not really knowing any songs, other than the ones on the radio, and only knowing one band members name, the obvious one. I walked out of the show like a drug addict. I was addicted to the music, the words, the talent, and the chemistry that the band has with each other.

So like any good college boy, 'cause that's what I am now, I decided to do some research on this band, I won't bore you with the details, but I found quite a bit. One thing that has stood out was an article that was written by someone I don't know, in a magazine (Which is every magazine...) (Only CJ will get that reference, I'm sure.)) that I can't remember, and it said something like, "The frat boys have their Grateful Dead." Now at the time it didn't bother me, but as I kept feeding my addiction, it grew to bother me. I now own every studio album except one, and I don't own most of the concert albums, because, for the most part, each concert is the "same" but I have a couple of those.

I don't claim to be a musical expert, but I have a deeper appreciation than many people I meet, and I actually take time to sit down and read DMB's lyrics, which are actually very deep, for lack of a better word. Then you have these kegger hand stand frat boys that have no appreciation, who come to my musical mass and hoot and holler when there is a drinking or pot reference in the music, or they're getting too drunk to even remember the show. Then they roam around the parking lot, post concert, yelling, because when your drunk everything you say is very "intelligent", so you have to make sure all the people hear you. I actually left one show in Pittsburgh to find two fraties answering natures call on the sides of my truck. I asked them if they where marking their territory and they said "no", and said something about the Virginia plates and the NASCAR sticker on my truck. To which I replied by hitting the panic button on the remote from my pocket and they just looked at me stupidly. It drives me absolutely bonkers (I always wanted to use that word) that I have this deep love of the music and the talent and the poetry of the DMB and these fratties have to show up and put a damper on my "high" after the show, by hanging out the car windows and yelling to "see some titties!" OK that part I don't mind, because I enjoy a good pair of boobs exposed to the elements as the next guy.

However, even with all this, I will continue to buy tickets, make my pilgrimage, listen to all the CD's for a month after the show, and attempt to learn the songs on my own, with my guitar in hand...but that's another rant.

Cheese and Whine

Well I think the first attempt at commentary went well, I got some good comments. Thank you to all that read it.

I feel the need to clarify that this is not meant to sound like the whining of the "Me Generation". This is simply me stating my opinions and random thoughts that come across my mind when I'm driving, reading, watching the little bit of TV I do, or any other activity from the day. I don't know if any of my Gentle Readers think that I'm a whiner, but incase you do, just know I'm not looking for sympathy or throwing a pity party. I'm sure over the course of this endeavor I'll upset someone, and I'm fine with that. I'm fine because that's what writing and opinions do for people. There are no two people in this world who agree on everything so we're all bound to upset someone sooner or later. The true test comes when both parties can look at the others opinions with respect and not anger.

I've always been told, "If your going to bitch, don't just bitch. Bitch and come up with a solution." Well this may work in the job-place, but there are something that bitching and solutions can't change. As much as we wish or hope that we could change them we can't. This is the hard part of life for me, "What if I went left instead of right..." I can't do anything about it now! Find a way to push through! Be strong! Easier said than done, I think. I try not to regret anything, but I do, and I think we all have things we regret. I also hear that "everything happens for a reason" well that's fine and dandy but I'm nosy and I want the damn reason. Goes back to that "Me Generation" (NOW! NOW! NOW!) why wait?

Funeral For A Friend

I woke up this morning around 4:00AM EST to watch the funeral service for Pope John Paul II. Now this is a strange event for me because I grew up Catholic and this is the only Pope I've known and also a whole generation has known. Now I'm an American and therefore I was one of the Popes unruly children, when I say unruly, I mean as Americans we didn't completely agree with what came out of Rome, but I was still a Catholic and for the most part stuck to my roots, as did many others. He was very conservative and that roused a great deal of anger from the forward thinking Americans, but we still embraced this man when he came to our great land. I had the privilege of standing in the St. Louis Cathedral where he said a mass while in New Orleans, and that was a moving thing for me. Mostly because I'm a history nerd and seeing "exact" locations always makes me feel a part of that event, but now it has even greater meaning, standing where a great world leader once stood, seeing what he saw, I don't know how to explain it, but it was quite an emotion.

When it's all said and done, personally I admire him. I admire him for his convictions and unquestionable faith. I admire him for standing up for what he felt and believed to be right. I admire him for coming out of Soviet Poland, where the Church was looked upon badly, to become the leader of said Church and starting non-violent revolution against that same regime. I admire him for reaching out to other faiths. I admire him for standing up to those who doubted him in his own Church. I admire him for praying with the very man who tried to kill him. I admire him for pushing the boundaries of his office, for being a Pope like no others before. So yes, I dropped a few tears in the early hours of the morning and out side my bedroom where I watched on my 13 inch television, the sky was crying as well, the sky expressed the emotion that my self and many others felt, not just Catholics, but all people from all walks of life and all religious beliefs and some who have no belief at all. It was as if the world was crying over the loss of one of her children, as she has done so many times before.

Here's the other thing about the death of J.P. 2, last year we watched the funeral of Ronald Reagan, who was, for almost the first ten years of my life, the only president I knew. So here we have major figures of my life dying off. Now I didn't know these men personally by any means, but, I remember being a child and these two where everywhere. I knew them before I knew friends and now they are both gone. It's like my memories of my youth, kids I went to school with, events of my childhood, all of which are slowly dying. Not dying in the physical sense, but getting further and further away. I'm having what John Mayer calls a "Quarter Life Crisis", I'm facing mortality and feeling the panic of being stuck between the sheltered harbor of childhood and the rough waters of adulthood. I have rounded the cape and the continental drop off is fast approaching. I realized that I started high school ten years ago. I'm at an age that seemed like another world to me when I was younger. However I know, at the same time I've got a lot more years coming...